


All For One...

by GeekLover



Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017) RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, POV Multiple, RPF, Secret Crush, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2020-02-25 23:11:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 67,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18711589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeekLover/pseuds/GeekLover
Summary: Armie, Timmy, and Saoirse are best friends - the three musketeers everyone calls them, but with their senior year coming - and with it so many changes - they worry about the impact on their friendship. They vow to get through everything together. By the end of the year that might be easier said than done, especially when love gets in the way.





	1. ...And One For All

**Author's Note:**

> Based on rainbowdazzle/ChunkMonk's great prompt:
> 
> Charmie high school-love triangle straight out of a show on the CW-AU:
> 
> Armie, Saoirse, and Timmy are best friends. The three musketeers people call them, as they’ve grown up together in the same neighborhood and are generally inseparable. But getting older has its challenges, and by the time senior year of high school rolls around, things get complicated. First, there’s Saoirse, who is dealing with the stress of her parents' divorce, getting into her dream college, and the fact that after a pretty bad breakup she finds herself starting to crush on her best friend Timmy, which throws her into an emotional tailspin.
> 
> Then there is Timmy, who has his own issues, like preparing for his audition for Julliard and the fact that he’s gay and wants to come out for his senior year, but is unsure of how everyone will take it. Especially his best friends, who he feels he’s been dishonest with all these years by keeping this a secret. Especially Armie. Armie who sprouted up several feet in the summer between eighth grade and freshman year, who Timmy has been in love with since forever. Not that he thinks he has a chance. He’s straight as an arrow and thinks of Timmy more like a brother.
> 
> And lastly, there’s Armie. The golden god of their school, with his movie star good looks, full ride sports scholarship, and a perfect cheerleader girlfriend, he’s primed for a bright future. In the eyes of everyone, he seems to have it all, but he feels more like a walking cliche. The things he should want aren’t what he really wants at all. He’s supposed to go off and become a big college athlete, then marry and settle down like his parents did, but he’d rather spend his time writing short stories, the kind he fills notebook after notebook with and doesn’t show a soul. And while he likes his girlfriend—girls in general—if he had the balls to do it, there’s someone else he’d much rather date and it happens to be his best friend Timmy. But things like that definitely don’t fit the plan.
> 
> How will these three friends navigate their senior year and their ever-changing complex relationships with each other?
> 
>  
> 
> Hope you enjoy my take on your prompt. I've loved so many of your awesome prompts on Tumblr but this one just really spoke to me and I couldn't stop coming up with ideas for the story, so I finally got off my butt (figuratively speaking) and started writing it. It's my first Charmie fic and I'm nervous about posting it, but I hope enough people enjoy this first chapter and the rest of the story.
> 
> Thanks so, so much to shimmeringstarss for volunteering to help beta and being so encouraging! Also, big thanks to Willowbrooke for helping with this first chapter and helping to make it better than it started!
> 
> Warning - Underage drinking

This was not how Armie was expecting to feel tonight of all nights. After all, this was supposed to be the hottest party of the year - an event to celebrate the start of the Class of 2019’s upcoming senior year! Ordinarily, he would be making his way through the crowd chatting up everyone, making sure they were having a good time - even if he wasn’t the one throwing the party - and handing out kisses and hugs like a politician trolling for votes. Instead, he was huddled in the corner of this ginormous ballroom, like a wallflower, clutching a Corona (a lime-less Corona not a favorite of his, but better than the other IPA options) and feeling decidedly blah about everything.

It was odd that Armie had gone unnoticed for so long. Given his large size and his popularity, people were usually drawn to him but tonight he mainly stayed on the outskirts of the party and only a couple of people so far came over to say hello.

The way Armie was feeling had nothing to do with the party being lame or anything. His teammate, Ansel Elgort was holding the party at his house. Well, “house” never felt like an accurate word to describe it. The word palace more often came to mind (Ansel sometimes referred to it as his fortress of solitude given how often his parents were out of town.)

They lived in California, so it’s not as if mansions were a rarity. Ansel’s house was still impressive. The exterior of the three-acre house looked like something out of a Disney movie. The house had ten bedrooms, fourteen bathrooms, indoor & outdoor swimming pools, a tennis court, a home theater, a sauna/spa, and an outdoor spa. 

Ansel usually didn’t invite people to his house. It seemed his parents liked to keep the house as if it was a museum. Armie had been going to school with Ansel since they were kids and they had played on the same football team for three years yet Ansel had never invited him over to hang out. 

But now it was like the velvet ropes had come down and no room in the house was off-limits.

Sometimes Armie felt sorry for Ansel, given how rarely his parents were around - though given Armie’s own parents he envied him just as much sometimes - but it had its advantages since they liked to throw their money around to make up for it and this party was a prime example. 

Their only condition for allowing Ansel to have the party at the house was that it had to be cleaned up immediately and he had to handle all the details.

Even though his Uncle Andrew was his guardian while his parents were away Ansel got to do whatever he wanted. Andrew was in his late twenties and was probably less responsible than Ansel. 

So, Ansel clearly spared no expense. He hired a world-renowned chef just to make fancy dishes that would most likely remain half-eaten and discarded. It was a little cheesy but he’d also had a photo booth installed in the foyer. He even got a DJ. With the money being thrown at this party, Armie was surprised it wasn’t freakin’ DJ Khaled.

Going overboard was par the course for Ansel and his desperate need to be liked. Not just liked, but Ansel clearly wanted to not only be popular - which he already was - but be the king of the school. Unfortunately for him, that crown had always belonged to Armie...well not always.

So much had changed for Armie the summer before his freshman year - he shot up nine inches, he lost all of what his mother insisted on calling his baby fat, his voice got deeper and he basically looked like a movie star. Unlike the previous years, people had rolled out the red carpet for him as soon as he had set foot in Berkeley High. 

By Thanksgiving break, he was one of the most popular kids in school. It helped that his older brother Viktor was a popular football player. But Armie earned that popularity on his own merits as well. Besides looking like he stepped off a magazine cover, he was also athletically gifted. For most people, it was just the cherry on top that he was sweet to everyone just because. He was the only freshman to get asked to the senior prom - by a senior no less.

Despite all of that, he couldn’t help feeling like he was nothing special and wondered when everyone would turn on him again. Maybe it would finally be this year.

Groaning, Armie pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes. He shook himself out of his maudlin thoughts. If he couldn’t get to a happy place naturally, he was going to let alcohol be his guide. 

It took him only three strides to cross to the left side of the room where there was a table that stretched the length of the room piled up with assorted alcoholic beverages. Armie didn’t know how Ansel managed it, but right now, he was just grateful. He pulled from one of the many ice buckets another Corona. 

One thing not helping his mood was that he’d been at the party for almost an hour and had spent most of it alone. His friends were off doing their own thing and he wasn’t really interested in spending time with anyone else. 

Before opening his beer he paused and turned to look around at all the kids that remained in the ballroom (a lot of kids had splintered off into different groups exploring different parts of the huge mansion. Some people were enjoying the pools or the hot tub. There were some at the home theater where Ansel was running an 80s high school movie marathon.) Some of the kids left behind were already so wasted they could barely stand, some dancing so close you’d need a crowbar to pry them apart. Most smiling and seemingly having the time of their lives. A lot of them were people he’d known since the first grade. Next year, almost all of them would go their separate ways. 

Next year, the days of seeing his best friends Saoirse Ronan and Timotheé Chalamet every day would also be gone. No more sleepovers. No more movie nights. No more climbing into each other’s windows. It would all be over.

A strong wave of sadness came over him - so strong that it felt like a physical presence pushing him against the hard edge of the table. All summer he’d tried to avoid thinking about that, but it hit him that this was probably the reason he was so out of sorts tonight. 

It felt a little silly to be thinking about this now. So what if he was alone at the party. Despite constantly being called the three musketeers - because of how long they’d known each other and how tight they all were - Armie, Timmy, and Saoirse were not attached at the hip, especially at parties. This was nothing new...and yet to him looking around and not being able to see his best friends felt like a harbinger of doom.

Scoffing at his own overdramatic thoughts, Armie quickly opened his beer and gulped it down. He hoped the drunker he got, the less sappy and overwrought his thoughts would become. Also, he decided not standing around in one place might be helpful and he started looking around for some of his nearest and dearest.

He looked around for a minute or two and spotted his girlfriend, Elizabeth Chambers. She was talking with her best friend, Lily-Rose Depp. Not talking with their mouths - no that would be insane! They were standing next to each other and texting. Occasionally, they would look at each other and instead of laughing they would literally say “LOL.” Armie shuddered and walked away before she could spot him. It always creeped him out when she did that.

It was par for the course with her. She was a nice girl but half the time Armie felt like he was in a threeway relationship with Elizabeth and her phone. He was increasingly convinced Liz would have an easier time picking her phone out of a line-up than Armie’s face. 

Most of the time, he and Elizabeth didn’t spend much time together at parties so he didn’t exactly miss her.

His friends on the other hand…

Since Ansel was hosting the party, Saoirse - as his girlfriend - felt like she had to act as hostess. She was so nervous that she kept trying on different outfits and asking Armie’s advice which she rarely ever did - with good reason. His idea of good fashion was not wearing the same t-shirt too many times in a row - for him, that meant no more than seven times a month. The pink t-shirt he was currently rocking was only on its third rotation.

Armie thought Saoirse looked amazing in the long, red dress she had finally picked out after a painstaking process. Saoirse was flitting from room to room. Every so often, he would see the back of her wavy blond hair but she was never there for long. 

And then there was Timothée - Timmy or Timmy Tim as he would call him when he wanted to be super annoying and watch Timmy affectionately roll his eyes at him. Armie looked across the crowded room and despite the mass of swaying bodies and pink and purple swirling lights he instantly spotted him. 

It helped that Timmy was helping the DJ and currently shaking his hips and waving his beautiful brown curls all around to some Mariah Carey song. It also didn’t hurt that his black shirt was covered in bright red hearts no one could miss. 

But none of that mattered because when it came to finding Timmy, he could do that in his sleep. It didn’t matter how crowded or dark or enormous the room was, it didn’t matter if he was stoned or drunk, his homing beacon Timmy was always on point. 

As if sensing his eyes and thoughts on him, Timmy looked up and instantly spotted him. The homing beacon thing seemed to work both ways.

Armie and Timmy had arrived at the party together but when Timmy had seen the DJ he had made a beeline over there. Timmy, the future world-renowned, award-winning concert pianist was a lover of all things music and was ecstatic when he could play amateur DJ. 

Despite feeling a little lonely, he wouldn’t dream of interrupting Timmy’s good time. Since he was five-years-old, Armie had made it his mission to make sure Timmy was happy and protected at all times and he wasn’t about to stop now.

Timmy shot him one of his mega-watt smiles. His “how can one person be so fucking adorable” smiles. Armie gave a short wave, immensely thankful that Timmy couldn’t see that his smile had turned his legs to jelly. He clutched the long neck of his beer bottle and let out a long sigh. For a second he wondered if it was the butterflies in his stomach or the look Timmy was shooting him that made him feel like he could float away at any moment.

His “crush” on Timmy seemed to be getting more and more pronounced with each passing year. After this last summer they spent apart - only the second summer they’d spent apart since they’d met - he felt like it was getting harder and harder to control or hide his feelings.

At times like this, it was even more difficult. The DJ’s flirty behavior was really starting to push Armie’s buttons. Presently, he was leaning in close to say something to Timmy. Obviously, it’s so loud they needed to get close to hear each other but he was pretty sure it didn’t require him gripping Timmy’s bicep and grinning like a lecherous perv with a hard-on. 

If looks could kill the DJ would probably have been a vapor trail by now. He practically wore a hole in the varnished floor as he paced and continued to watch the interaction, guzzling his beer. He was sure he must be imagining Timmy reciprocating the flirting. Timmy tucked an errant strand of hair behind his ear - that predictably didn’t stay there (that front curl never did as it was told) and bit his lip as he laughed at whatever the guy had said. He would kill to hear that adorable, wheezing Timmy laugh.

It didn’t help that the DJ was gorgeous - Armie could see that. He looked like he could be Diplo’s twin...He squinted _My God, could that actually be Diplo_. He shook his head and put the thought away. It didn’t matter anyway. If he touched Timmy again, he didn’t know how much longer he would be able to stop himself from marching across the room, tearing the Diplo lookalike’s arms off and beating him until he wasn’t so gorgeous anymore and learned to keep his hands to himself. 

Realizing how violent and unhinged that thought was, he put the cool and now very empty beer bottle against his forehead. Growling low in his throat, he stalked back to the drink table, put the bottle down, and gripped the edge as he took in a huge breath and let it out.

He leaned against the table as he turned his attention back to the front of the room. The DJ was now handing Timmy his headphones and Timmy looked like a kid getting his first boner on Christmas morning. 

If he wasn’t such a coward, he would go over there right now and tell Timmy that he was the most important person in the world to him and that the thought of his smile is the only thing that gets him out of bed on days when Armie thinks that he just can’t take one more second of living under his parents’ thumbs. Why can’t he tell him that almost every happy memory in his life featured Timmy in some way? That he felt like he could still feel Timmy on his skin for days after he had touched him. Or that sometimes just the thought of what Timmy could do to him with that gorgeous mouth of his could make him come embarrassingly fast?

Letting out a shuddering breath, he looked down briefly to make sure there wasn’t a tell-tale tent in his jeans. He was relieved that there wasn’t but that moment of relief quickly dissipated when he stared back at Timmy.

Would it hurt to go up to Timmy right now and kiss him the way he’s wanted to since he was twelve years old?

He stood up straighter, clenching his fists so tightly he could feel his nails digging painfully into his palms, but maybe that was a good thing because the pain brought him back to reality, because no matter how much he wanted to be honest with Timmy he knew he couldn’t because, yes, it would hurt. 

It would hurt his parents. 

They were fanatically religious and if he admitted his feelings for Timmy they would never get over it and would disown him. This time he wasn’t being overly dramatic. Before Viktor left for college, he had admitted to his parents that he thought he was an atheist. No matter how much they had badgered him, Vik wouldn’t take back what he had said and they cut him off in every sense of the word. They hadn’t spoken to him in three years.

Honestly, Armie was not sure what they would consider worse - having a son who is an atheist or a son who’s bisexual?

Not only would it hurt his parents, but admitting his feelings to Timmy would probably hurt their friendship and that would be far worse than his parents’ possible rejection. Timmy was so sweet he would do everything in his power to make sure Armie didn’t feel like a creepy weirdo lusting after his best friend, but he wouldn’t return his feelings, primarily because Timmy wasn’t gay. 

His jealousy of Diplo the Second was pointless. It’s not like either of them stood a chance with Timmy. And, it’s not like he could really blame the guy for being charmed by him. He would challenge anyone to spend a single second with Timmy and not fall head over heels for him. 

Armie really felt like Timmy could replace those therapy dogs used to comfort people who’d experienced tragedies. He was that cute, that sweet, and that loveable. He was the kindest, funniest, and the most gentle soul he had ever known. 

Closing his eyes, he clutched at his stomach as his guts churned. Given how good Timmy was, even if he were gay, he’d probably deserve a lot better than him.

On the verge of tears - or possibly a breakdown - he wanted the ground to swallow him whole. He wasn’t even thinking when he gazed up in Timmy’s direction. Timmy met his eyes and he sucked in a breath trying to mask his sullen features and immediately turn his frown into the best smile he could muster. No matter how bad he was feeling, he was determined not to bring Timmy down. 

~*~

She didn’t know why, but Saoirse found herself once again laughing at one of Dakota Johnson’s dumb jokes. Well, actually she knew why. Dakota had cornered her in the kitchen twenty minutes ago and wouldn’t stop regaling her with tales of her fabulous summer internship with the best boss ever, Mr. Grey. Saoirse was mostly just humoring her in the hopes that she could make a quick escape.

For the fifth time, she tried to dodge her and make a hasty exit but Ms. Johnson stepped in front of her and wouldn’t let her leave. Saoirse wasn’t sure if she was doing this on purpose, but at this point, it didn’t matter. She was literally this close to tunneling her way through her.

But then she realized she was the de facto hostess of this damn party and committing murder would probably be frowned upon. So, she conjured her widest, fakest smile and nodded as Dakota continued to drone on and on. 

Normally, she tried to limit her interactions with cheerleaders but with Armie dating one and Saoirse dating a football player, it was unavoidable sometimes. At times, she wondered if it was worth putting up with the fake, snooty, plastic people Ansel tended to surround himself with but she loved him and felt like it was her duty to do whatever she could to be the best girlfriend possible.

Even though her mind had trailed off and she had no idea what Dakota had just said, she spotted a pause in her droning and let out another fake laugh. There was something about that laugh that made her freeze and wrinkled her nose. It sounded familiar to her ears. It was a sound that set her teeth on edge. It sounded like...Elizabeth’s laugh? 

Did Elizabeth Chambers’ laugh come out of her own mouth?

Saoirse could feel bile bubble up in her throat. Not even bothering to make an excuse, she was out of that room in a heartbeat with Dakota mid-sentence. She stopped in the middle of the all-white foyer. 

Putting up with cheerleaders was one thing, but becoming one was quite another, especially someone like Elizabeth. There was a reason Saoirse’s nickname for her was Regina Lite - all of the fakeness, but none of the charm of Regina George. 

Though she tried not to call her that in front of Armie - at least not anymore since for some reason he got testy about people insulting his girlfriend.

Not that she was shy about sharing her unfavorable opinion of Elizabeth with Armie. He was one of her best friends and it was her duty to tell him when he was making stupid decisions with his crotch instead of his brain but those arguments never went well. Saoirse and Armie were both stubborn as all hell and butted heads more times than she could count.

It was not like Armie was a huge fan of her relationship with Ansel either, though Armie was much more diplomatic in his criticisms and mostly kept his opinions to himself. Not that Saoirse admitted this to Armie, but she realized he probably had more of a valid reason for his dislike of Ansel than she had for disliking Elizabeth - at least at first. 

Saoirse’s instant dislike didn’t come from Elizabeth doing anything personally to hurt Saoirse - though that soon changed. The same could not be said of Ansel when it came to Armie.

But Ansel had changed. Saoirse had made sure of that. 

Despite her annoyance with some things, normally she felt like being with Ansel was worth it. While she knew it was a little gross, she felt a certain amount of pride that Ansel picked her out of everyone he could in the school. Granted, they had gotten together in freshman year before Ansel joined the football team and became more popular, and he could have ended it when he had become more popular but he hadn’t.

Now that she was thinking about him, she realized she hadn’t seen him in ages. She would be damned if she was doing all the hosting since it was Ansel’s freaking party. 

She searched the ballroom and the deck but he wasn’t there either.

After searching most of the first floor, it finally dawned on her that she might find Ansel in his bedroom. She had to stop herself from smacking her forehead for missing something so obvious.

Halfway up the stairs, a blonde and brunette - she thought they might be Jeremy Rogers and Emma Glover, but she wasn’t positive - barreled past her and the guy stepped on the back of her long dress. 

“For fucks’ sake!” Saoirse muttered as she had to put her hand against the wall to maintain her balance. It was a good thing she was wearing flats. 

She turned to look at the back of her dress and was amazed he hadn’t ripped it with his thick boots. Six people tonight had already stepped on it.

Saoirse loved the dark red maxi dress with a tropical print of flowers. The dress was a bit riskier than what she usually wore. It had a low back with two ties keeping it together and there were deep slits up both sides. The skirt was very long. She had had reservations about it - so had Armie and Timmy but Ansel thought it was fine. Ultimately, Saoirse decided that Ansel’s opinion mattered the most on this, especially since it was his party. 

It was probably not her wisest decision. Yet again, she should have listened to her friends.

Thinking about her friends, she paused and fell back against the wall as a feeling of sadness weighed heavily in her gut. It hit her how much she really didn’t want to be doing this. 

She didn’t want to be playing hostess. She didn’t want to be searching a ridiculously large mansion for her wayward boyfriend. She didn’t want to be fake laughing at boring, lame cheerleaders and their boring and lame stories. 

What she wanted to be doing was dancing and having fun with Armie and Timmy, while she still could. 

She was actually a little worried about Armie. The last time she was in the ballroom, she saw him just standing in the corner watching everybody else, which was definitely not like him. He’d seemed out of sorts since he’d come back home this summer. 

But she couldn’t ask her best friend what was going on with him because she had to find her boyfriend.

When she got to Ansel’s room she opened the door and he was sitting on his bed. Her first thought was she wanted to kick Ansel for chilling in his room while the party was going on and she was stuck tending to everyone’s needs. She was about to open her mouth and yell at him when she noticed him flipping through notecards in his hands. Her heart melted instantly.

Ansel had been determined to give some sort of speech at the party. His rationale was that they were about to start on a momentous year and his party would be the perfect place to gather everyone together and set the tone for the rest of the year. So, she knew the speech was important to him but had never expected him to have actual notes prepared. 

Clearly, he had tuned out everything and hadn’t even noticed Saoirse’s presence. He pressed his hands down his black shirt and settled it over his stomach. “We are about to embark on the most momentous…” He stopped. “‘Most momentous?’ That sounds stupid.” He scratched out the line aggressively.

“Hey, baby,” Saoirse said as she sat down next to him and smoothed her hand down his arm and his yellow jacket (the school’s mascot was a Yellow Jacket so Ansel thought yellow and black would be perfect for the party.)

Ansel’s eyes widened. “Wow, I didn’t even see you. How long have you been here?”

Saoirse smiled, cocking her head to the side and gazing at him with affection. “Just a couple of minutes.” She pointed at the note cards. “Practicing your speech?”

Ansel’s face turned red and he squeezed the cards. “It’s dumb, right. It’s just supposed to be a fun, short speech. You’d think I was the fucking valedictorian or something.”

“It’s not dumb. It’s adorable!” She pinched his cheek.

Ansel squirmed away. “Sersh! You know I hate it when you do that.”

Saoirse pulled her hand away with an apologetic grin. “Sorry, you just have such pinchable cheeks.” She glanced down. “And the ones on your butt aren’t so bad, either.” Ansel snorted with laughter. 

It made her happy to see Ansel visibly relaxing. She felt good knowing that she was the one who knew how to make him loosen up. “So, is this why you disappeared from the party? To go over your notes?”

Ansel nodded and shrugged. “Yeah. I figured I should make it soon. People are going to start splintering off soon and the rest will be too drunk to listen.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right about that.” She stood up and gave a short nod. “So, you finish up here and I’m going to go downstairs and see if I can find Armie and Timmy-”

Ansel tugged on her hand. “Don’t go.”

She bit back a groan. Mentioning Armie and Timmy probably wasn’t a great idea. For some reason lately, Ansel had started becoming more and more possessive, especially when it came to Armie and Timmy - especially Armie. 

He was jealous of Armie and even though he knew Saoirse and Armie were just friends - had known that all along and it had never been an issue before - now he seemed to want to put distance between them. 

Wiping the annoyed look off her face, she turned to Ansel with what she hoped looked like a smile. “Why? I didn’t think you needed me up here. You went off by yourself and didn’t need me then.”

Ansel pursed his lips and crossed his arms over his chest. “Well, I need you now. Just go over the speech with me one more time and then we can go.”

Slumping down to sit next to him, she sighed. “Sure, anything for you, baby.”

After fifteen minutes, she finally convinced Ansel the speech was fine and dragged him downstairs. It took another ten minutes to make it to the ballroom because Ansel kept stopping to schmooze with everyone who crossed his path. Finally, inside the ballroom, she spotted Timmy right away since he was standing up at the DJ station up at the front. Timmy loved doing things like that but instead of looking happy, Timmy was frowning.

She followed his gaze and saw that he was looking at Armie. Even though she could only see Armie’s profile, she could tell he was frowning, too. Immediately, she took a step forward and was instantly tugged back. When she glanced back, Ansel just gave her a pointed look before turning around to talk to Jake Till, another football player.

This annoyed her for many reasons. The main one being that she didn’t like Ansel giving her some non-verbal command as if she were a dog. Secondly, if he wanted to spend time with her that was fine but she wasn’t in the mood to just be an accessory as he hung out with his friends, while she needed to abandon hers. 

Saoirse looked from Ansel and then back to her friends. What the hell was going on over there?

~*~

Timmy couldn’t help giggling as DJ Slam excitedly clapped him on the back and flashed him a toothy grin.

“Damn, kid! Where’d you learn how to mix beats, like that?” The DJ kept staring at Timmy as if he’d discovered the cure to cancer.

“Well, it’s not my first time, you know,” Timmy chuckled. His laughter got caught in his throat as he glanced over at the blonde and the look in his eyes was downright predatory. Timmy swallowed. “I mean, it’s not my first time using a mixer. 

“That’s too bad.” DJ Slam sniffed and sidled closer eyeing him up and down. “I was hoping to teach you a few things.”

Timmy ran a hand through his chestnut curls and bit his lip. “Well, it’s not my first time but I still have a lot to learn. I don’t have skills like you.”

“I bet you got all kinds of skills.”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

Inside, he was screaming. He couldn’t believe how brazenly he was flirting with this guy. Though, it’s not as if he was a stranger to flirting. He found it somewhat amusing that despite having limited dating experience, he was a champion flirt. It came to him as easily as breathing. 

This DJ was also adept at it and was not being very subtle. Every time he looked at him, Timmy felt like he was undressing him with his eyes and was ready to round third base as fast as possible. 

He had flirted with guys before but it was usually brief and not as open as this. They were in front of almost his entire class. Despite that, Timmy wasn’t as scared as usual. The fact he had decided this summer that he was finally going to come out might have had something to do with it.

It was important for him to not spend his senior year living a lie anymore. He wanted to be open and honest - especially to his family and his friends. Right now, he was taking baby steps towards that goal and learning how to not let his fears take over. So, why not flirt with the cute DJ? It was innocent enough and it wasn’t like anyone could hear what they were saying.

Glancing next to him, he could see DJ Slam was still looking at him like he hadn’t had a meal in days and was picturing Timmy as a T-bone steak. It should have made him more nervous than it did, but Timmy liked how obviously this guy wanted him. 

The man really was gorgeous. He had the prettiest green almond-shaped eyes and his short blonde hair was the perfect length for him. He kind of reminded him of - well, Diplo was the first name that came to mind - but he looked a little like Armie. Though, not to be harsh, DJ Slam couldn’t begin to compare to Armie.

Armie’s hair was thick and gorgeous. It wasn’t short right now, but not as long as Timmy might have liked. Armie had never grown his hair out longer than slightly past the middle of his neck since they were in middle school. It made a sad sense since kids teased Armie mercifully for it, among other reasons.

Those kids were all jealous losers as far as he was concerned. Timmy thought Armie had looked amazing with long hair. Honestly, Timmy thought Armie looked good no matter what. The boy looked great with blue hair, braces, and pimples. There was never a time Timmy thought he looked less than perfect.

His blue eyes were so vibrant and magnetic that they put Cary Elwes’ eyes in _A Princess Bride_ to shame. He isn’t sure how Armie hadn’t figured out that he had a crush on him. More times than he could count, he forgot how to speak and just stared transfixed at those eyes. 

There wasn’t a part of Armie he wasn’t transfixed by - his nose, his mouth, those hands. God, Armie’s hands were huge! The number of times he had fantasized about those hands trailing all over his body until they traveled all the way down and wrapped around his aching - 

He shook his head hard and started to cough.

“Are you alright, man?” DJ Slam put a hand on his back.

Stepping back, he let his hand fall away before he turned to the DJ with a weak grin and brushed his curls away from his face. “Yeah, sorry about that. My throat just got really dry for some reason.” He coughed once more and looked down at the mixer trying to get his hormones under control.

He had to get his mind off Armie’s every gorgeous feature and wanted to get back to the reason he was standing up here in the first place - the music. He truly had been having a blast all night. While it wasn’t the same as playing piano, he really did have a knack with most of the DJ equipment he’d come across. 

As he’d told DJ Slam, it wasn’t his first time using a DJ mixer. He’d dabbled at DJing at some other parties. He’d never really been taught but had just picked up some things online. Timmy was great at mixing beats together and knowing how to match rhythms perfectly. Also, he was pretty good at knowing what would get everyone moving and grooving, like everyone was right now to the Cardi B song playing.

His mother Nicole liked to joke that Timmy learned to read music before anything else. It was his passion. It was one reason he loved parties so much. There was always music playing and he never felt awkward or out of place around music.

While he contemplated what to play next, he looked up and caught Armie staring at him. For a brief moment, he looked in about as much pain as Timmy had ever seen him - even more than when they were eleven and after a particularly savage day of bullying at school, Armie had climbed through Timmy’s window and ended up crying himself to sleep. It had been the first time he had ever seen Armie cry. 

Right now, Armie looked on the verge of tears.

When Armie noticed his gaze on him, he smiled but he wasn’t fooling Timmy - not someone who had studied Armie’s face and knew it like the back of his hand, not someone who knew Armie as well as he did. There might have been a smile on his face, but it didn’t reach those blue eyes. It was the look when he was trying to put on a brave face.

He didn’t know what was so painful to Armie to cause such a heartbreaking expression. He didn’t know if it was the same thing which seemed to be haunting him since he came back home this summer. Timmy had asked Armie if anything bad had happened on his college tour, but Armie insisted that everything was fine. 

But he didn’t believe him and neither did Saoirse. Thankfully, Saoirse had left it to him to try and get Armie to open up. If Saoirse had tried, she and Armie would have probably just ended up getting in one of their fights and he didn’t want that on top of whatever was going on with Armie. Timmy had backed off and waited for Armie to tell him in his own time.

It occurred to him that maybe what was eating at Armie was the same thing that had been weighing on Timmy’s mind for weeks now - well it weighed on him whenever he let himself think about it, which was not often. But he couldn’t completely block out thoughts about what was going to happen at the end of senior year. For the first time in their lives - Armie, Timmy, and Saoirse would be living far from each other. Who knew when they would - Timmy cut off his train of thought and squeezed his eyes shut. Even thinking about it briefly, he could feel his heart in his throat.

When he opened his eyes, he looked back at Armie. Maybe he couldn’t get Armie to tell him what was troubling him, but Timmy was determined to do what he could to make him feel better right now. At least that was something he knew how to do. He cleared his throat and grabbed the mike. 

“Hey, this next song goes out to my buddy Athos - the realest, most loyal guy anyone could ever know. You better get your ass on this dance floor and make some noise.” He dropped the mic with a huge triumphant grin as the sounds of Kendrick Lamar’s “DNA” soon filled the room.

Never taking his eyes off Armie, he was so relieved when a slow smile spread across Armie’s beautiful face. “DNA” was currently Armie’s favorite song. Something came over Armie whenever he listened to it and he turned into a dancing machine. 

Armie’s smile spread wider and wider and he started to bounce on the spot. 

Timmy felt tremendously giddy that he was able to do that. He thought he had been happy tonight, but it was nothing compared to how he felt right now. If it weren’t for the table in front of him, he’d start doing cartwheels. 

He removed the headphones around his neck and handed it to DJ Slam. “Thanks. It’s been fun. I’ll...uh...catch you later.” He nodded once before heading straight to Armie.

Actually, he danced his way over to Armie. Another reason he loved parties so much was that he _loved_ dancing. Armie has always said he was the best dancer in any room and Timmy had never agreed with it, but he could admit that Armie probably had a point. 

To match the rhythm of the song, he moved his head rapidly and used his hands as he bounced to the beat and started mouthing along to the slick rhymes being spat out.

Once he got to Armie, they both stopped briefly and started to laugh as they were both trying to repeat the song’s lyrics and were less than successful as they tripped over their words. But Timmy didn’t care and just shrugged as he kept rapping along. Armie laughed again and started dancing. Timmy kept bouncing, but slowed down and just watched Armie.

While Armie was very complimentary about Timmy’s dancing, he was his own harshest critic. He hated his own dancing and compared it to the death spasms of a fish out of water. It wasn’t an entirely inaccurate statement. 

His dancing wasn’t always the prettiest thing to watch - which was a miracle when it came to Armie - but it was always fun. He was the epitome of the adage “dance like no one’s watching.”

Armie might not always be graceful, but when he got into a song and started dancing he let loose, got out of his own head, and was completely free. For Timmy, it was the most joyful thing to watch.

As if the moment wasn’t great enough, Timmy was surprised and elated when Saoirse was suddenly by their sides and dancing her heart out. Saoirse was a better dancer than Armie, but not by much. Her moves were a little more demure. She was holding her red skirt and bopping along and had the biggest grin on her face.

When the ridiculously fast-paced last minute of the song started, they all really started flailing their arms around and matching each other’s moves. Once the song stopped, all three collapsed against each other in laughter.

This was the best moment for Timmy of the summer by far. He knew it was one of those moments he would always remember. Armie and Saoirse were two of the most important people in his life and as he tried to catch his breath and looked at the two of them, he knew that no matter what happened at the end of this year, they were going to get through it together. They would be alright.

They just had to be.


	2. Speeches & Sex Dungeons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armie finds himself thrust into the spotlight. Saoirse sees things she can't unsee and hears things she'd rather not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Didn't mean to take so long to post the next chapter. When I started this next chapter it just got massively long. I ended up having to cut it. Good news is because of that, I'll be able to post the next chapter quickly within the next few days.
> 
> Thanks so much to those who commented on the first chapter and left kudos. Your words were very encouraging! :)
> 
> Thanks again to shimmeringstarss for looking this over for me!
> 
> Warning - mentions of underage sex.

Once his laughter finally started to die down, Armie wiped his eyes and gazed at Timmy and smiled with gratitude. Once again, Timmy had lifted up his spirits in a way that only he could. 

As he caught his breath, Timmy stroked his hand across his upper chest and neck and Armie became transfixed, as he often did, by the cute freckles on Timmy’s neck. When he finally tore himself away from that sight, he caught Timmy watching him with a bemused expression. 

Embarrassed at being caught ogling him, Armie was about to say something when the sound of microphone feedback cut him off causing them all to wince.

They turned their attention to the front of the room and spotted Ansel staring out at all of them. He seemed uncharacteristically nervous as he kept swallowing and had a death grip on the microphone.

“I hope everyone’s been having an amazing time tonight,” Ansel said, his mouth way too close to the microphone. 

He was breathing so hard it sounded like Darth Vader up there. Thankfully, he noticed his mistake and held it farther away from him as he gave a weak smile.

Armie turned towards Saoirse who was just looking up there as she bit her lip and hugged her arms around her waist. 

There were a few weak claps scattered throughout the crowd so thankfully the awkward silence didn’t continue to stretch out.

“Uh...I just want everyone to continue to enjoy themselves and take advantage of the free booze on hand and if you haven’t already you can check out the movie marathon going on in my home theater upstairs or enjoy the indoor or outdoor pools.” His left hand gripped the edge of his yellow suit jacket and he cleared his throat. “I just want us all to enjoy this time before school starts on Tuesday. And on that note, since we’re about to embark on such an important milestone in our lives, I thought it would be good if someone came up here and said a few words.” He flashed a brief smile.

There were some cheers.

Someone shouted something which Armie couldn’t quite make out, but Ansel seemed to hear it and tensed up for a second. 

“I think it’s important we get the year started on the right foot,” Ansel continued.

“Yeah! It’s time for a good ol’ Hammer speech!” Ashton Ramsey, a friend and teammate of Armie’s, shouted at the top of his lungs.

Armie rolled his eyes heavenward. _Fucking hell! Here it comes._

Ashton and a couple of other members of the team stood up on chairs. “You know what time it is! It’s Hammer time!”

For the first time tonight, all eyes were now focused on Armie and if he didn’t know any better, he would have thought a spotlight was shining on him.

More and more people started chanting, “It’s Hammer Time!”

Though he was truly caught off guard, Armie realized this turn of events should not have come as much of a surprise. Speeches had become something Armie was known for throughout his years at school.

It had started during freshman year. Their football team, The Yellow Jackets, had been losing their Homecoming game 28-3. Instead of trying to motivate the team with encouraging words or an actual game plan, Coach Perry had berated them for being losers - or more precisely “talentless pricks who didn’t have the balls to win a match against a bunch of fucking preschoolers.” 

Unfortunately, that kind of abuse was par for the course with him and one of the many reasons Armie was incredibly grateful when he was fired at the end of that season.

Needless to say, the coach’s words didn’t sit right with him. When he looked around at his teammates he hated the demoralized looks on all of their faces, especially on his brother’s. He felt compelled to do something. 

After the coach stormed out, he waited a second before he marched to the front where the coach had his little tantrum. The first thing out of his mouth was that the Coach was a dumbass. Everyone’s heads swiveled towards him and many were looking at him with wide eyes - some with widening grins. 

He proceeded to tell them that he was proud of everything they’d done all year as part of such a kick-ass team and then reminded each one of them of their individual achievements that year. As he slowly looked around and made eye contact, he said at that moment they were down, but they could still turn things around by changing things up and getting their hearts as well as their heads in the game. 

To finish up, he emphasized that this was their home and “they weren’t going to let any motherfuckers come here and treat us like a bunch of pussies. Now, we’re going to go out there and show Coach Dumbass and the Panthers whose house this is. Are you with me?” He lifted up his helmet.

Viktor grinned up at him. “Fuck, yeah, we’re with you! Aren’t we?” He put his helmet in the air to join Armie’s.

Soon everyone else had lifted their helmets up as well. Everyone cried out, “Fuck yeah!”

While his speech was light on specifics, it was full of emotion and seemed to do the trick. They ended up winning the game 41-28. He had tried to downplay the effect his words had on the outcome, but everyone else credited him with the win. 

From then on, whenever the team needed a good pep talk - whether it was during practice or during a game - they all turned to Armie. It didn’t even matter that sometimes he just wholesale stole things from movies like _Friday Night Lights_ , _Major League_ , _Varsity Blues_ and others. It always seemed to help.

At some point - he thinks it was during his sophomore year - they started calling it Hammer Time. Eventually, it became a chant at pep rallies as well, where he would usually give the final speech.

Because of that, his willingness to always be a leader, and his skills on the field as a sophomore Armie became the youngest team captain in his school’s history. 

Right now, the “Hammer Time” cries were growing louder, including his teammates who weren’t chanting on top of chairs, stomping on the ground. He put his head in his hands briefly and then turned to Timmy, who just shrugged with a proud grin. He didn’t seem surprised by this at all.

But when Armie looked at Saoirse, her expression was much different. She was glaring at him and subtly shaking her head. “Don’t do it.” 

His brow furrowed as he tried to figure out why she seemed angry with him until she nodded her head toward the front. When Armie glanced over there, he took note of Ansel. He was frowning as he shuffled from foot to foot and shooting venomous glares towards his teammates.

Armie realized this was probably supposed to be Ansel’s big moment, which made sense since it was his party after all but he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do when everyone kept chanting his name. 

Finally, Ansel cleared his throat, held the microphone up, and waved a hand in the air to get everyone’s attention. “Okay, okay, people calm down!” It took another few seconds for everyone to get quiet. When they finally did, Ansel swallowed thickly and painted on a smile, “You’re right! This does seem like the perfect time for a Hammer speech.”

Armie waited for the “but.”

Instead, Ansel held out the microphone towards him. “So, what do you say King Hammer, are you up for it?” his eyes narrowing as he stared at Armie.

Looking between Ansel and Saoirse, who was biting her lip and staring at Ansel as if someone had just killed his puppy, Armie froze. Despite his reputation, he was not prepared for this. He wasn’t sure he had it in him tonight to give the kind of speech he knew everyone wanted and expected.

The decision was taken out of his hands when out of the corner of his eye, he saw a blur of blue and he was suddenly being pushed towards the front. He peered behind him and saw Elizabeth, in her blue strapless jumpsuit, pushing him towards Ansel. Liz did most of the work as it took him until they were halfway up before he came out of his fog and started walking on his own.

Sometimes it surprised him how strong Elizabeth was. Then again, maybe it really shouldn’t. It was like that phenomenon when mothers found the strength to lift cars off their kids - Liz could find that kind of strength whenever the possibility of being in the spotlight arose.

Once they were up front, Liz swung her ponytail, smiled with an open-mouthed grin, and with barely a glance at him, ripped the microphone from Ansel’s hands. “Okay, ladies and gentlemen, please give it up for your homecoming king, captain of the football team, and most importantly the most devoted boyfriend ever, Mr. Armie Hammer!”

This should have been the moment that Liz handed the microphone over to him, but she barreled on.

“Oh, and I’m sure a lot of you have heard the news already, but I want to officially announce that Armie has already gotten an offer to attend Texas A&M next fall!” She squealed and clapped and everyone else joined her in cheering.

Armie tried to smile as genuinely as possible. He knew he was incredibly lucky to already have been accepted into college. After leading their team to an almost undefeated season the previous year (the only game they lost was a game Armie was forced to sit out after coming down with the flu and having a 105-degree fever) most of his summer was spent visiting colleges eager to recruit him, though there was only one school, in particular, his parents had their sights set on - Texas A&M. When Armie officially got the offer from them, it was the happiest he’d seen his parents since before Vik left.

When the applause died down, Liz thrust the microphone in his face. He blinked at her before taking it. Smiling briefly at everyone, he stared at the ground as he scuffed his boot on the floor and tried to think of what to say.

Still, at a loss, he peeked up and caught Timmy’s eye. Looking into those beautiful, magnetic green eyes usually had a calming effect on him. It seemed Timmy could sense his nerves and Timmy winked at him and mouthed “you got this.” 

It worked immediately. 

He stood up straighter and was about to say something when he spotted Ansel out of the corner of his eye. When he glanced at him, he wasn’t sure if he imagined it but thought he saw Ansel’s chin quivering. For the most part, he felt sorry for Ansel. He’d gone all out for this party and the moment should be his. 

And yet, there was a smaller part of him - a part he wasn’t necessarily proud of - that enjoyed Ansel being taken down a peg. It was the younger kid inside of him. The kid who Ansel had mercilessly teased. No matter how often he told himself he was over it - that he and Ansel were friends now and it was all water under the bridge - moments like these made him realize that he hadn’t fully healed.

When he gazed out into the crowd and saw Saoirse’s heart practically bleeding for Ansel the twelve-year-old Armie’s glee vanished. 

Stepping closer to him, Armie put his hand on Ansel’s shoulder. “First of all, we really need to give some big fucking thanks to this awesome dude for hosting such a kick-ass party in the coolest house I’ve ever had the pleasure to step foot in.”

The applause was far more generous than it had been previously. Ansel seemed pleased and the corner of his mouth twitched up.

“Seriously, dude, this house is so fucking huge you might officially be a Kardashian now.” Ansel laughed. “You have to work on that ass, though.” 

This time Ansel snorted loudly and doubled over. He recovered and when he straightened up he even did a little twirl.

When Armie looked out and saw that Saoirse was beaming and clapping, he felt like he’d done something good and maybe he did have it in him to deliver a halfway decent speech. 

He blew out a breath and switched gears. He decided the best way to start was telling the truth. “Some of you may have noticed that I have not been in as much of a mood to party as I usually am. I’ve just been doing a lot of thinking about the things our parents have been telling us - how this is going to be the most important year of our lives.”

His mind briefly flashed to various lectures his parents had given him over the years. He had to close his eyes briefly to get their looming faces and demanding glares out of his head and opening his eyes, he glanced at Timmy again. 

“I always thought my parents were full of shit, but the closer we get to the beginning of the year, the more I realize...they were completely fucking right.” His tone was deadly serious.

The room was completely silent now and you could have heard a pin drop. He scanned the crowd and smiles were now dropping. 

“Our whole future rides on what we do this year and the decisions we make. It says in the Bible,” Armie didn’t miss a few audible gasps when he actually used the “b” word, “‘When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.’ It’s time for us to seriously buckle down and put away childish things.”

Once again he looked out over the sea of now slack-jawed faces. A lot of kids had a look in their eyes that Armie knew all too well staring back at him every morning in the mirror. Even Saoirse appeared as if she had just gotten kicked in the stomach. 

The only person who didn’t seem like they wanted him to stop talking was Timmy. He just had an expectant look on his face, like he’s waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Armie didn’t keep him waiting too much longer. He began to snicker. “Wow! Relax your sphincters guys, I was just fucking with you!” No one had begun to visibly relax just yet. “Man, senior prank week is going to be so fucking fun.” He started to chuckle to hopefully set everyone at ease. 

It started to work and there weren’t as many clenched jaws and worried expressions. Now, it was time to lighten the mood.

“Look, we have spent the last three years busting our asses to get the right grades so we can get into the right schools our parents want us to.” He pursed his lips. “Okay, so some of us have spent most of our time being the weed connection. Looking at you, Niki Wonder!” Armie smirked over at him.

His real name was Nick Delli Santi and he was a good friend of Armie’s since middle school. True to form, Nick actually had a joint in his mouth at that moment. He took it out and blew out a long puff of smoke in Armie’s direction and there was a lot of joyful shouting and whistling.

Armie threw his head back and roared with laughter. “No, it’s a perfectly valid life choice which many of us - I won’t name names - are really grateful for.” He pointed at Nick. “It just goes to show that Nick knows how to have fun and that’s what we all need to be doing this year! Not necessarily smoking pot - though again perfectly valid life choice - but we all need to have some fun this year! Because, yes, this is one of the most important years of our lives but it is also supposed to be - and should be - the best time of our lives! And, if anyone tells you that we shouldn’t be having fun, I say fuck them!”

“Hell yeah!” Ashton and several of the other football players yelled and everyone else whooped and clapped thunderously.

The response emboldened Armie and he got even louder. “Fuck that! Party your asses off and get as high as you want!”

“Way ahead of you, brother!” Nick called out.

Armie let out a deep belly laugh. He gave Nick a thumbs up. “I guess what I’m saying is be like Nick! Let’s have the best year ever!” He pumped his fist in the air.

The reaction was immediate - most in the crowd repeated Armie’s gesture while others raised their glasses. “The best year ever!” everyone chanted in unison.

While everyone broke out in more cheers, he grinned broadly and looked over to where Saoirse and Timmy were. Saoirse had her fingers in her mouth and was whistling. Timmy shook his head briefly but looked up at Armie fondly. With those two responses, Armie felt like it was a job well done.

After finishing, he was hoping to finally make his way over to his two friends and actually have a conversation with them but he should have realized that wasn’t going to happen any time soon. Immediately after he put the microphone down and took a step forward, a crowd formed around him. Most of the kids congratulated him on the speech, his acceptance into Texas A&M, or both. While he was grateful for the kind words, he was still impatient to leave. 

As the crowd began to thin, Armie thought he might have a shot of making a break for it, but Liz grabbed him and made him take a few selfies with her. He put on his best practiced Instagram smile and indulged her. 

He thought she might want to have a conversation, but as soon as she was done with the selfies she turned her back to him so she could update her “fans.”

Sometimes he liked to make fun of the idea of Liz having “fans” but she did have two thousand followers on Instagram and he guessed that must be a lot. While Armie had several social media accounts, paying attention to that stuff wasn’t important to him at all - certainly not like it was to Liz.

It was one of the many things they didn’t have in common and there were times, especially lately, that he wondered why he was still with her since so much of what she did either frustrated or annoyed him. 

Although, they did have a few things in common. Her parents were also from Texas and very religious. While she wasn’t what you would call streetsmart, Liz got excellent grades in school, was athletic and sometimes more into sports than he was. On the shallow side, she was incredibly attractive. 

While she had other career ambitions, Liz hoped she could parlay social media fame into having a modeling career and she did have a few local print ads under her belt.

But the biggest thing keeping them together was that Liz got along famously with his parents, unlike every other girl he had dated. His parents had always considered other girls he had been with beneath him, but not Liz. She had charmed them instantly and it probably helped that her parents were loaded and ran in some very high circles in town. 

Sometimes, he thought his parents wanted to be the ones dating her. It was nice to have one area of his life where his parents didn’t question his choices and for them to be supportive.

Because of that, he convinced himself that the relationship was worth it. At one point, he thought maybe he could love her. But then there was Timmy. The more he realized how deep his feelings for Timmy ran, the more he knew what he and Liz had couldn’t compare on any level. 

Sighing, he looked up at the last place he had seen Timmy, but neither he nor Saoirse was there. Fortunately, his Timmy homing beacon was still working and he spotted him far away across the room by the glass doors leading to the patio. Timmy was talking to his friend from drama class, Lucas Hedges.

Moving away from Liz, he walked with purpose to get to Timmy. Whenever anyone looked in his direction, Armie looked down and pretended he didn’t notice. Usually, he hated being that rude but his mission was to get to Timmy. It was a little unsettling how desperate he was to spend time with him. They had last spoken two hours ago, but to Armie, it might as well have been two years.

He was halfway there, maybe five steps - or with his giant strides two steps - away when Nick blocked his path. He had to clench his jaw tightly to keep from screaming “fuck” at the top of his lungs. If he didn’t like Nick so much, he might have torn his head off but since Nick was a cool guy, Armie inhaled deeply. 

“How you doing, man?” He said cheerfully.

“Living the dream, dude.” Nick crossed his arms over his black t-shirt and grinned.

From anyone else, the response would have come off as sarcastic or lame, but from Nick, it sounded chill as hell and completely genuine. 

Nick put his hand on his shoulder. “I guess...congratulations are in order.” It sounded more like a question than a statement. He was the first person that night not to sound thrilled for Armie.

Shrugging, he displayed his best “I’m on top of the world” grin. “Yeah. It’s a dream come true.”

Without missing a beat, Nick replied, “For your parents, maybe.” 

It was said without malice, just simple and direct and came from someone very familiar with Armie’s situation. In many ways, Nick’s life was exactly the same as Armie’s - with one major difference, Nick didn’t put up with his parent’s bullshit. 

Nick’s parents were best friends with Armie’s parents. Like Michael Hammer, Nick’s father - Nick, Senior - came from old money and both of Nick’s parents were ultra-conservative and lived for the church. They had all kinds of plans and expectations for Nick, but he didn’t care. He lived to push back against his parents.

He dealt pot. He partied hard. Nick dated girls his parents would consider “low class” (they considered low class to be any girl whose parents didn’t make - or inherit - seven figures.) Like Armie’s parents, Nick’s parents made threats they actually followed through on. They didn’t kick him out of the house, but they cut him off financially. 

Unfortunately for them, that was the exact wrong move and it backfired on them spectacularly. It made Nick stick to his guns even harder. It also made him devote himself to his pot dealings which paid off. His business was thriving so well that Nick could probably skip college if he wanted to, at least for a little while. It was one of many avenues he could go down. 

It's not like Armie wanted the exact life Nick had and in a lot of ways he thought to rebel so hard against your parents was probably as exhausting as giving in to them all the time, but he envied Nick so much. He would give anything to actually have choices.

Turning his attention back to Nick, he nodded. “To say they were thrilled is putting it lightly. They actually talked about taking out a billboard to announce the news.” 

He wasn’t kidding. Ultimately, his dad had talked his mom out of the idea because he thought it would be too tacky. 

Nick shook his head. “Sounds like them.” He cocked his head to the side and scrutinized Armie. “Are you happy?”

Armie shuffled from foot to foot as he stared at the ground. “I don’t know, man.” He scrubbed a hand down his face and looked up with a half shrug. “Let’s just say that I am happy that I don’t have to worry about getting into college, at least that’s one less thing to stress about.”

“True.” Nick clapped him on his arm. “I hope that it means that you can actually take your own advice, make this year the best year of your life and have some fun.”

He smiled so wide his cheeks hurt. “Come on, dude. I’m always the life of the party!”

“It always looks that way, doesn’t it?” Nick frowned. “I hope one of these days it might actually be true.” 

Nick gave him a brief one-armed hug, patting his back, and then he walked away. 

Armie watched him go. He blew up a breath at the ceiling. “Yeah, I hope so, too,” he whispered mournfully.

~*~

Saoirse groaned in frustration. She was so annoyed and was incredibly close to stomping her foot like a two-year-old. Once again, Ansel had disappeared on her. 

When Armie had finished his speech, she saw that Ansel was still standing up there next to him. Unlike everyone else, he wasn’t smiling, just standing there stiffly. Briefly, she turned her attention to Armie to clap for him and when she turned her focus to where Ansel had just been he was gone. 

As she scanned everyone’s faces up front she couldn’t see him anywhere and didn’t know how he could have disappeared so fast. She checked the whole ballroom but he was nowhere to be seen.

At least this time, she did the smart thing and started looking for him in his room, but he wasn’t there. Pinching the bridge of her nose, she swore that when she found him this time she would put a bell around his neck or shove a tracking device up his ass. 

Making her way through the hall, she decided to check out the home theater. It was the one place in Ansel’s mansion that she liked. It was the only room - at least of the rooms she had seen - that popped with any real color. Almost everything in the theater was blood red including the ultra plush red couches in the room and there were no uncomfortable typical theater seats - another thing Saoirse loved about it. 

When she saw that the movie playing right now was one of her favorites - _Sixteen Candles_ \- she was almost tempted to sink down into one of the couches, but she remembered what - or rather who - she was looking for and left.

Thinking about how stressed Ansel had been during Armie’s speech, she wondered if he had decided to stop by the spa and massage rooms. After she arrived downstairs, she didn’t bother knocking and opened the first door she saw and immediately gasped, shut the door, and closed her eyes tightly. That was definitely not what those massage tables were for! It looked like something out of _The Human Centipede_. She attempted to will the image away but it refused to fade for a few seconds.

It was only a brief glimpse - and everyone’s mouths seemed to be occupied - but she was fairly sure Ansel wasn’t in that room, but if he was, God help him if she found out about it. She’d have to kick him in the balls and seriously examine her life choices but opening the door and looking again was not an option, so she moved on.

Apparently, this must have been the designated hook-up area. She encountered two more couples in the middle of acts that made her feel really sorry for the clean-up Patricia - the Elgort’s maid - would have to do. 

When she found a fourth couple getting freaky she seriously started to wonder if there was some sign she missed labeling this area hook-up central. Ansel was going all out for this party, after all.

There’s only one more room and it was mercifully empty. 

She was heading up the stairs when she runs into Ashton with a redhead on his arm. Of course, she recognized him, but the girl not so much. It’s possible they go to school together and they had just never met. Her social circle wasn’t very wide but knowing Ashton, it was possible that she was an escort he kept on retainer. 

“Hi, Ashton. Hi…” Saoirse trailed off. She didn’t want to embarrass the girl in case she knew her but still couldn’t place her. “...You,” she finished lamely and winced.

If the girl picked up on any awkwardness, she didn’t say anything, only giggled. Instead of supplying her name or anything else, she just looked at Ashton then back at Saoirse and giggled again. This girl was either seriously high, very weird, or quite possibly both. 

Deciding to put on her hostess hat, she gave the biggest smile she could muster. “So, are you two enjoying yourselves, tonight?”

Ashton grinned. “100% percent. And, it’s about to get even better for ol' Smashtown, if you know what I mean.” He winked and clicked his tongue.

Just one of those things would have been douchey enough, but he never went halfway went it came to douchey behavior. 

She thought she should be given a medal for managing to valiantly fight off an eye roll. “Right. I can’t believe I missed the sign by the door that said ‘this way to the sex dungeon.’”

The girl touched her arm. “Don’t worry. I didn’t see the sign, either.”

Saoirse just blinked at her. If she was high, it must have been some really good stuff.

“So, where are the other two Musketeers?” Ashton asked.

“I don’t know,” she shrugged. “Last I saw they were both in the ballroom. By now, they’re probably enjoying some bro time alone - without me.” She hoped she kept any bitterness out of her voice.

“You should invite them both down here,” he said with a too-wide grin.

“Why? It’s not like they could get a massage right now. Everyone’s just having sex down here.”

“Right.” Ashton nodded. 

As she stared at him for another second, her brow furrowed.

He slowly held up three fingers. “I’m talking threesome.”

Her head snapped back and her whole face contorted in disgust. “Gross! They’re like my brothers.”

“The operative word there is ‘like.’” He waggled his eyebrows.

Setting aside her shock that Ashton knew how to use the word “operative” properly, she glared at him. She was on the verge of telling him to “fuck off” but she realized that was not what a good hostess would do. She mentally counted to five and then responded.

“Fuck off!” She stepped around Ashton and his date before she quickly turned back. “But do enjoy yourself down here.” There that was a little better, hopefully.

Saoirse stalked upstairs. She wasn’t really sure why she was so annoyed. It wasn’t the first time anyone had hinted at something sexual going on between the three of them. It was as if some people had trouble wrapping their minds around not just one guy - but two guys! - and a girl being that close and it just being platonic. 

A lot of people assumed they were lying or that she was a lesbian. People never questioned Armie or Timmy’s sexuality, just hers. It was as if the only possible way she wouldn’t want to jump either of their bones was if she were gay.

In a way, she understood. She had functioning eyeballs after all and knew Armie and Timmy were beyond gorgeous, but she had truly never had a sexual fantasy about either of them and was pretty sure that was never going to change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspiration for Ansel's house - https://www.luxury-architecture.net/grand-french-chateau-style-mega-mansion-in-beverly-hills/
> 
> Saoirse's dress - https://www.freepeople.com/shop/lille-printed-maxi-dress/?color=061&quantity=1&type=REGULAR
> 
>  
> 
> @filmgeekstacey on Tumblr


	3. All for Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashbacks tell the tale of the different paths Saoirse and Timmy took to falling in love. Ansel and Saoirse have a huge fight about Armie. Timmy and Armie finally get some quality time together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried cutting this chapter as much as possible, but it's still very long! A lot of important backstory information.
> 
> Hope you enjoy it and please let me know what you think in the comments.
> 
> Thanks again to shimmeringstarss for her beta help.

Just as Saoirse made it upstairs, she literally bumped into Ansel. Without thinking twice, she swatted his arm. “Where the hell have you been? You can’t keep disappearing like that.”

Ansel rolled his eyes. “What do you care? The last I saw you, you were too busy cheering on your best friend to even think about me.” He whirled around and stalked off.

“Are you kidding me?” She fumed as she chased after him. When she caught up to him by the winding staircase in the foyer she stepped in front of him. “Of course I was thinking about you.”

“Not from where I was standing. You were smiling up at him and clapping like everyone else. Everyone was so happy that the great Armie freaking Hammer graced them with his words of wisdom. Never mind that the speech was _my_ idea. This is _my_ party. This is _my_ house and you’re _my_ girlfriend.”

She put her face in her hands and growled. “Ugh! Of course, I was clapping for him! He’s _my_ friend.” She made sure to say “my” with as much mocking scorn as she could muster. “That doesn’t mean I wasn’t thinking about you, I know that moment meant a lot to you and I’m sorry you didn’t get to have it.”

Some of the fight seemed to leave Ansel and his shoulders sagged. He ran a hand across the back of his neck and peered up at her. “Thanks.” He nodded in the direction of the spa. “What were you doing down there?”

Saoirse’s eyes widened. “I’m not sure if you want to know but there are a lot of people down there...entertaining themselves.” That was about as delicately as she knew how to put it.

Ansel blew out a breath. “Great! So there are people fucking in the massage rooms. I guess better there than any of the bedrooms upstairs.”

At least he was taking that well. She snickered. “I just ran into Ashton-”

“That stupid fucker!” Ansel cut her off. “If it weren’t for him no one would have been asking for Armie and I would have gotten to give my speech.”

Saoirse clenched her hands into fists and shook them. My God, he was back to that. At this point, she never wanted to hear the word speech again in her life and she had been hoping that he had started to put his anger aside.

Still grumbling, Ansel turned and took the steps two at a time. She had to run to catch up with him. On her way up, she had to quickly sweep her skirt aside when some blur of a guy reeking of Axe body spray ran past her and almost stepped on it again. By the time she got to Ansel’s room, he was pacing.

“...and that stupid fucking chant. ‘Hammer time.’” His lip curled in disgust. “It’s so fucking lame at this point! And fucking Armie just relishes it every time. He’s so desperate to be in the spotlight probably to make up for what a loser he was in middle school. That fat fuck!”

It felt like there were flames on the side of her face. Being upset was one thing, but being an enormous, invective-spewing asshole was another. It was ugly and it reminded her of everything she had hated about Ansel when they were younger. 

If you had told ten, eleven, or twelve-year-old Saoirse she would fall in love with Ansel Elgort she would have told you to keep dreaming. The idea of being with someone who was a snob and a bully and who had constantly belittled two of her friends would never have crossed her mind. 

But things changed drastically right before the end of eighth grade. It was kind of like something out of the romance movies Saoirse adored.

Ansel and his friends were being particularly vicious to Timmy and when Armie stepped up to defend him they started to attack him ten times worse. Saoirse had enough and got in their faces - especially Ansel’s since he was the most popular and the ringleader of his crew - and started pushing him and told him to pick on her if he was man enough.

Unfortunately, their teacher Mr.Harris walked up right at that moment, and Saoirse and Ansel were the only two that got in trouble. They had to go to detention after school. Instead of sitting as far away from Ansel as possible she had sat right next to him and they had passed disparaging notes to each other back and forth.

After getting in trouble, it would seem likely that Ansel and his friends would stop the bullying, but they ramped it up instead. So, she kept getting in their faces and she and Ansel ended up in detention two more times that week. Their parents were being notified and if they got in trouble one more time, they would have ended up being suspended.

At the end of their last day of detention, instead of a note calling her a “pasty hag” or an “Irish freak,” the note he gave her had said, “I hate how pretty you are.” Saoirse had blinked down at the note and kept waiting for the words to change or to make sense and when she had turned towards Ansel, he was glowering down at his desk as if it had offended him somehow. He refused to look in her direction, but she could tell that his cheeks were really pink. She wanted to ask him what the hell the note was about, but Mr.Feldman announced the end of detention and Ansel was out of the class so fast he looked like a blur. 

All night, she couldn’t get the note out of her head. It had to be a trick of some sort. Ansel must have gotten tired of the insults and was trying to freak her out by complimenting her or trying to trick her and make her think he liked her only to turn around and humiliate her. That had to be it. She definitely wouldn’t put it past someone like him.

But this one thought kept nagging at her... just what if he meant it? It really shouldn't have mattered. Ansel was a jerk. So what if he thought she was pretty? 

Even though she tried to keep telling herself it didn’t matter, it didn’t entirely sink in. All of her life, the only people who had ever called her pretty were her parents. Even Armie and Timmy had never called her that. If someone popular and, jerkiness aside, cute like Ansel thought she was pretty…

She had stuffed those kinds of thoughts down. No matter if he meant it or not, she couldn’t care about the opinion of someone who would hurt her friends the way Ansel always did. All weekend, whenever she would think about that note or her thoughts about Ansel softened even slightly she would remember all of the horrible names he had called Armie, Timmy, and her.

The next time she was at school she ignored Ansel and he ignored her - until the end of the day. She was waiting for the bus home trying to get “Fancy” out of her head when she felt someone walk behind her and out of the corner of her eye, she saw something white land near her feet. When she looked down, she saw it was a folded up piece of notebook paper. 

She whipped her head up so fast she almost hurt herself and saw Ansel walking a few feet in front of her. He turned once to look at her with an anxious expression on his face.

Slowly, she unfolded the note and it read “I meant what I wrote on Friday. I’m sorry for being a jerk.” Her hands shook as she read it over and over again. Finally, when she looked up again, she saw Ansel getting in his father’s Cadillac. When the car drove past her, Ansel peeked out at her and smiled and for a second, she considered smiling back but then Timmy joined her and she hastily stuffed the note in her pocket.

Despite what the second note had said, she refused to consider it. She still believed it was a trick. Ansel tried to talk to her at lunch the next day but she told him to leave her alone and that she didn’t believe him. But Ansel was persistent and somehow kept leaving notes in her locker. Some of the notes just said again how pretty she was and some said that he wanted to be her friend. 

The most surprising note came on the last day of the week. It included quotes from movies she loved - and had talked about at school - like _Bridesmaids_. It was the quote he included from _The Breakfast Club_ that had moved her the most - “We're all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it, that's all.”

To know that he remembered the things she liked and cared enough to quote it back to her made her feel light-headed. For a brief moment, she let down her guard and just smiled. It was kind of nice to feel like she had an admirer and to have someone really working for her affection. But then reality set in again, and she just wanted it to stop. 

She left a note in his locker to meet her in the library during lunch. Once he got there, she dragged him to a secluded area in the back where the non-fiction books were. After clearing up Ansel’s assumption that she brought him there to make-out, she told him to leave her alone.

Instead of just agreeing to what she asked, Ansel kept pressing her on it, arrogantly insisting there was no reason they couldn’t at least be friends. 

Finally, she blew up at him.

“You really are an arrogant wanker, aren’t you?” Saoirse scoffed, looking around to make sure no one heard her as her voice was getting more strident. She lowered her voice. “Why not? How about the fact that you literally spit on my friend Armie? Or that you called my friend Timmy a fag and pushed him because he got the role in the school play you wanted? Or that when Paul Jeffries said I should go back to Ireland because no boy would ever want to kiss me, they’d be too busy laughing at how stupid my accent made me sound you laughed right along with him and the rest of your stupid friends. I could go on.”

The comments about her accent had been vicious from the start when her family moved to the US when she was eight. It made her ashamed to speak and she’d developed a stutter for a while. She’d worked overtime to lose her accent which she’d been successful at. It still came out when she was angry.

To his credit, Ansel had looked ashamed. “I already said that I was a jerk and that I was sorry.”

Rolling her eyes, she let out a mirthless chuckle. “You said you were sorry, _once_ , to me...in a note. Do you think that makes up for everything? Where’s your apology to Armie and Timmy?”

“I…” He trailed off, running one hand through his shaggy, dirty blonde hair.

“You don’t want to apologize to them. The only reason you apologized to me is that you want to date me.” She shook her head and cast a withering glare at him. “I take it back. You don’t want to date me. You want to make-out with the poor, Irish girl and get it out of your system before you can date someone better. Well, I’m not interested. Leave. Me. Alone.” Taking out the last note he had written her, she tore it up and dropped the ripped pieces at his feet.

For a while, she thought that would be the last she heard from him. She’d never told Armie or Timmy about Ansel’s notes and she had destroyed all but one of them - the first one he’d given her - and tried to put it out of her mind, and mostly succeeded. Then came their eighth-grade graduation ceremony.

Ansel was valedictorian and was going to give a speech. She tried not to pay attention to it. Her and Armie and Timmy made jokes amongst themselves while it was going on. But then Ansel started talking about being a bully. Armie and Timmy’s eyes had gone wide and she was just as stunned as they were. 

At the end of his speech, Ansel apologized by name - not just to Armie and Timmy but to many of the other kids he’d bullied - and promised to do better. As Ansel walked back into the crowd, his eyes locked with hers and she knew she was in trouble. Her heart was racing and she couldn’t help the huge grin that broke out on her face. 

Considering what happened tonight, she almost had to laugh. It was a speech that truly had made her fall for Ansel the first time. 

Not that it was smooth sailing for them after his speech. She was still skeptical that Ansel could change. Another thing that really worried her was how Timmy and Armie would react if she thought about dating Ansel. At first, it seemed like it would be hard to explore even becoming friends with Ansel because he went away with his parents that summer. 

But they solved that problem when they exchanged phone numbers and email addresses. Saoirse didn’t know what to expect but they ended up exchanging emails every night. They talked about everything and nothing - their families, their friends, their favorite movies, their fears and excitement about high school.

After a couple of weeks, she worked up the courage to ask him what it was about her that he liked. His answer surprised her. He said that he liked how she stood up to him. It drove him crazy and it made him lash out even more, but then he really started to admire how brave she was. The fact that she went to bat for her friend and was so fiercely loyal was the part he liked the most and he admitted no one cared about him like that. 

Once he made that admission to her, she truly saw the great person he could be and how the way he behaved wasn’t entirely his fault and she knew she wanted to make it work with him, which meant telling her friends about it.

She kept putting off telling Timmy. Her excuse was that Timmy was already sad. Not only didn’t Armie and Timmy’s family go away together during the summer for the first time in years, but Armie’s family took him to spend the summer in Texas with his grandparents. It was the first significant period of time Armie and Timmy had spent apart. 

Saoirse wanted to spend the summer cheering Timmy up, not making him feel worse. 

But about six weeks into the summer, Timmy had seen the goofy smile on her face after reading one of Ansel’s e-mails and she hated the thought of lying to him so she admitted what was going on. While Timmy wasn’t exactly doing cartwheels over this news, to his credit he handled it really well and knowing Timmy, she realized she shouldn’t have been surprised. 

He told her that he would probably never like Ansel, but that he trusted her judgment and if she thought that Ansel was really changing then he would trust that, too. He just wanted her to be happy and if she was then he would accept her decision. 

Unfortunately, Armie’s reaction was quite different. After he got home, she waited a couple of days to tell him. Despite his whole new look - which Saoirse was still trying to get used to - the hurt look in his eyes looked exactly the same. He did give her the chance to explain - or ramble - about how much Ansel had changed, while he said nothing. 

After she was done, he just asked if dating Ansel was what she really wanted and when she said “yes” the silence was deafening. She had expected a lot of things from him. She thought he might yell or scream at her that she was betraying him. She had even thought he might cry. But what he had ended up doing hurt a lot worse - he had gotten up and left and didn’t talk to her for over a week.

For a while, she had tried to give him his space because she did understand why he wouldn’t be happy about this and didn’t want to push things. Of course, Timmy offered to play peacemaker but she didn’t want to put him in the middle. But he did it anyway. 

Timmy explained that Armie didn’t buy Ansel’s sudden transformation and - it was a struggle to get Timmy to spit this part out - that Armie thought she was being naive to believe him.

To her and Timmy’s surprise, she was able to handle Armie basically calling her stupid for believing him. But when Timmy continued and said that Armie felt like she was choosing Ansel over him and Timmy, her patience was gone. Even though it was almost 8 p.m and Timmy had told her it was a bad idea, she walked the three blocks to Armie’s house.

She was incredibly grateful when Armie answered the door instead of either of his parents, with the mood she was in, she probably wouldn't have been able to hold back in telling them what she really thought of them.

“Your room. Now.” Without waiting for his response, she marched up to his room.

Despite her walk there being powered by her anger, now that she was there her head full of steam mostly evaporated. She also really needed some water. 

“Shouldn’t you be planning your new boyfriend’s homecoming? A perfect guy like that only deserves the best.” Armie said his voice dripping in so much sarcasm it was practically all over the floor.

Instantly, Saoirse’s anger returned and without thinking she pushed him. “You idiot!”

Armie just stared at her and she at him. As she looked him up and down she remembered that for the first time in their lives he was taller - much taller - than her now. It’s not like she was worried about him physically hurting her - he wouldn’t in a million years - but pushing him around probably wasn’t the greatest idea.

She recovered faster than he did and she clenched her fists by her sides. “You’re not only taller and thinner, but you must be dumber as well if you think I’m choosing Ansel over you or Timmy.”

“You know how I feel about him - the things he’s done to me. For God’s sake, the things he’s done to Timmy,” his eyes flared with anger, “and you still want to be with him. What am I supposed to think?”

“You’re supposed to think ‘Saoirse’s my friend and she would never do anything to hurt me. Maybe I should trust her.’ You know, the way Timmy does.”

He shook his head with a sad smile. “Timmy’s always been a soft touch. We’re both tougher than he is and we’re supposed to look out for him, not date one of his bullies.”

“He apologized!”

“Once!” He angrily held up one finger. “Big fucking deal!”

“It was a big deal,” she protested. “He apologized in public. He humiliated himself by admitting what an asshole he’d been and how ashamed he was of his behavior. He called out almost everyone he bullied by name and said how he would try to be better and he meant it, Armie. I swear! And he would have apologized personally except both of you went away this summer.”

He didn’t respond but seemed to be contemplating what she said. He closed his eyes and sighed. “Saoirse, you-”

“What? I’m an idiot for believing him?” For a moment, she thought about things from Armie’s perspective and while she walked in so sure of Ansel, in the face of her friend, her belief was starting to waver.

Armie stared down at her with a soft expression. “You’re such an amazing person and you deserve someone just as amazing.”

She just stood there speechless for a second. Without breaking the silence, he moved to sit on his bed and she followed 

Eventually, she took his hand in hers. “That’s really sweet, Arms.” She smiled and then blew out a breath. “Maybe I am being naive, but I think there’s a good person inside Ansel. He’s not all the way there yet, but I think he can get there - with my help.”

He gazed down at their joined hands but didn’t respond.

“But I swear I would never choose him over you - or Timmy. If he hasn’t really changed or if he ever treats you or Timmy as horribly as he did before, I would dump his ass so fast - and kick him in the balls!”

Armie snorted. “That I believe - and would love to see.” He pursed his lips and squeezed her hand. “I suppose, since you are my best friend, I should give you the benefit of the doubt.”

She almost squealed in happiness, but just clapped her hands briefly. 

“But I won’t be his friend.” He said in a tone that brooked no argument as he finally looked up at her.

“I completely understand that.” She nodded. “I just don’t want you to make things difficult. I need you to trust me the way I would if you were dating someone I hated.”

They stared at each other for a beat and then burst out laughing. 

“Okay, okay I would probably be a nightmare if you dated someone who wasn’t as awesome as you deserve, but I would at least try to hold my tongue as much as possible.” She said as she tried to keep from grinning.

Armie squinted at her, still seeming skeptical but a smile spread over his face. “I will give it a try. I know I’ll do a much better job of keeping my mouth shut than you ever could.”

She shoved him but laughed then she hugged him. “Thank you.”

He was true to his word and tried to keep the peace with Ansel. He was fairly successful. It helped that after coming home, Ansel did personally apologize to him and Timmy, and eventually, they did manage to become friends after they became teammates. They weren’t super close, but it was a lot better than when they were kids.

It wasn’t as if Ansel had turned into an angel. Which wasn’t what Saoirse was expecting. No one was perfect. He could still be a huge snob and snide to people, but he wasn’t as vicious as he was before - most of his worst comments were said behind people’s backs and he’d also never been cruel to Armie or Timmy again.

Until now.

The way that Ansel had changed - especially since he had done it for her - was a source of pride for her. It felt like a slap in the face to hear him talking about Armie the way he was now. It was like looking at eleven-year-old Ansel all over again.

“It’s so pathetic how much of a loser he still is!” Ansel continued his diatribe.

“Hey!” 

He stopped in his tracks.

Saoirse marched right up to him and they were almost nose to nose. “Look, I get that you’re upset that you didn’t get to give your speech - apparently the greatest speech in human history - but you don’t get to blame this on Armie and you certainly don’t get to call him names.”

“It’s my goddamn house and I’ll say whatever I want.” He narrowed his eyes. “Of course, you’d freaking defend him. Since Armie is so goddamn wonderful maybe you’d like to be with him instead. Go ahead and take him down to the massage rooms and have a great fucking time!”

Her nostrils flared and she threw her hands up. “Oh, my God! I don’t want to fuck Armie! Why do people keep suggesting that?”

Ansel’s brow furrowed. “Who suggested that besides me?”

“It doesn’t matter.” She pressed her palms to her eyes and groaned. “I hate the way it comes down to that with you lately whenever I dare defend him. As if the only way I could want to take his side is if I want to fuck him! It’s really sad that you don’t seem to understand how friendships work. Though I guess I can’t really blame you since your only friends seem to be wanton suck-ups or people you’re desperate to impress.”

He gritted his teeth. “Really low blow. Like you and the rest of the stupid “three musketeers” are so goddamn special!”

She rolled her eyes. Ansel knew she didn’t love that nickname. The sentiment behind it was cute, but she thought it was kind of cliché. But Armie loved it since _The Three Musketeers_ was his favorite book. He even gave them specific names. He dubbed himself “Athos.” Timmy was “Aramis” and Saoirse was “Porthos.” A nickname she truly hated though it was better than one childhood nickname Armie had for her.

“Whatever, Ansel. This is not even the point. You’re having a tantrum because you didn’t get to say some words at a high school party. It was a dumb speech not the goddamn State of the Union!”

Ansel crossed his arms over his chest. “Before you said it wasn’t dumb.”

“Well, I lied!” She spit out. Right now, she was so annoyed she was sure she was five seconds away from just screaming in his face. “I was trying to be a supportive girlfriend.”

“Guess you don’t think I need your support anymore now that you have to come to your best friend’s rescue.” He shook his head and turned his back to her.

“Look, I’m defending Armie not only because he’s my friend but because this was clearly not his fault. You said it yourself - Ashton was the one who started the chant which should not have come as such a shock to you knowing how people feel about Armie and his speeches. And you could have stopped it!”

“Me?” Ansel whirled around and gestured to himself.

“Yes, you! Armie didn’t want to go up there. Even when they started the chant, he didn’t run up there. You had every opportunity to just say ‘you know what, this is my party and if there are any speeches to give, I’ll be the one doing it.’ But you didn’t.”

“Why so I could look like a whiny baby?”

Saoirse cocked her head and looked up him up and down. “Suddenly, you’re concerned about looking like a whiny baby?”

The look in his eyes was so full of rage she was surprised fire wasn’t coming out of them. “Fuck you, Saoirse!”

“Right back atcha, you whiny-”

Ansel grabbed both sides of her face and kissed her passionately, moving her and pushing her roughly up against the door. 

At first, she let her hormones run the show, but when her brain kicked in and she thought back on what he had just said to her, she pushed him back. “No! You don’t get to be an asshole to me and then expect to make out.”

The kiss must have thrown him completely off course because all of his anger from before seemed to have completely dissipated. His pupils were dilated and he gazed at her with such heat it usually would have made her knees weak. Okay, her knees were in a somewhat weakened stated, but she was determined not to give in.

He slowly pushed his face into her neck and put his arms around her. “I’m sorry, Sersh. I know I was a jerk. I was just really upset about having a moment I was really looking forward to ruined. I didn’t mean what I said.”

It was a struggle not to return his gesture and put her arms around him, but she wasn’t completely swayed by his apology. She blew out a breath as she stared up at the ceiling. “You’re just saying that because you’re horny.”

“Who says I’m horny?”

“Well, you’re blowing into my ear and trying to untie the back of my dress.”

Ansel pulled back slowly with an impish grin. “So, maybe I am a little horny. That’s not a problem, is it?” He was already working on untying the second tie of her dress. 

She pushed him back slightly with one finger. “It is a problem. You were a colossal jerk. What you said about Armie - you called him a fat fuck - which is insane because he’s not even fat anymore. Though that doesn’t even matter. Even if he weighed three hundred pounds that wouldn’t be cool. You can’t call my friends names.”

He nodded. “I know. I said I’m sorry. I’m just really stressed, baby. You know what could really help with that…” He licked his lips.

Her willpower was almost completely gone. Internally, she cursed her weakness but outwardly she chuckled softly.

“I promise I’ll be in a much better mood after.” He put his arms around her again. 

Saoirse shook her head and sighed. She put her arms around his neck. “Fine. But this better make up for what you said, big time!”

“Absolutely!” He smashed their lips together and pulled at her dress.

~*~

“It’s probably going to shake things up a lot. Don’t you think?”

“Uh, huh,” Timmy answered even though he’d only vaguely heard what Lucas said. 

Normally, he enjoyed talking to Lucas. He was one of his favorite classmates and took his career in the arts as seriously as Timmy did. Also, Timmy considered him one of the bravest people he knew. He was one of only a handful of kids at Berkeley High who was out and the only one who identified as pansexual. He had to deal with all manner of idiots asking him ridiculous and personal questions. 

Despite Timmy’s own issues with his sexuality he tried not to be one of those people. They usually had lots of interesting conversations about a variety of topics. 

Usually. 

But with Armie currently being so close, he was having trouble concentrating. 

Armie was a few feet away from where he and Lucas were and he was talking to Nick. He wasn’t close enough for him to hear what they were saying but close enough that Timmy could swear he could smell the coconut shampoo Armie uses mixed with the honey from his current favorite cologne. 

Putting aside how Armie’s scent was overwhelming his senses, he was focused more on Armie’s face and the growing frown on it. After his triumphant speech, he would have thought Armie would be floating on air but he still seemed distressed. 

Distantly, he heard the sound of someone clearing their throat. When he looked back he saw Lucas looking at him with a patient and slightly amused expression. 

Timmy pinched the bridge of his nose. He was being horribly rude. 

“I’m sorry,” he sheepishly grinned and touched Lucas’s arm. “I got distracted for a second. What were you talking about?”

Lucas just shrugged and seemed unfazed. “Just what I had mentioned before that I heard that Mr. Stuhlbarg is really interested in casting new leads for the fall play. It seems he wants to give more people a shot, perhaps discover new talent.”

He nodded. “It sounds like a good idea. I mean they’re good but it’s about time someone other than Ansel or Lili Reinhart had a chance at being the leads.”

Even though he was usually busy with football, Ansel still found time for drama and he was 90% of the time cast in the starring role, which had been frustrating for him since he never got a decent shot as a lead. 

Unfortunately, the timing wasn’t great.

“It does make me more tempted to try out.”

Lucas’s eyes widened. “You’re not going to try out this year.”

“I doubt it.” He scrubbed his hand through his thick hair. “I don’t know if _The Crucible_ is my thing. I’ll probably try out for the spring musical. Honestly, I really think that I should spend most of my time preparing for my Juilliard audition. I’ve got a lot of work to do to get ready.”

That was if he even got an official audition. First, he had to pass a pre-audition before he could really start to worry about the next phase of the main audition in New York. 

“I know getting into Juilliard is really hard, but I can’t imagine you not getting in. You’re a brilliant piano player, Tim,” he said with a confidence Timmy wished he had.

“Thank you.” He put his hands together and did a slight bow. 

Receiving compliments was always nice - though sometimes he still had trouble with knowing how to accept them - and so many people told him what a great musician he was but great wasn’t going to be good enough to get into Juilliard. You had to pretty much be beyond perfect.

Despite it being a dangerous idea, he didn’t want to apply anywhere else. This was his dream school. Even though he’d been preparing for this for a long time, now that the time to apply was rapidly approaching he was getting more nervous by the day. 

The prospect of getting into Juilliard was the only thing that came close to matching the fear and excitement of his feelings for Armie.

And like that, Armie was back to being the only thing he could focus on. He was truly never far from his thoughts. Whenever he was near him, his feelings were always so close to the surface it was hard to hide how he felt. With how loud his heart was beating he didn’t know how he could even hear Lucas or how Lucas didn’t hear the drumbeat inside of his chest.

After all of the years of his crush on Armie, he hadn’t thought it was possible, but his feelings for him were getting more intense.

The first time he had any inkling the way he felt about Armie was different was when he was eight. The event that led to this discovery was a bit unusual - he’d walked in on his parents having sex.

His parents had always been open and honest with Timmy and his sister Pauline when it came to anything having to do with sex. No matter their age, no matter their question, they weren’t embarrassed in the least and didn’t treat them like dumb kids. Occasionally, they would allow him and Pauline to watch movies, especially foreign movies, that had sex scenes and nudity. They didn’t have cutesy names for the “penis” and “vagina.” They explained as best that they could the mechanics of sex and everything that could result from having sex, including pregnancy and STDs.

But having your parents talk to you about sex was a hell of a lot different than witnessing the act itself - especially between your parents, especially between your parents having sex on the bathroom countertop. 

It could have scarred him for life, but once again his mother faced the situation head-on. The next day, she and Timmy sat in the living room and she told him he could ask whatever he wanted. 

Squirming in his seat, he didn’t know what to do. A big part of him just wanted to forget it and put the images out of his mind and he felt that talking about it wouldn’t help, but there were some things he did need answers to.

Timmy nibbled on the end of his thumb and Nicole gently took his hand out of his mouth. “I guess I just don’t understand why you were doing...that...in the bathroom. Aren’t people supposed to have sex in their bedroom?”

“Usually, yes.” She frowned. “Timmy, I just want to apologize again for you having to see us like that. As we’ve told you before sex isn’t shameful but we shouldn’t have done that, especially when we had guests.” 

When it happened they had been having a party to celebrate Nicole and Marc’s 13th wedding anniversary. Almost everyone they knew had shown up with everyone mostly congregating in the backyard. 

“We didn’t expect anyone to come up to the second-floor guest bathroom. And, I could have sworn we had locked the door, but I guess in our...um...excitement…” Her cheeks looked flushed. “We forgot. That was…” She swallowed thickly.

This was the first time he had seen his mother at such a loss for words.

“Trust me when I say we won’t ever do that again. At least not without locking the door.”

His face scrunched up. “But why did you have to do it right then?”

“It’s not a great excuse, but at that moment, we just couldn’t help ourselves.” She smiled and her whole face brightened up. “I still look at your dad and I’m just as attracted to him now as I was when we met.”

He bit his lip and looked up at his mother. “What does attracted mean?”

She sat back and put her arm over the back of the chair and looked up in thought. “Well, being attracted to someone means that you’re really drawn to them. It’s someone that interests you and that you really like, but not in the same way you like your friends or your family. Does that make sense?” She ran her hand through his hair.

Timmy half-shrugged. He sort of understood, but not quite.

“It’s someone who makes your heart race.” At his confused expression, she laughed. “Not literally, of course, but when you see them your heart rate picks up.” She touched her stomach. “And, sometimes you get this nervous feeling in your belly. For me, with your father, he’s someone I never get tired of being around and enjoy spending time with. I like talking to him. I like the way he looks. The way I feel about him is unlike the way I feel about anyone else.”

Some kids might find their parents talking about how much they love each other kind of gross, especially when they had just walked in on them having sex but Timmy mostly thought it was sweet and what she was describing sounded nice.

He stroked his palms down his legs and wasn’t sure how to ask his next question. This time he couldn’t look her in the eye. “And...that’s why you have sex with each other?”

“That’s one reason, yes,” she answered matter-of-factly. “When you’re attracted to someone you want to be intimate - to be close - to them and show them how you feel. But you don’t have to have sex until you’re older and you’re ready to. You can be intimate in other ways - like hugging and kissing. Understand?”

“Yes.”

Nicole put her arm around him and held him close. “And, soon enough you’ll have those types of feelings for a girl or...” She put her hand over his. “Timmy, you remember we talked about what being gay means?”

“It doesn’t just mean being happy but it’s when boys marry boys and girls marry girls,” he explained.

She chuckled. “Not just marry. It’s when people of the same gender are attracted to each other. And there’s nothing wrong with that. If you ever liked another boy, I would love you just the same. Understand?”

He just nodded and stared down at his feet. For some reason, he had a funny feeling in his stomach after that answer but when he looked back up into his mother’s eyes that feeling went away and he knew she absolutely meant what she said and how much she loved him. He grinned up at her.

“Good.” She placed several, rapid kisses on the top of his head as he squirmed away.

Soon after that, he left to go and play. While he did understand most of what his mother had explained, it was a lot to process and he tried to put it out of his mind for the rest of the day, which was easy to do when he had the latest Harry Potter movie to distract him.

The next day, he watched his parents more closely, particularly when his father was leaving for work and his parents said goodbye. They kissed each other like they weren’t going to see each other again for a month which wasn’t unusual behavior from them, but it was the first time he contemplated why they did that. It must have been like his mother said because they really liked each other.

Armie came over later that day and he told him all about The Half-Blood Prince. It didn’t seem to interest him too much, maybe because Timmy had told him all about it when the book first came out. He wasn’t as into those books or movies as Timmy was, but Armie always indulged him when he wanted to talk his ear off about them.

Later, they went swimming. As Armie started to dry his hair, to make Timmy laugh, he stuck his wet hair up in different directions. It did the trick and Timmy giggled.

Armie looked at himself in the mirror. “I look silly, don’t I?”

Timmy stared at his reflection and this warm feeling spread inside and he smiled. “I like the way you look.”

Armie flicked his eyes up at Timmy’s reflection in the mirror and he chuckled lightly. “You like me looking like a weirdo.”

He laughed and nodded.

When Armie was leaving a couple of hours later, Timmy thought he would just wave goodbye like he always did but once again this feeling came over him and before Armie turned to walk out of his room without thinking, Timmy leaned over and planted a soft kiss on his cheek.

After he pulled back, Timmy was paralyzed with fear. He couldn’t believe what he’d just done. For a second, he thought Armie would wipe his cheek in disgust or even push him down. When he came to his senses, he knew Armie pushing him down would never happen. Armie was always his protector and would never hurt him like that.

Instead of pushing him or wiping his cheek, Armie flashed him a smile - a smile to this day Timmy thought was the sweetest and most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. At that stage in his life, he wouldn’t have said he was in love with Armie, but he certainly fell in love with that smile. It was still one of his favorite things in the world.

As Armie turned and walked out of the door, Timmy had to clutch his stomach. He suddenly felt something that felt like a stomach ache, but it didn’t last long and it didn’t feel that bad. He wondered if Armie’s smile had caused it.

Despite what his mother had said about it being okay to be attracted to another boy, it wasn’t something he had been prepared to deal with then so he stuffed whatever different feelings he had for Armie down as much as he could. There were still times that he would get that nervous feeling in his stomach, especially when Armie smiled at him, but he still didn’t want to examine what it meant.

Things changed drastically when Armie returned home right before ninth grade. Armie’s family had gone to Texas that summer and it was the longest period of time Timmy and Armie had ever been away from each other. He had been miserable all summer and he felt horrible about that because Saoirse did her best to cheer him up. She was always great company, but Armie’s absence was a hole she couldn’t fill.

The day Armie was set to return he felt like a live wire all day, practically bouncing off the walls. If it wouldn’t have looked horribly pathetic, he would have waited on the Hammers’ front porch to catch his first glimpse of Armie. He waited on his front porch instead. It was one of the many, many times living right next door to them paid off. As soon as he saw their car come up the street, he was off like a shot.

As he skidded to a stop next to their driveway he saw the back of the head of some hugely tall blond as he stepped out of the car. His profile seemed familiar but that couldn’t be - when the tall Adonis turned fully, Timmy’s mouth dropped open. Suddenly, it was like someone had doused him with gasoline and set him on fire. He was practically drooling.

Timmy and Armie had talked on the phone every day. They had even FaceTimed a couple of times, but it had usually been at night though he could still see that Armie’s face was changing. Armie had even warned him he would look different. He had understood that but it was quite different to see it up close and to see how everything about him had changed.

It wasn’t like Armie was the only one to go through significant changes. Timmy had gone through his own. He’d shot up five inches that summer and was 5’8” and was so excited for Armie to see that and he had wondered if he would be taller than Armie. Now he certainly didn’t have to wonder. Armie was probably six feet. He was tall and thin and his hair was a bit longer. 

He was perfect.

Not that he didn’t think Armie was cute before. It didn’t matter how chubby he was or how many pimples he had or anything like that. Actually, it was kind of annoying to him sometimes how cute Armie was no matter what. It made ignoring his feelings so much harder. 

However, his looks were never what really drew Timmy to him. Armie was so warm and gentle and sweet. He always went out of his way to make him laugh. No matter what, Armie always made sure he was protected. Sometimes Armie would draw bullies’ ire from Timmy even if it meant they took all of their anger out on him.

To him, Armie was the absolute best person he knew. His looks now were just a bonus - and what a bonus!

The way he looked now, it was like Armie had been put together at a factory for perfect humans and Timmy wanted to climb him like a tree. 

Finally, Armie spotted him. His beatific smile did not make Timmy’s situation any easier. Armie raced over to him and pulled him into a hug so tight, he could barely breathe. He even lifted him off the ground briefly. He put him down gently and pulled back to gaze down at him. To _gaze down at him_.

The height difference, the affectionate way he was looking at him - it was overwhelming. Suddenly, he realized with growing dread that he was hard - so painfully hard. He needed to get away. He tried backing away, but Armie grabbed his hand. He was so, so, so grateful he had been wearing baggy jeans.

Despite Armie’s parents’ protestations that he needed to help unpack, Armie just pulled him inside. He wanted to know _everything_ about his summer. Timmy said he’d told him everything over the phone, but he said it wasn’t the same as hearing it in person. 

He tried to tell the story of his family’s vacation to New York, but Armie kept gazing at him so intensely - like he was trying to commit his face to memory - and putting his enormous hand on his knee. It was too much for Timmy’s 14-year-old hormones to take. He knew he was going to bust right then and there if he didn’t get away.

While he hated lying to Armie, he pulled out his phone and pretended he got a text from his mom and she really needed him. He promised to be back as quick as possible. Timmy left a sputtering Armie behind. 

He set land speed records getting back to his house. He was already unbuckling his belt before he shut his bedroom door. Though he tried to make it to the bed or bathroom, his situation was too far gone and he fell to the floor and jerked off harder and faster than he ever had in his life. His orgasm was so intense he could swear his toes were still curled hours later. 

Also intense was his gratitude that his bedroom had hardwood floors.

As he cleaned his cum from the floor, he realized there was no denying what he felt for Armie went way beyond friendship. It was a realization that changed his life in so many ways, though thankfully, it didn’t change his friendship with Armie. Despite his strong romantic feelings for him, thanks to his mad acting skills, Timmy was able to hide those feelings from Armie and not act too weird around him.

He didn’t know if these feelings for Armie would ever go away but he knew he could never tell his very straight best friend about them, not if he didn’t want to permanently alter - and maybe even ruin - their friendship. 

Lucas and Timmy continued to talk for a couple more minutes, including Timmy suggesting that Lucas try out for the lead of the fall play, but when he saw Nick leave Armie alone he wanted to find a graceful way to end the conversation. Knowing what a movie buff Lucas was, he hoped enticing him that way would do it. 

“I think I heard that they’re about to start showing _Better Off Dead_ in that movie marathon they’re having.”

“Oh, awesome.” Lucas grinned. “Even though I have that movie at home, I think it will be nice to see it in a crowd.”

Timmy nodded with a smile.

“I’ll see you later, Timmy.” Lucas clutched his shoulder briefly as he walked away.

As he started to walk towards Armie - who had his back turned to him now - that all too common nervous feeling in his stomach came back. It was so silly since he talked to Armie all the time - he’d just talked to him a couple of hours ago - so there was no reason to be nervous but he couldn’t help it. He never could.

When he was a few inches away, he took a deep breath and squared his shoulders. Then he cleared his throat. “Why aren’t you dancing?” He said in what he hoped was a breezy tone.

Armie whirled around. His wide, bright smile almost knocked Timmy off his feet. 

“Hey!” 

“Hey.”

They stared at each other for an awkward few seconds.

Bouncing on the balls of his feet, Armie seemed filled with nervous energy. “Why aren’t I dancing?”

“Yes. I distinctly recall _someone_ earlier telling us to ‘party our asses off.’ Now, this,” he pointed up in the air and they both listened to Drake’s catchy “In My Feelings,” “is fun and one of your favorites right now.”

“True.” Armie crossed his arms over his chest. “But I fear that someone will try to make me do the dance challenge and I’ll just end up embarrassing myself.” He pointed to the dance floor and grinned. “Case in point.”

After glancing over there, he snickered as he saw a bunch of kids doing the In My Feelings challenge and then turned back to Armie. “You could only embarrass yourself if you’re one of those idiots who stop in traffic to do it.”

“That’s a fair point.” Armie laughed as the song petered out. 

DJ Slam grabbed the microphone. “We’re going to switch it up for just a few minutes.” The sounds of Frank Ocean’s “Thinkin Bout You” floated through the air. “This goes out to a beautiful curly-haired wannabe DJ I was having a grand ‘ol time with earlier tonight. Hope he makes his way back up here sometime.”

His eyes bulged and he stood frozen in place. The tips of his ears felt hot. Deciding it would be rude not to respond in some way, he briefly turned and gave a short wave to the DJ. There were a couple of kids staring in his direction, but he ignored them.

When he looked back at Armie his face was red but for an entirely different reason. He was glaring up at the front and seemed ready to commit murder.

Finally, Armie noticed his gaze on him and he quickly looked away and shook his head. “What a dick! He shouldn’t have put you on the spot like that,” he huffed.

“It’s fine,” he flashed a brief smile. “It’s kind of flattering, I guess.”

Armie blinked a few times staring at him then looked from Timmy to DJ Slam. “So...do you want to go up there, maybe dance with him?”

Timmy shook his head so hard and fast he almost got dizzy. “No. Don’t really feel like dancing right now.” He looked around and saw the dance floor filled with swaying couples. “Do you want to find Elizabeth to dance?” He asked reluctantly and silently prayed Armie wouldn’t want to.

Armie searched the room for a second and suddenly he seemed amused and mortified all at the same time. “I’d have to tear her away from her current companion.” He nodded in the opposite direction.

Turning around, Timmy spotted Elizabeth by the refreshment table. She was taking a selfie with...an empty glass. She had it raised high and he assumed she was pretending to do a toast. At least that seemed like the only logical explanation.

“Is she doing some sort of toast?”

“I have no idea.” Armie shrugged. “I don’t really understand a lot of what she does on social media.”

Timmy snickered. Because of his feelings for Armie, he didn’t feel like he was the best judge of Elizabeth’s character and tried not to give Armie as much grief about her as Saoirse did. Still, sometimes he couldn’t help wondering why Armie was with her.

“So...you don’t want to dance. What exactly do you want to do?” 

Armie’s blue eyes fixed on him and traveled up Timmy’s body. If he was in a more delirious state, he would have thought Armie was flirting with him. Looking away with a shy chuckle, he jammed his hands in his pockets and pondered Armie’s question.

There were about a million filthy things he wanted to be doing at that moment - with Armie, to Armie - but he definitely couldn’t tell him that. When he thought about non-sexual things that would be better than dancing a smile spread over his face as he thought of the perfect thing.

He glanced up at Armie. “Follow me.”

Armie dutifully did as he was told right away. 

They walked through the foyer, a comfortable looking den, the kitchen, and then a long cream-colored hallway filled with what he was sure were expensive paintings. On their walk, they passed a couple of people they knew like Dakota Johnson, Taylor Long, Dev Patel and there was one couple making out in the hallway - or more accurately, rutting on the floor. He was surprised there weren’t more people milling about but he assumed that most people were in the ballroom, at the home theater, or outside by the swimming pools.

He hoped that he was headed in the right direction. Saoirse had told him once where to find the “humongous ass” living room, but there were so many rooms in this house he hoped he didn’t get lost. Finally, they got to the end of the hall and made a left. He instantly knew he was in the right place.

It was definitely a gigantic room. There was a cozy bar with soft white chairs, a fireplace, a gray loveseat in the middle of the room, another fireplace at the other end, two white couches, and what he had been looking for - a gorgeous, black piano.

When Armie spotted it, he grinned widely. “Leave it to you to find the biggest piano in the place.”

“How do you know it’s the biggest?” He looked at him over his shoulder.

Armie shrugged. “True. For all we know, there could be pianos in every room, each one bigger than the last.”

Timmy chuckled and they walked toward it. After they sat down at the bench, he lifted up the fallboard and stroked the keys for a bit before playing a few random notes. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to go back there and dance? That DJ was really into you.” Armie was looking behind him towards the door. 

He snorted. “I don’t think so. He would flirt with anybody.”

“Maybe so but I saw the way he was looking at you.” His voice sounded strained. “The way Lucas was looking at you.”

His finger slipped and he produced a discordant note. “Lucas?”

“Come on.” Armie raised his eyebrows. “You haven’t noticed he has a slight crush on you?”

He shook his head. “Why would you think that? Just because he’s gay?”

“No. No. More like because he has eyes.”

His eyes widened and he slowly peered up at Armie. It was sweet of him - and it made his stomach flip - but he didn’t know where this was coming from.

“I don’t think there are many people who meet you who aren’t at least a little bit in love with you.” Armie briefly stared into his eyes before he turned away with a soft grin.

 _Except you_. He played a few melancholy notes from Chopin’s “Raindrops.” “I don’t think that’s true.”

“I don’t understand how you don’t see it.” Armie put his hand over his and he reluctantly stopped playing. “I know you’re not going to date DJ Stomp, or whatever the fuck his name is, or Lucas, but there are plenty of girls around here who would be over the freaking moon to date you. If you weren’t so picky.”

Picky had absolutely nothing to do with it. 

Part of it was that his feelings for Armie ran so deep that it was hard making room for anyone else. But, he didn’t want to be celibate for the rest of his life so he had dated a few times. He went out with a couple of girls in middle school. Nothing that ever went beyond a couple of dates. 

In the ninth grade, he dated Lourdes Ciccone for about six weeks and Saoirse’s co-worker Kiernan Shipka for two months but it soon became clear to him that the problem wasn’t just Armie. Whenever he kissed a girl, he just felt nothing. And he could look at celebrities like Angelina Jolie and think that they were beautiful but he didn’t feel any sexual attraction to them.

With men though, that was a different story. He couldn’t even keep count of the number of times he had wet dreams about guys like Christian Bale. It soon became clear to him that he was gay and once he realized that he couldn’t stomach dating girls, not even to keep up appearances.

He hated the thought of deceiving someone like that. To make them think that he liked them in that way and that they had a future. It felt too cruel. 

At first, no one gave him a hard time about his very lacking dating life but by the middle of the tenth-grade people like his mom and his sister asked him why he never went on dates and offered to set him up. He claimed there was no one at school he clicked with. When Saoirse and Armie pressed him on the issue he said that he just couldn’t find anyone he liked - which was sort of true - and that he wanted to focus on his music - also somewhat true.

It didn’t stop his mother from constantly setting up random “friendly encounters” with cute girls she met at work or from the gym or with a random cashier she spoke to once at the supermarket but who was apparently “just perfect for you, I can tell.”

After he explained things to Armie, he had never bothered him about it and he wasn’t sure why he was now.

He gazed down at where Armie’s hand was still on top of his. When Armie noticed he was still clutching his hand, he slid it off slowly.

“I’m not picky. I just don’t feel the need to date,” he lied. “Isn’t that allowed?”

Armie stared at him for a moment - it looked like there was a war going on inside his head - and then sighed. “Of course you can do what you want. You don’t have to date. I just don’t want you to be lonely.” His voice was full of concern.

Timmy put his head on his shoulder and tried to sound content. “I’m not lonely. I have you and Saoirse.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Armie’s Adam’s apple bob. 

“You won’t for much longer,” Armie whispered.

“Nope!” He sat up so fast his neck almost hurt and he closed the fallboard harder than he intended. “We’re not going to talk about that.” Shaking his head for emphasis. 

He stood up and Armie watched him warily. 

“You said you wanted to have some fun.” He held out his hand and smiled with a twinkle in his eye. “So, let’s have some fun.”

Armie looked skeptical but then a slow grin spread over his face. He seemed happier than he had all night. He took his hand and Timmy lifted him off the piano bench, dragging him out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @filmgeekstacey on Tumblr


	4. TOW The Trivia Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timmy and Armie's quest for fun leads them to a game with some very high - and very fun - stakes!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long delay in posting this. I didn't think it was going to take this long to write but the chapter ended up being more difficult than I anticipated. Once again, it got massively long so I had to split the chapter again. The good news is that means it won't take long to post chapter five. Even more good news, I'm mostly close to finishing up chapter 6 so there won't be as long a wait for the next two chapters.
> 
> As difficult as it was, I did enjoy writing the developments in this chapter. You can probably take a good guess what my favorite tv show is from reading this chapter. :))
> 
> Thanks once again to shimmeringstarrs for looking this over for me!
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy; let me know what you think!

"I can’t believe this is your idea of fun.” Despite what he had just said, Armie couldn’t stop giggling and bouncing on his feet as he and Timmy stood next to the photo booth and waited for their photos to come out. 

When Timmy had dragged him out of the living room, he had assumed he was taking him somewhere like the theater or one of the swimming pools or even the hot tub - okay, the last one was more Armie’s fantasy scenario. Instead, they had stopped at the photo booth in the foyer. 

It was an enclosed photo booth that was covered by black curtains. There was a table next to it with a box on top with a few props: some special eyeglasses - one that had the word seniors on top and 2019 glasses - yellow and black feather boas, fake mustaches, and multi-colored confetti as well. They took a couple of fake mustaches and the confetti inside the booth but barely used them. Inside, there was a chalkboard backdrop that read “Welcome Senior Class.” 

After he bent down to retrieve the newly produced photos, Timmy came back up with a wide grin, the skin around his eyes crinkling in the cutest way. “Well, to me it looks like you’re having a pretty good time. Pictures don’t lie.” He handed Armie one of the strips.

He instantly understood Timmy’s reaction and threw his head back with a joyful laugh when he saw them. 

After they stepped inside the booth, they had sat on the black leather bench. Instead of using the props, Timmy had just wanted them to take pictures with the corniest and clichéd poses possible. The suggestion made Armie laugh and sounded like fun so he happily agreed. 

Timmy went up to the monitor and started the machine. There was a “3, 2, 1” countdown before a photo was taken. As the machine started the countdown, Timmy just shouted out “finger guns.” Armie followed his lead and they posed with their backs to each other doing finger guns. 

It was so silly but since Timmy looked like he was having a ball, Armie didn’t care. When Timmy said “duck lips” Armie’s head bowed as he began laughing again and he almost didn’t look up in time but he got it together in the nick of time and they both faced the camera and did their best duck lip faces. 

Looking at the picture now, Armie thought it seemed mostly like his best Blue Steel.

For the third pose, he almost choked when Timmy just blurted out “tongues.” When he glanced over at Timmy and saw him literally sticking his tongue out at Armie, he realized with disappointment Timmy’s mind was clearly not where his was and just managed to turn and stick his tongue out at Timmy.

The countdown started again and Timmy’s nose was scrunched as he gazed up at the ceiling. Since he seemed out of ideas, Armie decided to take matters in his own hands so to speak and, catching Timmy by surprise, he threw up some of the confetti and then kissed him on the cheek. 

As he stared at the last picture, Armie’s heart swelled. Timmy had the most genuine surprised - but happy - expression he’d ever seen. His smile was so wide it seemed like the corners of his mouth were being pulled by invisible forces. When Armie looked up, he could see Timmy’s gaze on that picture as well.

“You said you wanted clichéd poses,” Armie said just to fill the heavy silence.

“A kiss on the cheek definitely falls under that category.” Timmy peered down at the picture for a few more seconds before turning his attention back to Armie, fondness written all over his face.

“And, you’re right.” Armie cleared his throat. “I did have a good time. It’s just...are we just going to take pictures over and over again for the next hour or two?” After he said it, he thought if it meant getting to keep kissing Timmy on the cheek he’d take pictures for a hundred years.

“That’s true.” Timmy leaned against the booth and put his chin on top of his closed fist as he pursed his lips. After pondering this for a moment, his eyes flicked up towards Armie. “Well, I don’t see you coming up with any brilliant, fun ideas,” he said in a playful, but accusatory tone.

He had a point. If the two of them were going to do something fun it wasn’t all on Timmy. Armie tried to come up with something fun preferably just the two of them could do. Once he discarded all of his fantasies that involved his tongue licking various parts of Timmy’s body, something they could actually do finally came to him.

Armie snapped his fingers. “We could play a drinking game.”

“What kind of game?”

“A drinking game,” Armie repeated with a smirk on his face.

Timmy leveled him with a withering glare - well as withering as his perpetually “puppy in human form” face could muster. “Yeah, I heard you the first time, smart guy.” They both laughed. “What kind of drinking game? Never have I ever, bite the bag, straight face…” He vaguely gestured with his hand.

“I was thinking about some kind of trivia game. We ask a bunch of questions and whoever answers wrong drinks?” Armie finished hesitantly as he started to wonder if it was a dumb idea.

“Like movie trivia?” He cocked his head to the side. “That would probably be a bad idea because I would beat you so easily and I don’t think I’m strong enough to drag your drunk ass out of here.”

“Where does all this cockiness come from?” He replied with mock exasperation. It reminded him of something and his lip twitched as he held back a smile. “Not movie trivia. I have something more fun in mind - something I will definitely win. Do you remember the dumbest thing you said to me this summer?” 

Pushing off from the photo booth, Timmy pursed his lips as he stood in front of Armie. “I don’t know. When I said Pauline could take Viktor in a fight?”

“No, that sounds about right. She’d probably beat him up without breaking a sweat. Your sister is seriously scary.”

Timmy nodded and chuckled. He scratched the back of his head as he mulled over the question again. “I think you’re going to have to help me narrow it down. You know I say a lot of dumb things.”

Even though Timmy clearly meant it as a joke, it still bothered Armie to hear him say it. He had a habit of making self-deprecating comments like that and Armie knew it was partly because despite being such an amazing person, Timmy had a lot of confidence issues. It was something he could relate to extremely well.

“That’s not true,” Armie insisted as strenuously as possible as he looked Timmy in the eye. “You say stupid things so rarely, what you said really stood out for how mind-blowingly ridiculous it was.”

Timmy blew out a breath. “That still doesn’t help me narrow it down. Unless…” There was a spark of recognition in his eyes and he grinned up at Armie. “Are you talking about when I said that I know you better than you know me?”

“Bingo!’ Armie pointed at him. Every time he thought about that conversation he had wanted to challenge Timmy on it.

Timmy leaned over and let out a laugh that could have sounded like a demented cackle coming from someone else, but from him sounded adorable.

The expression on his face was one of pure delight as he straightened up. “I remember how offended you got when I said it - sounded like you almost stomped your foot -“

“Yeah, right!” Armie scoffed.

“...but I’m sorry, my friend, it’s true.” Timmy continued ignoring Armie’s interruption. He started listing things off on his fingers. “Even though you hate to admit it, I know that Chucky is the thing that scares you most in the world. I know that even when you’re training for football season you have to have a bowl of Frosted Flakes before going to bed. I know that every morning on game day you have to listen to ‘The Eye of the Tiger.’ And, I know that in your wallet, you still carry every picture my mom has taken on our first day of school.” 

When he was done he had a triumphant smile on his face and raised his eyebrows.

Alright, that was really impressive. He didn’t know Timmy knew he carried those pictures in his wallet. Armie nodded slowly. “That was pretty good.”

“Pretty good?!” Timmy exclaimed. He briefly stared at him as if Armie had slapped him in the face.

Armie half-shrugged with a lop-sided grin. “While that little fucker Chucky does scare the crap out of me,” he shuddered, “really the thing that scares me the most is my parents and my parents’ expectations of me.”

Timmy’s bright mood immediately evaporated and his green eyes clouded over with such sympathy Armie wanted to kick himself for bringing down the mood.

Despite the seriousness of what he’d said, Armie had only mentioned it because he was trying to be completely honest and it didn’t occur to him what Timmy’s reaction would be, which he definitely should have known.

Trying to recover the earlier levity, he chuckled lightly and forced a smile, but judging by the deepening frown on Timmy’s face he didn’t seem to be willing to let him laugh it off. Armie hoped refocusing the conversation would do the trick. 

He swallowed. “Like I said, it was pretty good, but it doesn’t prove anything. I know tons about you, too. For some reason the scariest character in the world to you is Beetlejuice.”

His plan worked and Timmy went from frowning to his mouth falling open and then rolling his eyes. “That is perfectly valid!” Timmy squawked. “His hair is gross. He eats bugs. When his head gets really tiny at the end it’s freaky.”

“It’s funny!” Armie laughed.

“Well, our ideas of what’s funny are very different then.” He pouted, crossing his arms over his chest. 

It was so adorable Armie almost thought about whipping out his phone to take a picture. Instead, he pressed on with trying to prove his knowledge of all things Timmy.

“You’ve told your mom that her coq au vin is your favorite meal when it’s really McDonald’s chicken nuggets.”

His cheeks started to turn a nice shade of pink and he looked down at the floor.

“And, you don’t think I know this but you can still fit in - and sometimes wear - the Spider-man pajama pants I bought you in the fifth grade,” Armie finished.

Timmy’s mouth fell open. “How do you know about that?”

Armie waggled his eyebrows and crossed to sit on the tan settee by the hallway. “I’ve learned a lot staying with you guys for the last couple of days.”

He had been staying with the Chalamets since Friday when his parents went off to a religious retreat for Dru’s bible study group. Even though they’d be leaving right before he was going to start his senior year, his parents saw no conflict since they would be back by the time he finished the first day. This was about the “spiritual journey” of others and that always took precedence over everything.

It had taken some convincing on Armie’s part, but he had gotten his parents to agree to let him stay at the house by himself. It was the first time they had agreed to it. He had been really excited and looking forward to having the run of the house with no one looking over his shoulder and second-guessing him at every turn. 

When Nicole learned that he would be alone the weekend before his senior year started she thought that it was a horrible idea for him to spend such a milestone weekend on his own and invited him to stay with them. Even though he had lobbied hard to stay at home alone, he was instantly chomping at the bit to say yes and didn't know why he hadn’t considered it himself. 

Given that they were next-door neighbors and best friends, Timmy and Armie had both slept over at each other’s houses numerous times. When their families vacationed together, they had always shared a room, but that hadn’t happened in years once their parents started to drift apart. 

The idea of getting to basically live with Timmy, especially this particular weekend, was too perfect.

Armie briefly put up a token fight about how he was too old to need a chaperone, but quickly accepted Nicole’s invitation. 

“I think your mom forgot how much I like to sleep in on Saturdays,” Armie continued his explanation.

“Yeah, she has this crazy idea that people usually wake up before lunchtime,” Timmy interrupted with a mischievous grin as he sat next to him. 

Armie flipped him off and kept talking. “She came in to put away your laundry, and you know how she likes to sing when she putters around the house. It woke me up just in time to see her folding your Spider-man bottoms and putting them away.”

Timmy cringed and put his head in his hands, shaking it back and forth. “Well, that’s embarrassing...and also annoying. I told her to stop doing my laundry. I need to learn how to do those kinds of things before I go off to school otherwise I might have some really embarrassing accidents.”

“Probably the worst that would happen is you end up with a lot of pink clothes.” He poked Timmy’s side. “You like pink.”

“True.” Timmy grinned.

“But I know what you mean. You know my mother doesn’t do laundry but she still has Mafalda doing it. Thankfully though, Mafalda has given me a few pointers and if you’re very nice to me, I might share my newfound wisdom with you.” Armie bumped his shoulder against Timmy’s.

“How generous of you.” Timmy touched his hand to his chest. “What would I do without you?”

It was said in a teasing manner, but they both stared at each other and Armie felt his throat closing up when he thought about how living without each other would be something they would have to learn how to do very soon. 

He could tell Timmy was thinking the same thing as his breathing started to quicken. Timmy closed his eyes tightly as if he was trying to block out those thoughts.

Of the three of them, Timmy was the most unwilling to talk about their future apart. It was like he was living in denial and was determined to stay there as long as possible. While Armie knew it wasn’t healthy for him to avoid the topic forever, he wasn’t going to force Timmy to think about it when he didn’t want to. Timmy was the most mature person he knew - even amongst the adults Armie knew - and he would face it eventually. 

Clearing his throat, Armie tried to get them back on track. “So, like I said we both know a lot about each other. That’s why I think this trivia game idea will be a good - and fun - way to settle the question of who knows each other the best. We could have our own version of TOW the Embryos.”

Timmy snorted. _Friends_ was one of their favorite shows and that episode was one of their favorites. He nodded. “That makes sense. Who would make up the questions?”

“We can ask Porthos and see if she can take time away from her ‘hosting’ duties,” Armie suggested.

Timmy groaned. “Probably shouldn’t call her that if you want her to do any favors for us.”

“What?” Armie shrugged. “I didn’t say it to her face and it’s not like I called her Three.”

“Please, don’t not unless you want her to put her foot up your ass.” Timmy grimaced.

He wasn’t exaggerating. Saoirse loathed that nickname. Coming up with it wasn’t one of Armie’s more mature moments, though in his defense he was only ten-years-old at the time. 

It was the summer when Marc and Nicole had generously invited the Hammers to come with them when they went to France to visit some of Marc’s family. It was the first time Armie had been outside of the US and, even though he spent a lot of that time having no idea what anyone around him was talking about, it was the best summer of his life. 

He and Timmy basically spent every waking moment together. They went swimming a lot, saw movies almost every day, and they were both spoiled rotten by Timmy’s grandmother. 

At one point, Timmy had even tried to teach Armie a few phrases in French but almost none of it took, so they just created their own ridiculous and funny secret language. It was like the old days when it was just the two of them. 

It was the first significant period they’d spent apart from Saoirse since they’d become friends in the third grade. He considered her a great friend, but until that summer he hadn’t realized how much he sometimes missed getting time to be with just Timmy. 

When they got back home, he and Timmy told Saoirse all about their trip. She listened, but Armie could tell it wasn’t a favorite topic of hers. Her mood soured every time they brought it up. She hadn’t been shy about telling them how much she hated the thought of being left behind when they had told her about going to France for the whole summer. 

After that first day, whenever Armie or Timmy started to tell a funny story about their summer or started to share some sort of in-joke, Saoirse would find some way to interrupt and change the subject. 

Finally, he got so annoyed Armie made a joke about how it was much easier to tell stories without an interrupting third wheel. If it were at all possible Armie was sure he would have seen steam coming out of her ears. 

Instead of her reaction making Armie back off with those sorts of jokes, it just spurred him on. He had always loved to tease Saoirse and treat her like a bratty kid sister. He started constantly making third wheel jokes and eventually started referring to her as number three and then just calling her Three.

It hadn’t occurred to him that she was truly upset about it until one day, Armie made a joke in front of the other kids in gym class about how funny it would be if they picked “Three” third for dodgeball teams. Suddenly, Saoirse just ran off and when he and Timmy followed her they were shocked to see her crying. 

She spat out that if Armie didn’t want her hanging around them anymore, he should just say so. Armie said he didn’t know where she would get that idea. When she explained that calling her a third wheel made her feel unwanted, he felt like the biggest jerk in the world.

While there was always a tiny part of him a little jealous that Timmy had another best friend, he loved Saoirse and would never want to hurt her. From then on, he stopped calling her that. While he would sometimes call her Porthos - another nickname she disliked - behind her back, he rarely ever referred to her as “Three” even when joking around with Timmy.

“Yeah, that wouldn’t be fun.” He wrinkled his nose as he imagined Saoirse trying to put her foot up his ass. He wouldn’t put it past her to really try it. “I probably shouldn’t even joke about it. Besides, I doubt we could drag her away from Ansel right now. We don’t really need her to come up with questions anyway. We can do it.”

“Right. It is supposed to be about how well we know each other. Who better to come up with the questions than us?” Timmy glanced behind him. “Should we go to the ballroom and get some drinks?”

Armie shook his head. “No. There was a bar in the living room and there should be plenty of alcohol.”

When they got back to the living room and checked behind the bar, Armie saw that he was right. They chose a bottle of vodka. He started collecting some shot glasses and put them on top of the bar.

“I suppose at the end of this game, unlike on the show, we won’t actually be changing houses.” Timmy chuckled as he sat down smoothing his hands along the glass-top of the bar.

“Sadly, no as awesome as that would be.” Armie frowned as he poured vodka into the glasses.

Timmy stared at him under his lashes. Finally, he leaned against the bar. “You distracted me before but you know I didn’t forget what you said about your parents, right?”

Briefly squeezing his eyes shut, Armie opened them and focused on the task at hand. “Can you just pretend that you did for a little while longer?”

Timmy put his hand over Armie’s wrist and stopped him mid-pour. “You can talk to me about anything! You know that?”

With a soft sigh, Armie put down the bottle. He turned his hand around and gripped Timmy’s hand. “I know that. Of course, I know that. I just...I’m not ready yet. I promise we can talk about it tomorrow. Okay?” 

Timmy looked down at their joined hands and nodded slowly. “Okay.” He gently removed his hand and sat back. “But since I’m backing off, for now, you have to promise not to bring up the subject of my dating life, or lack thereof.”

Armie resumed pouring. “Fine. That seems fair.”

It would probably be a very easy promise to keep. Talking about Timmy dating was a difficult subject for him. Just seeing Timmy flirting with DJ Scam was like someone rubbing ground glass in Armie’s eyes. The thought of him actually dating someone - having to see Timmy being loved by someone else, being kissed...He felt bile rising up in his throat and he had to pause to get his emotions under control. 

For a long time, it was something he didn’t think about because he really didn’t have to. Timmy barely dated and Armie never really stopped to think about it other than being incredibly grateful. When Timmy briefly dated Saoirse’s friend Kiernan, he saw them kissing by Timmy’s locker once and he got so upset he fled to a spot under the bleachers. 

He, Timmy, and Saoirse sort of considered it their spot and they would each go there sometimes when they needed to be alone or all three would gather when one of them needed comforting. Even though he tried to stop it, the tears started to flow heavily and he had sat there for an hour trying to calm down. 

When Saoirse brought it up one day that Timmy hadn’t dated a single person in over a year, Armie had to finally consider it and realized it was somewhat odd. Timmy was the greatest human being on the planet. He should have all walks of life knocking down his door to date him. 

At first, Timmy’s explanation that he wanted to focus on his music placated Armie, but the longer this went on, the more it bothered Armie.

Yes, for the most part, Armie didn’t want Timmy to date, anyone. There was a point where he actually thought to himself that maybe it would be okay if Timmy never dated. As soon as that thought left his brain, it hit him how horribly selfish it was.

Armie might not be in love with Elizabeth, but he got to be with someone. Saoirse had Ansel. And yet Timmy didn’t have anyone. 

It wasn’t right. 

Thinking of Timmy being lonely for a single second tore him up inside. He was far too sweet and loving to deserve to live like that. Yes, it would hurt to see Timmy with someone else, but maybe it would be easier the sooner it happened. It would give Armie a chance to get used to the idea and learn to deal with it because eventually, he would have to. Timmy would not be alone forever. That much he knew.

The other thing he knew was that whoever Timmy ended up with, that person would be the luckiest person alive - and the person Armie hated most in the entire world. Well, he would probably hate himself even more for being too cowardly to tell Timmy how he felt. Maybe seeing Timmy with someone else was the punishment he deserved.

He swallowed down his emotions and tried to remember that this moment was supposed to be fun. He painted on a smile and he and Timmy went to sit on the gray loveseat and set their myriad of glasses down on the glass table in front of it. They turned to each other.

“So, who goes first?” Timmy chewed on his bottom lip.

Armie stuffed his hand down his pocket. “I think I might have some change in my wallet.” He pulled it out and retrieved a quarter. 

Before, putting his thick black leather wallet away he looked at one of the pics of him and Timmy and Saoirse. It was on their first day of the fourth grade. All three were sitting on the island in Timmy’s kitchen. They hadn’t planned it this way but they all had a flag motif going on - Armie with a navy blue t-shirt, Timmy with red sneakers - his jeans tucked into them like always - and Saoirse with a white halter top. Armie had his arm around Timmy and Saoirse was sitting on the other side of him with her head on Timmy’s shoulder.

Taking the picture out he showed it to Timmy who beamed at the picture and then up at Armie. 

After he put the picture and his wallet away, Armie flipped the coin. In honor of the _Friends_ episode, neither of them called it.

They both chuckled and before Armie flipped it again, he smirked. “Alright, somebody call it this time.”

After he tossed it in the air, Timmy shouted, “heads.”

It landed in Armie’s palm and when he opened it, he showed it to Timmy. “Heads.”

“Okay.” Timmy slid his hands down his thighs and pursed his lips. After a minute of thought, he looked up at Armie. “What was the first song I taught myself to play on the piano?”

Armie had to laugh, that wasn’t a hard one at all. “That awesome cover of The Pixies’ ‘Where is My Mind.’”

Timmy grinned and pointed at his nose.

Even though neither of them was allowed to see it, Timmy and Armie had watched _Fight Club_ when they were eleven. Armie instantly fell in love with it. He loved the song that played at the end - “Where is My Mind” - and he played it incessantly. 

A couple of weeks after they saw it, Timmy showed him this piano cover of the song he found on YouTube. Timmy adored it and thought it was better than the original. 

Instead of asking his piano tutor to teach it to him, Timmy found the sheet music online and learned to play it in a couple of weeks. He had been bowled over when Timmy had played it for him. His mouth was open and he just stared silently at Timmy the whole time. He couldn’t stop hugging and shaking Timmy after he finished, so impressed with his best friend’s talent. 

Timmy played a lot of beautiful, classical music but for Armie, it was still hands down his favorite thing to hear him play.

Still chuckling, it didn’t take Armie long to think of his first question. Since Timmy had gone easy on him, he would return the favor. “What was the first book I ever finished on my own?”

Timmy’s lips parted in a wide grin and he danced in his seat. “It would really suck if I didn’t remember that. _Stink: The Incredible Shrinking Kid_ ,” he said with well-earned confidence.

The reason it would suck if he didn’t remember it was because it was sort of the reason they became friends in the first place. 

Armie’s family moved to Berkeley when he was five. It was after his paternal grandfather Julian died. They moved there so his dad could run the family’s foundation. Dru and Michael mostly kept to themselves and didn’t interact much with any neighbors, even their closest neighbors, the Chalamets. Once they decided that their neighbors were worthy enough - i.e well off enough - and realized that it would be better to have some close allies around, they hosted a party in which everyone was encouraged to bring the entire family.

Nicole and Marc brought Pauline and Timmy. The older kids like Pauline and Viktor immediately splintered off to play outside. Most of the other younger kids stuck close to their parents. Timmy sat by himself on a couch and read. Armie hovered between the door to the patio and the living room. He pretended to play with his action figures while surreptitiously watching Timmy.

He’d been intrigued by the apple-cheeked, curly-haired boy since he first saw him. Timmy was so close with his sister and was just so carefree and allowed to explore his surroundings, climb things, get dirty - just be a kid. It was so unfamiliar to Armie. He found himself jealous of the boy but couldn’t help finding his laughter infectious at times. 

Other than jealousy, another thing holding him back from introducing himself to the boy was Armie had no friends and had no idea how to make them so he wasn’t sure how to approach Timmy now that he was in his home. 

Another problem was that Timmy was reading. Books and reading were a sore subject for Armie. While he could read short, picture books his reading level hadn’t advanced, especially not the way his parents wanted. They hired him a reading tutor and were constantly telling him how Viktor was already reading chapter books at that stage. 

The book Timmy was reading looked like books his parents would read, only thinner.

Putting his toys down, he picked up a thick book from the bottom of the bookshelf lining the right wall. He went and sat on the opposite end of the couch from Timmy. The smaller boy briefly glanced up with a shy smile and said hello. Unfortunately, Armie briefly got tongue-tied which made him even more embarrassed. Eventually, he croaked out a quick greeting.

He sat there and snuck glances at Timmy while pretending to read. Whenever Timmy turned the page, Armie did as well. 

This went on for a few minutes until Viktor came bounding back into the room. He sat down next to Armie and immediately started to laugh when he saw the book in Armie’s hand. 

“What’re you doing with that? You can barely read your own books.” Viktor chuckled and shook his head. “You can’t read one of mom’s.” He marched over to the bookshelf and pulled out a much thinner book. “You have to get better with this before you can read a grown-up book, Squirt.” He took the other book out of Armie’s hands and replaced it with the Dr. Seuss book.

It was probably the most humiliated Armie had been in his whole life. He hunched over as he could feel his face growing hot. He stared straight down at the yellow book and didn’t dream of sneaking any peeks over at the new boy.

When he saw Armie’s sad expression, Viktor’s smug look fell a little and he reached down and tousled Armie’s short hair. “You’ll get there someday.” And with that, he ran back outside.

If he didn’t think it would be more embarrassing, Armie would have tossed the book down and fled from the room. Not only did their new neighbor know he could barely read, but now he knew that Armie was a big fat faker. As he felt his bottom lip begin to quiver, he decided he would risk the additional embarrassment and started to get up.

Suddenly, he felt the cushion beside him dip and when he reluctantly turned he was met with bright, green eyes and a smiling face.

“I’m Timmy.” He stuck out his hand.

Armie wrinkled his nose. “I thought your name was Timothy?”

“That’s my full name.” Timmy grinned. “Timmy is short for Timothy. Actually, it’s really pronounced Timothée,” he rattled this off like something that he hadn’t gotten used to having to explain.

“Teem...o...tee,” Armie said slowly, not getting it quite right.

Timmy put his hand up to his face and the sound of his laughter was muffled. “That was good. Better than most people.”

He felt a swell of pride at Timmy’s comment.

“You can just call me Timmy. That’s what everybody does.”

“Okay, Timmy. My name’s Armand Douglas Hammer, but most everybody just calls me Armie.”

There was a twinkle in his eye as he held out his hand again. “Okay. Armie Dougie Hammer.”

Armie giggled before shaking Timmy’s hand properly. He was starting to forget why he was so upset in the first place.

Looking down, Timmy took the book out of Armie’s hand. “ _One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish_ ,” he said the name of the book fondly. “I really like that one.”

“It’s a baby’s book.” Armie’s shoulders drooped and he picked at his shorts.

“Dr. Seuss is always fun.” Timmy handed the book back to him. “And my mama says everyone has to start somewhere.” He picked up the book he had been reading. “She’s been helping me read this for a long time. I’m finally starting to read it on my own. I’m still making mistakes.”

It did actually help him to know that Timmy was still struggling just like he was.

“If you want, I can read it to you and try and help you the way my mama helps me,” Timmy suggested.

At first, Armie was hesitant and didn’t know if he would feel like a baby if Timmy read to him, but when he looked at Timmy he saw how sincere he was and he believed he did just want to help. Armie bit his nails and nodded shyly.

They scooched closer together and Armie pointed at Timmy’s book. “What’s it called?”

“ _Stink: The Incredible Shrinking Kid.” Timmy flipped the pages and went to the beginning._

_“That sounds cool.” Armie chuckled as he took a closer look at the first page._

_“Mama says it’s perfect because Stink has an annoying, older sister, too,” Timmy replied._

_Armie snorted, quickly covering his mouth before sliding his hand down to speak. “I have an annoying older brother.”_

_“Big kids can be so dumb.”_

_They both giggled and without thinking about it, Armie moved closer to him._

_He was starting to feel at ease with Timmy and feeling so comfortable already. He wished he hadn’t put off meeting Timmy for so long._

_Timmy started reading. He did stumble over a couple of words, but he was doing really well. He stopped and pointed at his place in the book. “Try reading that.”_

_Armie ran his hand through his hair and tugged nervously at it. “Ok. ‘I have to drink at the baby f...f..fo…’” He stopped and pressed his lips together tightly as he just couldn’t make out the next word._

_Out of nowhere, Timmy kicked his shin._

_“Ow,” Armie yelled._

_“That’s it. That’s the next sound,” Timmy offered while looking somewhat apologetic._

_“Ow?”_

_Timmy nodded._

_“Fow..n...tane?” He peered up at Timmy with a questioning look._

_“Tin,” Timmy corrected._

_Armie was confused for a second then figured out what Timmy meant. “Oh! Foun...tin...Fountain!” He hopped in his seat as he finished._

_“Yes!” Timmy whooped, clapping his hand against Armie’s shoulder._

_After momentarily basking in getting it right, Armie reached down and rubbed at his shin. “Your mother kicks you to learn?”_

_“No.” Timmy shook his head. “But it worked, didn’t it?”_

_Shooting him a brief mock glare, Armie sat up and couldn’t keep a bright smile from blooming on his face. He didn’t know why, but he felt even happier for his achievement because Timmy looked so proud._

_They continued reading the book with Timmy stopping every so often to get Armie to read a word or sentence. By the end, Armie did learn a couple of words he had struggled with before._

_Soon, Timmy put the book aside. He sighed. “Sometimes I have more fun making up my own stories.”_

_Armie cocked his head to the side. “What kind of stories?”_

_“Just silly ones.” Timmy shrugged. “Like…” He bit his lip and stared off into the distance before looking at Armie with a grin. “There’s this giant boy named Petey. Except he’s not a normal boy. He’s a bird. A talking bird.”_

_“Like Big Bird?” Armie asked with wide eyes._

_“Yes.” Timmy nodded with enthusiasm. “Except he’s-”_

_“Purple!” Armie exclaimed before he clamped his mouth shut. “Sorry.”_

_Timmy shook his head. “No, that’s good. I like it. My color was green, but I like purple.”_

_Armie grinned from ear to ear._

_“Purple Petey would be the tallest creature in the land except he wasn’t because of his brother…” Timmy raised his eyebrows and looked at Armie._

_“Oh…” Armie tapped his chin. “His brother...Vlad!”_

_Timmy snorted. “Vlad is the tallest in the land. He’s always doing things better than Petey. Vlad learned to fly when he was one. Petey only learned when he was two. When Petey learned to lay eggs…”_

_“Vlad could breathe fire and it was all his parents could talk about.”_

_“Petey got tired of it. He told his brother he wanted to race. A race…”_

_“To outer space.”_

_After Timmy dissolved into giggles, Armie couldn’t hold back either and joined him. Maybe this was an exaggeration, but as he tried to catch his breath Armie thought this was the most fun he’d ever had in his short life._

_Finally, Timmy composed himself to continue. “A race to outer space and the brother who won would be named the most awesome and fastest creature on the planet.”_

_“And the loser would have to do the dishes for the next thousand years!” Armie added._

_“Birds don’t do dishes.” Timmy frowned._

_“Birds don’t talk either.” Armie shot back._

_“You’re right!” Timmy conceded and then chuckled as he looked at Armie. “You’re good at this!”_

_“You are, too!” Armie felt warm all over by the praise._

_By the time, Timmy’s parents came to collect him they hadn’t finished their story. In the end, they had added a flying, rainbow-striped dragon named Toby. Petey, Vlad, and Toby somehow ended up at Hogwarts._

_The two begged their parents to let Armie go over to Timmy’s the next day. They were overjoyed when they agreed._

_Armie was filled with so many emotions as he said good-bye to his new - and only - friend. He was sad that Timmy had to leave, but he was so excited and happy to finally have a friend._

_After that night, the two were pretty much inseparable._

_Another result of that night was Armie actually paid attention to his reading tutor and worked extra hard to get better with his reading and by the end of the first grade, his reading level was right there with Timmy’s._

_Timmy opened up Armie’s imagination and a love of storytelling grew from that. A love that he still had to this day. It was one of many things he felt he owed Timmy. His life never would have been the same without him - or without _Stink: The Incredible Shrinking Kid.__

_With that easy question out of the way, they moved on with the game. The next questions didn’t get any harder and they were still tied up after that._

_“What’s my favorite episode of TV ever?” Timmy asked his third question._

_This one was slightly harder than the previous two. Armie was almost tempted to guess something from _The Office_ , but even though that show was Timmy’s absolute favorite, it didn’t have his favorite episode. After he thought about it for another minute, the answer suddenly came to him. _

_It was an episode where the first time they watched it, Timmy snorted out the juice he was drinking. They’d watched it at least fifty times and Timmy laughed just as hard every time._

_“TO at the Beach.”_

_“Yep.” A look of amusement crossed Timmy’s face and he chuckled. “It’s ridiculous that the sight of a bald woman still makes me laugh like I’m 12-years-old.”_

_Armie definitely knew what he meant and laughed along with him. As he thought about the episode, a wild idea started to form in his head. He flicked his eyes up towards Timmy. There was probably not a chance in a million years that Timmy would agree to it, but if he did...The thought of what would happen if he won, propelled him to speak._

_“You remember in that episode how Joey kept wanting them to play strip poker and then they end up playing strip _Happy Days_ game instead?” Armie watched him to see if Timmy could pick up where he was going with this. It didn’t seem like he did as he stared at Armie blankly._

_“Of course,” Timmy said._

_Armie cleared his throat and smoothed his hands across his thighs. “What if we did something like that?”_

_“What are you talking about?” Timmy stiffened and the blood seemed to drain from his face._

_“Well, we’re supposed to be playing this game to see who knows the other better and we keep asking such easy questions. I thought maybe we could spice things up a bit and add some real stakes. So, for every question we get wrong we take off an item of clothing. In the end, whoever is completely naked...loses.” If Timmy ended up completely naked, Armie would absolutely consider that a major win._

_Leaning over, Timmy picked up a shot glass and downed the contents. He swallowed. “You want to...You want us to...We can’t…” His eyes flitted to the living room door. “I don’t think we can get naked in here. What if someone bursts in?”_

_“Are you scared?” Armie decided to tease him and see if that would loosen Timmy up. “Suddenly Mr.Cocky isn’t so confident? If you actually do know me better than I know you then you have no reason to worry about getting naked. I’ll be getting naked.”_

_Timmy blinked at him slowly and then just stopped blinking._

_After a few seconds of this, he started to worry that Timmy had a stroke or something._

_Suddenly, Timmy looked down as he rubbed his hand along the back of his neck. “You’re right. I definitely won’t be the one losing here.” He let out a slightly nervous laugh, but then he looked up and there was a look Armie couldn’t place in his eyes. “Get ready to get naked, Hammer.”_

_There was a sudden pit in Armie’s stomach. He had 80% confidence that he would win, but he didn’t know what would happen if he didn’t. If he had to get naked in front of Timmy and feel his gorgeous eyes watching him in his most vulnerable state...What if he saw the effects his stare had on him in a way Armie could no longer hide. This could end up being a total disaster._

_He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to push those thoughts aside. He had this. It helped that he was extremely motivated now. With a wide grin that conveyed confidence he was still struggling to achieve, he nodded toward Timmy._

_“I’m pretty sure it was your turn, Chalamet.”_

_“Wrong.” Timmy leaned forward with a smirk. “I have a feeling that’s not the last time I’m going to say that tonight. I asked the last question and then you came up with this strip trivia idea, so now it’s your turn.”_

_Timmy seemed to have recovered from his initial reaction to this idea and now seemed very confident, which was unnerving him. “Oh.” Armie could feel his cheeks getting red. “Right. Okay, so...um…” This had to be a good one. The sooner Timmy got naked, the better. Finally, Armie thought he had a hard one. “What was the score at the end of my first game as a quarterback?”_

_While Timmy had attended every one of Armie’s games, he was sure Timmy wouldn’t remember an actual-_

_“28-27.”_

_Damnit!_

_“It’s our birthdays,” Timmy expanded on his answer._

_Armie really wanted to kick himself. Of course, Timmy would remember for the same reason he remembered that score. Rookie mistake._

_“Okay, my turn,” Timmy said a little too eagerly for Armie’s liking. “What now is my biggest fear?”_

_The question had Armie pausing in thought. It was a deceptively hard question because Timmy had two huge fears - heights and a fear of flying. He was so afraid of heights he never went up to his family’s attic. When he was seven, his family attempted to take a trip to France, but immediately after take-off, he got so agitated and created such a disturbance they had to turn the plane around._

_It still wasn’t easy for Timmy to fly though it got a little easier for him the older he got. And, it was especially easy when he got to fly with Armie by his side._

_Since he wasn’t sure which was actually his biggest fear, Armie was inclined to guess it was both and was what he was about to answer when he remembered Timmy’s exact question. “What _now_ is my biggest fear?” While he would always be afraid of flying and heights, it wasn’t currently his biggest worry._

_“You probably thought I was going to say flying or height.” He lifted his head. “But since I know you so well, I know that right now your biggest fear is not getting into Juilliard.”_

_After a brief nod to acknowledge Armie’s correct response, Timmy’s shoulders sagged as he stared down at the floor._

_“Which is not something I really think you need to worry about.” He reached over and gripped Timmy’s knee. “I know I haven’t met every pianist out there, but I think I can say with confidence that you are the best pianist on the planet. Scratch that, the best piano player in any galaxy.”_

_“In the galaxy, huh?” The corners of Timmy’s mouth twitched. “Do you think there are piano playing Asgardians?”_

_“Absolutely,” he said without missing a beat. “And Gods or not your playing is more than likely miles better.”_

_The slow-spreading smile on Timmy’s face lit up his whole face and the whole room. “Thanks,” he said peering up at Armie through his lashes._

_He simply nodded, happy that he got the answer right, but even happier he was able to lift Timmy’s spirits as much as possible._

_“Your turn,” Timmy said._

_No one had gotten anything wrong yet. Armie stared at Timmy’s clothes and glared at them as if they were conspiring against him. He searched his mind for an out-there question he thought Timmy wouldn’t know the answer to. His thoughts turned to his family and how much even he didn’t know a lot about his extended family. He was sure Timmy wouldn’t know much either._

_“Okay,” he cleared his throat. “What was my great Aunt Mildred’s first dog’s name?”_

_“Are you kidding me?” Timmy blinked up at him._

_“What?” Armie shrugged._

_“That’s not a good question. These are supposed to be questions about us. That question is about your great aunt,” Timmy explained._

_“Right. _My_ aunt,” he responded as if there was no questioning the legitimacy of his question._

_“An aunt you barely know or care about. The last time you saw her was...ten years ago,” Timmy said, sounding more annoyed as he went on._

_“How dare you!” Armie clutched his hand to his chest. “My great aunt is precious to me and so was that dog. Whose name was?”_

_Timmy groaned. He closed his eyes and looked deep in concentration._

_Armie doubted it would help. Timmy was right. The last time Armie had seen her was ten years ago. She’d been visiting California and stopped by their house briefly. Timmy had been over at the time and he and Armie had played with the black and white collie. It was a brief meeting and given that they were seven years old at the time, Armie didn’t think Timmy would remember the name._

_“I think your aunt’s voice was distinctive,” Timmy said with his eyes still closed. He always had a good memory when it came to voices. “She sounded like an English-speaking Jabba the Hutt.”_

_The sound of her voice instantly rang in his ears and Timmy actually wasn’t exaggerating. Armie chortled loudly._

_“I’m pretty sure she called the dog…” Timmy looked up with a satisfied grin. “Mickey.”_

_His eyes bugged slightly before Armie quickly stared down at his lap. God damn, that was a good guess. Now, he wasn’t sure how to handle this. Technically...that was sort of the right answer. He chewed on his bottom lip before deciding what to do._

_He tried to look as defeated as possible, sighing as he ran his hand over his face. “Damn, you have an excellent memory! That was really a good guess...except I’ve consulted the judges and I’m afraid I just can’t give it to you.”_

_Timmy’s brow furrowed. “Was his name Mickey or not?”_

_“Well, my great aunt was a big Rolling Stones fan. She named her first dog - and all of her subsequent dogs - after members of the band. Of course, she started with the lead singer and she named her dog...Mick.”_

_“But she did call him Mickey, right?” Timmy scratched his head. “Or did I imagine that?”_

_Armie shook his head. “No, she did call him that a few times.”_

_“So, I was right.”_

_“No.”_

_“Armie!” Timmy glared at him with a look that perfectly read “Are you fucking kidding me?”_

_“Timmy!” Armie mocked him as gently as possible. “I’m sorry, but technically, you got it wrong. She called him Mickey a few times, like a nickname. I asked you what his _name_ was. It was Mick.”_

_It took everything in Armie to keep from collapsing in laughter when Timmy actually growled._

_“That is a ridiculously thin technicality,” Timmy insisted._

_Armie just shrugged. A small part of him did feel a little guilty because Timmy was right. He could give Timmy the win on the question if he wanted, but the bigger part of him that desperately wanted to see Timmy naked overruled the other part._

_Since he knew Armie as well as he did, Timmy didn’t give up right away. He deployed his secret weapon - he stuck out his bottom lip and pouted while leveling a soft, pleading stare up at him with his perfect green, puppy dog eyes._

_“Come on, Armie. You know I was right.”_

_Knowing that look would be the death of him, Armie turned away immediately. It didn’t really matter. Even with just witnessing a second of that look, he was starting to waver but he closed his eyes tightly and shook the image from his head. “Sorry, no.”_

_When he peered up at Timmy, he looked as surprised as Armie felt. They had the type of friendship where they ordinarily didn’t fight. On the rare occasions they did, Armie was usually the first to give in or apologize. He hated seeing Timmy upset under any circumstances, but tonight there were very special circumstances - potentially naked circumstances - so Armie had to stand his ground._

_Finally, Timmy exhaled slowly. “Okay.”_

_While he did sound annoyed, his expression was more of an amused irritation which put Armie somewhat at ease. With his guilt subsiding, he grinned at Timmy. “Alright, you know the penalty. Time to see the Chalagoods!”_

_Timmy threw his head back and let out a long, wheezing laugh. “I still don’t think what you just did was cool... but that was good.”_

_“Chalagood.”_

_Bowing his head slightly, Timmy shook his head, with a sweet smile still gracing his face. It didn’t take long though for his demeanor to change. The smile dropped and with his head still bowed, his hand traveled up his body._

_When Armie saw that all humorous thoughts left his mind. He didn’t think Timmy would start with removing his shirt, but he was certainly not unhappy with the direction this was heading. This was the stuff of fantasies - his fantasies. All that was missing was more nudity and Timmy being wet (Armie’s mind seemed to be fixated lately on getting Timmy as wet as possible.)_

_As Timmy toyed with the top black button, Armie’s eyes were transfixed on that spot. Right now, he desperately wished for the powers of telekinesis - all of Timmy’s buttons would be gone and his shirt a heap on the floor by now._

_After another second of teasing, Timmy’s hands dropped and he leaned down and quickly took off his sneaker._

_If Timmy was trying to get him back for saying he got the last question wrong - mission accomplished! He felt like a deflated balloon and his mind was still spinning in a lust-filled haze. One of his fists discretely dug into the couch and he had to stop himself from audibly groaning._

_As he tossed his shoe aside, Timmy smirked. “You looked pretty eager to see my goods.”_

_Armie swallowed twice before he was able to answer. While removing his white knuckle grip from the couch, he sat back and tried to appear nonchalant. He let out a strained laugh. “You know me, Timmy, I always play to win.”_

_“That’s funny,” Timmy replied as he leaned forward with a steely look in his eye. He grabbed a shot glass and knocked it back. “I do, too.” He licked his lips._

_It took every effort from Armie to remember how to breathe when he watched Timmy’s tongue travel along his plump bottom lip. But it’s when he looked into Timmy’s eyes that’s when he knew he was really in trouble. With the determined look in his eye, he knew Timmy was not messing around. It was definitely game on now._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @filmgeekstacey on Tumblr


	5. Should've Known Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The party ends - not before one relationship is changed forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I know a lot of people said I shouldn't apologize for long chapters so I won't apologize here but just warn that this is a loooooong one! About 13k. 
> 
> The bulk of the chapter is the continuation of the trivia game between Armie and Timmy, but a lot of developments happen within the game and beyond the game.
> 
> Warning for rough sex and some violence.
> 
> Thanks again to Shimmeringstarss for looking this over!

It took everything for Saoirse to keep herself from squirming and not to grimace. When Ansel looked down at her, an equal mix of anxiety and frustration in his eyes, she tried to smile to reassure him. This was supposed to be an enjoyable experience for both of them. They were having sex - or more accurately - _attempting_ to have sex but they were having issues. These particular issues had been going on for a while. 

They had been having sex since the beginning of the summer. While Ansel had his fair share of teenage boy impatience and put pressure on her a few times, he had mostly been good about respecting Saoirse’s boundaries when it came to sex. When their third anniversary was coming up, she thought it would be the perfect time to take that final momentous step with him.

It thrilled her - and surprised her - that they really had been able to make it together for so long. She had no reservations about how much she loved him and didn’t think there was anyone else she wanted to be with - possibly ever.

Perhaps it was naive, but she had assumed sex with Ansel would be great because their limited sex life up until then had been really good. When they kissed - and then moved on to having oral sex - the boy knew how to work his tongue amazingly well. Saoirse was always satisfied.

Unfortunately, when they finally did have sex for the first time satisfied was not even close to how she would describe how she felt afterward. Ansel had trouble getting his cock inside her. What made it worse was his hesitation to use lube which was on top of lack of foreplay or preparation beforehand.

Once he did finally get inside, his approach to sex was not leisurely and unselfish, as their encounters were before. He used the jackhammer approach and pumped inside of her at a furious pace for a minute or less and then came and was done. He never bothered to see if she came as well. She was on her own there. 

It happened like that each time. At first, she really did try and be patient. They were both virgins learning their way after all. Maybe sex wouldn’t be earth-shaking for awhile. The only problem with that excuse was Ansel didn’t want to learn. When Saoirse even tried to guide him or make any suggestions, he acted as if she had mortally wounded him. 

Tonight, he had spent minutes trying to maneuver his way inside and even when he managed to get the tip in, it would pop out right away. Looking at him, she could tell he was getting frustrated too. He was biting his lip hard and staring down as if he was trying to get inside her through the power of his mind. There was a fury in his eyes that didn’t exactly put Saoirse in an amorous mood.

Things weren’t helped by the fact that after being unsuccessful for so long Ansel wasn’t very hard. Seeing this, she decided to try and help. Reaching down, she touched his cock and tried to start stroking it but he brushed her hand away.

“Let me do it,” he gritted out.

 _If you could do it, this would already be over and I would probably still be reeling from disappointment_. Of course, she didn’t say that out loud. “I will let you, but you’re getting soft and it would probably work better if you were really hard.”

“What makes you the expert?” Ansel paused and glared down at her.

“I’m not an expert, but it just seems like common sense.”

Ansel scoffed. “If you would stop talking and let me concentrate…”

“Talking shouldn’t be a problem. Why don’t you just use some lube?” Saoirse threw a glance toward the nightstand where she knew the lube was since she had bought it and put it there herself.

“I don’t need it. You’re not some old lady.” He bit his lip and gripped his cock and started prodding at her again.

She tried to stop it, but she couldn’t hold back an eye-roll.

Letting go of his cock, he narrowed his eyes. “I could really make do without the attitude. Try and be encouraging instead of just lying there.”

She pushed against his shoulders and he hovered further away from her as she glowered at him with wide eyes. “The reason I’ve just been laying here for what felt like days with you poking at me with your penis is that every time I try to suggest anything or help you literally brush me aside so you can ‘concentrate.’ What exactly do you suggest I should be doing?”

“You haven’t kissed me or told me how well I’m doing or how much you love me. How hard would it be to say something like that?”

“Harder than you, apparently.” As soon as the acid-tinged words flew out of her mouth, she closed her eyes and winced.

He just blinked down at her clearly beyond pissed. With the look he was giving her, she was sure he would just stop completely so she was caught off guard when he stroked himself for a few seconds and pushed fully inside with one hard thrust.

“Fuck!” It felt like the air got knocked out of her and she tensed up. Her head fell to his shoulder and she had to breathe in deeply. It hurt and she needed time to adjust. 

Instead of reading the signs from her, Ansel plowed ahead. The bed shook with how hard he was pounding into her. Saoirse didn’t even get a chance to speak before he quickly stiffened with a quiet groan and slumped against her.

Without even looking at her, he pulled out and collapsed on the other side of the bed, breathing hard. The lack of acknowledgment that she was even there wasn’t a surprise. As she lay there blinking up at the ceiling, feeling like some kind of blow-up doll, she was done. 

Things couldn’t go on like this.

Before she could say anything, Ansel slowly dragged himself up and sat with his back to her. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Sersh, I think - I think this isn’t working.”

Her anger started to dissipate as she listened to him. He sounded so tired. “I know.”

“We need to make a change.”

“You’re right.” She sat up and put her hand on his shoulder. “We just need to get some advice or something. I can look up something online about how to make the sex more enjoyable.”

He whipped his head around and his withering gaze could cut glass. “I’m sorry you’re not enjoying yourself.”

“You just said this isn’t working. So, you can’t really be enjoying it, either,” she said as gently as possible.

His shoulders slumped. “You’re right.” He sighed. “I’m not really enjoying any of it.”

“What does that mean?” She whispered. There was something about the way he said it that made her start to feel uneasy - a sadness to his voice.

“This relationship isn’t making me happy anymore. I think it might have run its course.” He explained without looking at her.

As the implications of what he just said became clearer to her, she could feel the tears start to pool in her eyes. She blinked them away furiously. Her hand slowly slid from his shoulder. “Are you saying ...? You want to break up?”

Ansel nodded. 

Along with a building sadness, there was a deep anger welling in her gut. She couldn’t believe that he would do this right after they had sex, after three years he would dump her and barely give her the respect of looking her in the eye - it was too much. She jumped up from the bad and glared at him with fiery eyes. 

“You’re dumping me because you’re bad at sex?!”

Ansel shot up right away and faced her. “That isn’t true!” It looked like he was going to keep going but then he didn’t continue and his eyes trailed down to her chest.

Peering down, Saoirse realized she was still naked. Horrified, she scrambled to find her dress and underwear. Once she collected them, she frowned. In Ansel’s excitement to get her undressed, he tore part of her dress and the side of her underwear. 

“I can’t even believe this,” she grumbled as she yanked her ruined dress over her head. “We just had sex!”

“Bad sex, according to you,” Ansel whined as he put on his underwear and grabbed his clothes. “This is part of the problem. Not that I’m bad at sex, but that you’re not supportive. You’re constantly criticizing me. Nothing’s ever good enough. You don’t like my friends or my parents. You don’t like who I am.”

She looked at him as if he’d grown two heads. There was a sliver of truth to part of what he was saying. She didn’t like his friends or his parents. His friends were snobs. The reason she didn’t like his parents was that they spent 80 percent of their time away from Ansel and the bare minimum of time they were around they tried to teach him that he was better than everyone else and that he should be allowed to treat people like dirt.

But the rest of it was complete garbage.

“How can you look at me with a straight face and say I’m not supportive? My friends _hated_ you and I defended you and dated you anyway. I hate football and I go to every one of your games. When I’m not helping the crew, I am in the front row of every one of your performances. Yeah, I hate your friends but I never get in their faces or tell them what I really think of them. I cheer you on no matter what like tonight. I helped you with that speech. But I’m ‘not supportive?’ I criticize you constantly?” She shook her head. “Look, if you want to break-up with me, I guess I can’t stop you, but I’ll be damned if you create some convenient narrative where I’m the bitch and you’re some long-suffering victim. That is bullshit!”

Ansel stalked closer to her and jabbed his finger in her direction. “It is not bullshit! I asked you when I’m the lead not to work on the crew so you could actually be there for me for every performance, but you did what you wanted anyway. And, be honest, you’re there at every game more for Armie than for me. I want to be with someone who thinks of me as their number one priority. With you, I’m number three at best. I always rank below Armie and Timmy.”

“That’s not fair! You know how important my friends are to me. For fuck’s sake, you said that was one of the reasons you liked me in the first place, but I never put them ahead of you.”

“Oh, really?” He let out a harsh, incredulous chuckle. “So, I just imagined it when a month ago my parents invited you to dinner and you declined because of your precious movie night with the other two musketeers?”

“Are you _fucking_ kidding me?” She pinched the bridge of her nose. “That was _one_ time! You know I try to spend as little time with your parents as possible, which you’ve never had a problem with. They could have invited me on another night. It didn’t have to be on a Sunday. You know those nights are a tradition for me.”

Movie nights with Armie and Timmy was a tradition ever since they started middle school. It was basically Saoirse’s idea. Thanks to their different classes they were starting to spend a lot of time apart and she had started to panic that they would start to drift apart. She had wanted one night that they set aside that was always going to be for just the three of them. Armie suggested they get together every Sunday night and watch a movie and the tradition was born from then on. 

The only time they missed spending that night together was when it was something beyond their control, like during the summer when they were in different places. Sure, Saoirse could have agreed to Ansel’s parent’s request - Armie and Timmy would have understood - but she’d rather spend time with people she loved than people who made her skin crawl.

Ansel rolled his eyes. “Tradition? Big deal.”

“Of course it’s not a big deal to you. If it doesn’t matter to you, it can’t possibly be a big deal, can it? Apparently, what you need is a girlfriend who does what you tell her, always puts your needs first, is by your side at your convenience, and never complains.” Her lips curled in disgust. “Did that cover everything?”

“You’re such a smartass,” he growled. “Go ahead, just dismiss all of my concerns. I’m tired of the fighting. We can’t even have sex without you arguing with me and putting the problems all on me. I mean, you think I’m the problem there? Why don’t you look at yourself?” He crudely glanced down towards her crotch. “Why are you always drier than an old lady down there?”

Her nostrils flared and she narrowed her eyes at him. “I really don’t know. Could it be that you just don’t do it for me? My bigger question is how do you know so much about old women’s vaginas? Had sex with many older women? Or were these young women who got old waiting for you to learn how to put your dick in them?”

Ansel was already mad before her last comment, but the way his face contorted with rage afterward - it was unlike she had ever seen him. His hands balled into fists at his side and he started to advance towards her. 

For the most part, she didn’t believe that he would ever hit her but with the look in his eyes and her own rage given his harsh words and treatment of her, she found herself reacting on impulse. She reared back, and as soon as he was within reach, she kicked him in the balls. He dropped like a stone.

During their testier fights, it had been something she had wanted to do often but she knew there was no going back if she ever did it. Looking down at him, with him clutching at his crotch, his face flushed as he gulped for air, for a fleeting moment she felt a sense of vindication which was over as soon as he stared up at her with murder in his eyes. 

It was time to make a hasty retreat, while she still could.

~*~

This game was not going at all as Timmy had wanted - or hoped. Since he only got a question wrong because Armie cheated, he thought he could easily get back on track. If Armie was going to play dirty, so was he except being tricky didn’t come easily to him. 

The best he could do with his next question was ask Armie which of Timmy’s relatives looked and sounded exactly like Keanu Reeves. He knew that Armie had never met him so he didn’t think he would know which relative it was or his name. Once again, he was wrong. It was his mother’s fault.

Nicole had millions of photo albums and loved to show them off, including to Armie. It also didn’t help that _The Matrix_ was one of Armie’s favorite movies. Armie had gotten that question right and the next two as well.

Timmy hadn’t been so lucky. Armie’s questions were trickier and Timmy got three questions in a row wrong. He continued to take off only small items - his other shoe and his socks. If things kept going like this he would be naked in no time.

He’d had fantasies like this except they were both naked and there was a lot more touching going on. If he didn’t even get to see Armie shirtless, he would be massively disappointed.

It was his turn to ask a question. He needed to step up his game. “My grandmother calls me mon précieux garcon. What does it mean in English?”

Despite Armie having been to France and spending extensive time around Timmy’s family, he hadn’t gained much knowledge of French.

“You know I don’t speak French,” Armie said in a slightly exasperated tone.

“You don’t?” Timmy tried to hide his smile but didn’t manage it.

Armie stroked his chin. “If I had to guess it means ‘my precious boy.’”

Timmy’s smile dropped instantly. “How did you…?” He sighed and stared up at the ceiling. “My mom?”

He nodded with a big grin. “Every time your grandmother called you that you always had such a sweet smile on your face, I wanted to know what it meant. So, a few years ago I asked your mom.”

“Do you and my mother talk about anything other than me and my entire family?” Even though he was still annoyed that Armie was wearing clothes, his tone was mostly teasing.

Armie pretended to ponder this. “She talks about dancing sometimes and she’s taught me how to cook a couple of things.”

“I know. She taught you how to make créme brulée and...salmon pasta.”

“Yeah, for that Valentine’s Day dinner for Liz,” Armie mentioned.

Timmy stiffened a little at the mention of Liz. He remembered how nervous Armie was about that dinner. It was his first Valentine’s Day with a serious girlfriend and he wanted everything to be just right. It was so sweet and it made Timmy want to hurl himself into oncoming traffic. 

It didn’t help when his mother would later gush about how Armie was such a great boyfriend and how lucky Elizabeth was. She was damn lucky. Sometimes, Timmy wondered if she knew that.

As he looked at him with a watchful eye, Armie’s expression turned serious. Timmy hoped he hadn’t noticed any strain from him at the mention of his girlfriend.

“You don’t have any issues with Elizabeth, do you?”

Guess the strain was noticeable after all. Timmy thought for a second about how to get out of this without lying to Armie. He rubbed the back of his neck and looked down at his feet. “Why would I have any issues with her? I never have before.”

“I know you usually don’t give me as much grief about her as Saoirse does, but I wasn’t sure if anything had changed.” Armie ran his hand through his hair. 

He could still barely look Armie in the eye as he half-shrugged. “Nothing’s changed for me.” He finally glanced at Armie out of the corner of his eye. “Has it for you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Are you still happy with her?” Timmy finally looked up at him fully as he swallowed thickly.

He wasn’t exactly sure what he wanted Armie’s answer to be. He was his best friend and his happiness meant everything to him. It would kill him to think he was with someone who wasn’t making him happy. Then again, if there were cracks in that relationship Timmy couldn’t help feeling it might be for the best - and not just for purely selfish reasons. 

While on a superficial level, Elizabeth was nice enough to him, Timmy had seen some behavior from her towards Saoirse that made him question her character. At first, he chalked it up to her reaction to Saoirse’s sometimes hostile attitude but Liz definitely had a mean streak in her and it sometimes seemed like she enjoyed cutting Saoirse down a little too much even when she wasn’t provoked. 

If even half of what Saoirse said about Liz was true then Armie deserved someone so much better.

Armie bit his bottom lip and fidgeted in his seat. “Uh...yeah things are good with Elizabeth.”

That was miles away from sounding at all convincing. Before he could open his mouth to say anything, Armie continued.

“We have our issues definitely...but all couples do. She’s been annoying me a lot more lately with her social media obsession and her and my parents seem a little too happy to plan my future without me...but I know she means well. She’s excited about college.”

Timmy picked at the edge of the couch. “She’s still planning on going to Texas A&M, too?”

“She’s going to apply there, yeah. Her family is from Texas and her grades are fairly good so she’s got a great chance of getting in.” He shrugged.

“So, you guys get to stay together and be in Texas together. Sersh will be off...doing whatever she decides to do and I’ll be in New York.” _Alone._  

Saying it out loud made it all seem so real and so horrible. He tried to speak but it was hard to do when it felt like his heart was shattering into a million pieces. He found himself just staring into space.

How long this went on, he wasn’t sure, but he suddenly felt Armie squeezing his hand and calling his name. Timmy shook himself out of it and blinked up at Armie. “Sorry.”

Armie let out a light chuckle. “I thought I’d lost you for a second there, Timmy Tim.” 

While he was clearly aiming for a teasing tone, Timmy could hear the tremble in his voice and saw the worry in his eyes.

“I’d ask where you went but I have a pretty good idea.” Armie frowned. “One of those things you’re not ready to talk about yet?”

He gave a slight nod. 

“Okay.” Armie nodded slowly. “May I just say one thing, though?”

Timmy gestured for him to continue. 

Armie grabbed both of his hands and looked deep into his eyes with such an intense gaze that it left him breathless. 

“No matter where all of us end up next year, you will _always_ be my best friend and we’ll keep in contact constantly. Whenever you need me, you can always call me and I will _always_ make time for you. I don’t care if I’ve been up for 20 hours straight or it’s a game day or whatever, it doesn’t matter. You’re always the first person I want to talk to and that will never change. Okay?”

“Okay,” he whispered as he squeezed Armie’s hand. A tear rolled down his cheek but he was reluctant to let go of Armie’s hand and lifted up one hand and wiped his tears with the back of his hand.

When his tears didn’t stop, Armie let go of one of his hands and wiped his tears with the pad of his thumb. He gave Timmy a reassuring smile so bright, Timmy was sure the only thing anchoring him to the couch - this planet - was Armie’s hand.

He became almost certain Armie was trying to kill him when he also winked at Timmy. As he tried to recover from that Armie let go of his other hand and cleared his throat. 

“I think it’s time to get back to the fun.”

“That’s easy for you to say. You’re winning - so far.” Timmy chuckled wryly. 

“That’s true.” A smug smile stretched over his face. “But I won’t consider my victory complete until I’ve collected all of your clothes. I figure that should happen in another four or five questions.”

“Now who’s cocky?” Timmy rolled his eyes. 

“It’s not cocky if you can back it up.” He pointed to Timmy’s bare feet. 

“Oh, whatever Hammer. I’m getting ready to make a comeback. Just wait and then we’ll see who has the last laugh.” 

Though he tried to give Armie his most intimidating glare he can tell he hasn’t quite pulled it off when he saw Armie’s shoulders start to shake and the sound of his booming laughter filled the room. They both giggled uncontrollably for a minute or two with Timmy clutching his stomach.

When he recovered, he couldn’t help staring fondly at Armie. This was one of the million reasons why he loved Armie. Timmy went from being horribly depressed one moment to laughing until his stomach hurt. Armie is the only one who can turn his mood around that fast. He just made him happy.

“That was terrifying,” Armie said, his voice trembling this time with amusement. He ran one hand down his face, a small smile still lingering. “Alright, I think it’s my turn.” He tapped his fingers against his chin for a few seconds before it seemed like he came up with something. “You know my middle name is Douglas, but what was it going to be?”

At first, it seemed like an easy question. It felt like something Timmy would know but as he thought about it, he realized he had no clue. He was kind of annoyed that this was something he didn’t seem to know. Finally, he decided to take his best guess. 

“Julian?” 

Armie grinned and shook his head. “Another good guess, but no. My mother really liked the idea of Andrew. She figured since I was named after someone on my father’s side that my middle name should reflect her side of the family but my dad liked Douglas and even though she wasn’t thrilled, my mom eventually relented.”

“Who told you that?” That explanation seemed right for his parents, but Timmy doubted his mother would share that with Armie or his dad would either.

“My Aunt Melinda told me. I can’t really remember when.” He rubbed his hands together and was soon smiling from ear to ear. “It’s not really important since you got the answer wrong and you know what that means…”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Timmy groaned. “I guess there’s not much left for me to take off.” 

His mouth filled with saliva and he had to swallow several times as hands slowly traveled over his chest and settled on his collar. He noticed Armie subtly move closer to him on the couch. His gaze was so focused and he seemed like he was _very_ interested in what Timmy was about to do next. 

Maybe it was just wishful thinking but it seemed like Armie was really into the idea of seeing Timmy naked. It was starting to feel like it was more than just Armie’s competitive edge at play. That hopeful thought emboldened him and he decided to tease things out a little longer. Timmy smirked.

“I think I should take off…” His hands lingered on his collar for a few more seconds. “This really heavy…” He slowly reached around to the back. “...Necklace.” He unclasped the thin, silver chain around his neck and dropped it on the glass table.

“Heavy? Really?” Armie glared at him. 

Timmy just shrugged. “Disappointed?” 

“No.” Armie crossed his arms over his chest and sat back. “I can wait. You’ve only got three things left to take off so you can’t stall anymore after this.”

Unfortunately, he was right. Timmy was down to his shirt, jeans, and underwear. If he got two more questions wrong he’d be more naked in front of Armie than he’d been since they were kids. Meanwhile, Armie was sitting there all smug and fully clothed. He hadn’t even had to take his shoes off.

Maybe Armie really did know him better. On the one hand, realizing Armie knew him that well was kind of nice but...he wanted to see Armie naked, damn it.

Okay, he had to focus. He wasn’t wrong. He did know Armie really well and he finally had to use that to his advantage. What he needed to do was focus on Armie’s few weaknesses. One thing Armie wasn’t great with was numbers. Once he thought about that he came up with his next question.

“What was my SAT score in math?”

“Your math score?” Armie’s smug look slowly faded. 

“Right.” Timmy grinned. 

“Your math score...from the SATs…” Armie had a deer in the headlights look that Timmy rarely saw from him. “Well, your whole score was…1220 and if you divide that by 2…” he paused and Timmy could see him doing the math in his head. “...More than likely your math score was 610?”

Timmy clapped slowly. “You know given how iffy you sometimes are with math that was pretty good. Except for two things - while 1220 divided evenly by 2 does equal 610 it’s not the only way you can have two numbers add up to 1220. Plus, my score was 1210, not 1220. I had 633 in Reading and Writing and my math score was 577. You can check it with the calculator on your phone if you want.” He smiled so wide his cheeks hurt.

Armie bit his lip and looked down while shaking his head. When he looked up he seemed halfway between annoyed and amused. “Well, I guess this is what I get for being too cocky.”

“You said it, I didn’t...but that sounds about right.” Timmy snickered.

 “Guess I need to pay the piper then.”

Timmy nodded. He tried not to seem too eager. While it was great finally having Armie get one wrong he still had a long way to go to get him as naked as Timmy wanted him. Armie was probably just going to take off his shoe or his brown leather watch or -

He almost choked on his tongue when Armie reached his arm behind him and deftly tore off his pink t-shirt. 

Definitely not what Timmy was expecting. 

Armie could clearly see how surprised Timmy was. “Well, I don’t want to sound too cocky again but this is probably the only item of clothing I’ll have to take off so why not take off something more substantial instead of, you know, a shoe or something,” he said while pointedly looking at Timmy. 

Try as he might, Timmy found it difficult not to stare. He kept looking away, but his gaze always drifted back to Armie’s chest. 

His perfect, perfect chest. 

Everything about him was perfect. His muscles were firm and well-defined but he wasn’t some roided out monster either. He wasn’t pale but didn’t have a tan that made him look orange. His skin had the most gorgeous sun-kissed look. He had hair on his chest but he wasn’t a Sasquatch either. It was like he had been sculpted from Timmy’s innermost fantasies. 

“You look kind of nervous.” Armie raised his eyebrows.

“Well, yeah, yeah I’m nervous.” His eyes flicked towards the door. “I told you before what if someone comes in here and thinks we’re doing something weird.”

“Weird like what? Having sex?”

“No!” Timmy yelled a little too loud. He pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Chill out, Timmy Tim I’m just teasing you.” Armie laughed. 

“I know.” He peered up at Armie briefly. If he stared at his chest for too long he would become even more of a sputtering fool. “I just think it would be awkward if someone came here and saw you with your shirt off. But you’re the one shirtless, so if it doesn’t bother you…”

“No, it doesn’t bother me.” Armie shrugged one shoulder. “Besides, very soon I’m not going to be the only one shirtless. Ready for the next question?”

“I guess.” At that moment, he was caught up staring at the trail of hair going from Armie’s navel to his crotch and he barely heard the question.

A grin spread over Armie’s face. When Timmy tore his attention away from Armie’s chest and looked up at his face he got a little nervous. Ordinarily, Timmy would swoon at a beautiful smile like that but under the circumstances, Timmy knew it meant that Armie had another trick up his sleeve.

“What time was I born?”

“What time...what?”

Armie chuckled. “What time was I born?”

“What time…?” He rubbed at his forehead. 

Of course, this was another question he would get wrong. He didn’t know the specific time Armie was born. Timmy vaguely recalled seeing Armie’s birth certificate once and maybe having a general idea of when he was born but he didn’t know specifics. After thinking about it some more, he realized maybe that was okay.

“You were born at nighttime.” His amusement could barely be contained as he hopped briefly in his seat.

Armie was about to say something when he clamped his mouth shut suddenly. “Wait.”

“Wait, what?” Timmy asked in delight.

“That’s not - that’s not a time,” Armie responded already sounding defeated.

“It is, though. Kind of says it right there in the word ‘night _time_.’ You didn’t ask for a specific time just the time you were born,” Timmy explained patiently.

“But that’s just a...technicality.” He seemed to understand how lame his explanation was before he finished his sentence.

“Oh, like the technicality of your Great Aunt’s dog’s official name being Mick instead of Mickey?” Timmy felt immensely proud of himself for being able to even the score.

“I guess you have a point.”

“I do.” 

It was just one question but Timmy felt hopeful for a momentum shift in the game. Maybe he could win after all in more ways than one. He just had to make sure not to get distracted. While it would be extremely difficult, he would have to not get lost staring at Armie’s chest, six-pack abs, and his treasure trail…

As he got lost staring at those very things he could feel his blood traveling south. He downed a shot of vodka and tried to get control of his raging libido.

After swallowing it down, he stared up at Armie. “My turn.” He couldn’t think of another numbers related question right now so he just went with the first thing that came to him. “What is one dare I would never do?”

“Well, that’s easy,” Armie scoffed. “You would never go streaking.”

Timmy imitated a buzzer sound. “Wrong answer.”

“Oh come on! You would never do that!” Armie argued.

“It’s possible I might.” Timmy pursed his lips. “Just might depend on how drunk I got, but no matter how drunk I got I would never shave my head. I would look horrible bald.”

“I don’t know about that.” Armie grinned as he leaned back against the couch and put his leg over his knee. “I think you could pull off the bald look...but I wouldn’t want you to. I’d miss your curls if you got rid of them.”

Armie had a fond look in his eyes as he gazed at Timmy’s hair and it caught him off guard. “You’d miss them?”

“Yeah.” Armie nodded. “They really suit you.” He leaned forward and fluffed up Timmy’s hair briefly.

Closing his eyes, Timmy almost whimpered when he felt Armie’s hands through his curls.

Sitting back, Armie looked down at his lap. “And I know I’m not the only one who would hate it if you cut your hair. Sersh would probably scream bloody murder if you did that. Your mom, too. I think a lot of girls in our school would either love to have that hair or be able to run their fingers through it. Definitely not a look you should mess with.” He grinned and looked up at Timmy through his lashes.

“I won’t then,” Timmy replied softly. “I’d hate to have the wrath of my mother and Saoirse come down on me.”

Armie laughed. “That would not be pretty.” He ran his hands through his hair and sat up straighter. “Guess time for something else to come off.”

Timmy stared at him as he waited. 

He didn’t keep Timmy in suspense for long. This time, he just took off his watch. 

“Maybe I should pace myself...just in case.” Armie set the watch down on the table.

Okay, not what he wanted Armie to take off but he could be a little patient. Things were turning in his favor now he just had to continue to keep his focus off of Armie’s body.

“My next question,” Armie licked his lips, “I have a birthmark in the shape of a state - what state is it?”

Narrowing his eyes in confusion, he tried not to get caught up in lustful thoughts as he peered at Armie’s chest and didn’t spot any birthmarks. He didn’t know of Armie having any birthmarks like that on any other part of his body, either.

“I’ve never seen that birthmark,” Timmy replied.

“Well, you probably wouldn’t since you’ve never really seen that area.” He stood up and pointed to a spot on his upper crotch. “It’s here.” 

“It’s...on your crotch?” Timmy gulped as he stared. 

“Yeah. I can just flip my underwear waistband down and you’d be able to see it,” Armie said as casually as if he was asking for the time.

Timmy’s eyes widened.

“But I won’t do that. It would give away the answer to my question.” Armie sat down. “But if you play your cards right, you might be able to see it later.”

“Later?!” There was every chance that Timmy was about to go into cardiac arrest any second now. “What do you mean? When, later?”

Later, like if he finally admitted to Armie how desperately he was in love with him and by some miracle Armie told him he loved him back and kissed him breathless and then they took off all their clothes and Timmy finally got up close and personal with Armie’s crotch and got to give him the greatest -

“Later if I get more answers wrong and I have to take off my pants. What did you think I meant?” Armie watched him with a growing look of bemusement.

He stared down at his lap and rubbed the back of his neck as he let out a weak chuckle. “I don’t know.” Timmy stood up and walked over to the bar. “I think maybe I’ve had too much vodka.” Grabbing another bottle of vodka, he poured himself another shot and gulped it down. 

Armie threw his head back and chuckled. “You’re such a lightweight. And, I think you’re stalling.”

“Stalling?” Timmy turned around. 

“Yes, stalling since you don’t know the answer to the question I asked, about my birthmark.” He again pointed towards his crotch. “The one that’s-”

Timmy held up his hand and interrupted him. “Yeah, I remember where you said it was… _vividly_ ,” he muttered the last part under his breath. Walking back over to the couch, he slowly sat down and tried to avoid staring at Armie’s chest or his crotch. It was an extraordinarily tall order.

He managed just to look up at Armie’s face and examine his expression. Armie seemed amused. While he could be amused by Timmy’s behavior, he had a feeling whatever shape the birthmark was Armie thought it was funny. If he had a birthmark of Florida on his crotch that would be pretty hilarious. It would also be funny, given he was born there if it was the shape of Texas. 

Whatever state it had to be a state with a distinct shape, so that left him with only a few options. Finally, he decided to take a stab in the dark.

“Texas?”

“That would have been really funny, but no.” Armie smiled. “To me anyway, it looks like it’s the shape of New York. Elizabeth doesn’t agree but I don’t think she’s really that familiar with the shape of most states.” He looked down and his fingertips lightly grazed over the spot.

Timmy had to stifle a groan. As if it wasn't bad enough he got the answer wrong but to have to think about Elizabeth and the number of times she must have seen that birthmark and why...it definitely added insult to injury.

Sitting back in his seat, Armie’s gaze traveled up and down Timmy’s body. With the way he was looking at him, Timmy already felt exposed and he wasn’t even naked yet. “Well, I guess you’ve really only got two options left for what to take off. What’s it going to be?”

Either option would probably be equally embarrassing, but he preferred to keep his jeans on. If he kept looking at Armie’s chest he knew he would not be able to avoid getting hard sooner or later. He’d rather keep that area covered for as long as possible.

Avoiding looking into Armie’s eyes, Timmy bit his lip as he started to unbutton his shirt. He slowly peeled it off and balled it up in front of his crotch. He looked down at his chest and briefly peered up at Armie’s and felt every inch of his body become red with embarrassment. 

Perhaps this game wasn’t such a great idea. 

While he knew Armie would never say anything bad about him, and might not even think it, Timmy couldn’t help comparing his body to Armie’s and felt like he came up woefully short. Armie was this perfectly muscled Adonis and Timmy felt like, other than being taller, he still looked like he did when he was 12-years-old. 

He tried not to wallow in these feelings of self-consciousness for too long but he couldn’t always help it, especially now being confronted by Armie’s beauty.

When he finally dared to peek up at Armie, Timmy saw that he was staring at his chest. As soon as Armie spotted Timmy’s eyes on him, he turned away and stood up. He walked over to the bar and kept his back to Timmy.

“You know we should probably speed this game along so we’re not both standing here naked.” His voice sounded strained.

Timmy really wanted the earth to swallow him whole. Armie sounded guilty and it was probably because he found Timmy’s chest so unappealing and he didn’t know how to tell Timmy that politely. 

“You want me to put my shirt on, don’t you?” He stood up and grabbed his shirt. 

“No!” Armie shouted as he whirled around. “I mean…” he sighed.

Now, Timmy was really confused.

“You don’t have to put your shirt on - not yet. The game’s not over yet. I just think we should hurry up because like you’ve been saying anyone could walk in at any time and I know that you’d feel really awkward if someone saw you naked and I get that. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable. We stop when you want to stop.” He stared directly at Timmy as he folded his arms around his middle.

Suddenly, Timmy’s feelings of insecurity went away and his heart just melted. The explanation made sense and was exactly what he would expect from Armie. As much fun as Armie seemed to be having teasing him and winning the game, he could clearly sense Timmy’s discomfort and he wanted to protect him, just like he always did. 

It was so sweet and aggravating at the same time. How could he ever get over his feelings for Armie when he kept being so damned perfect?

Timmy shot him a half-smile and tossed his shirt on the glass table. “I think I can handle things for a few more minutes. I’m alright.”

“Are you sure?” Armie stepped closer to him.

“Yeah.” Timmy nodded.

“Okay.” Armie gestured with his head toward the sofa and they both moved back there and sat down.

They were seated a little further apart than before.

It was Timmy’s turn again. He had to close his eyes so he could concentrate and not stare at Armie’s chest or look at his own chest and make comparisons again. It took him a long time to wrack his brain to try and come up with something he thought Armie wouldn’t know about him.

Eventually, he just decided to go with the first question that popped into his mind. “You know I love you, but what is my biggest pet peeve about you?”

“Well, there’s so much for me to choose from,” Armie chuckled. “Um...I know that you say that I chew my food too loudly.”

“Sometimes.”

“I don’t think that’s it. Maybe…” His grin grew wider. “I think it’s that you think I’m a ‘neat freak’ which is ridiculous because you only call me a neat freak because I have this odd habit of hating that you leave weird shit like pistachios in every nook and cranny of someone’s house.”

“That is not true!” Timmy squawked. 

“That is entirely true!” Armie shot back.

“You always exaggerate about that.” Timmy shook his head. “It doesn’t matter because you’re wrong. While you being a neat freak is sometimes annoying. It’s not my biggest pet peeve. I just hate the way you put yourself down sometimes.”

Armie’s smile slowly faded. 

Making him feel bad wasn’t his intention and he didn’t want to put him on the spot, but he needed to be honest and it was definitely something he wanted Armie to really hear. “You always do it in a joking way, but I can tell you really mean it most of the time. I _hate_ that you don’t see how special you are.”

When he was done he held his breath not sure if he’d revealed too much or gone too far.

The silence stretched out for a long time while Armie picked at the same spot on his jeans. Timmy was really starting to worry that he might be mad at him, so he was caught off guard when Armie let out a small laugh.

Quickly, he looked up with an apologetic smile. “What’s funny is I think the same thing about you.”

For one second, Timmy was about to argue with him when he thought back to what he had been thinking about earlier about his own body. It would be hypocritical of him to argue Armie’s point since he knew he was right.

“You’re this truly amazing person, but I don’t think you really believe it when people tell you that.” He pointed at Timmy’s face. “See, I can see it right now. When I said ‘amazing’ you winced and started to squirm.”

Once again he was completely right. Timmy hadn’t meant to do it. He just couldn’t help it.

“I know you can’t help it.”

This was getting eerie. It felt like Armie was just reading his mind now.

“And I can’t either. But I know what you mean and I know you’re saying this to help me. Why? Because you’re an awesome person.” Armie grinned. “No wincing this time.”

“Progress. Yay.” He pumped both fists in the air while giggling.

Armie snorted and stared at him with an open expression of warmth.

They stayed silent for a minute as they both processed what the other said. Timmy chewed on his thumbnail. “So, I guess what we’re both saying is that we’re awesome dudes and we should learn to accept it?”

He threw back his head with his beautiful deep-throated laugh which made Timmy smile as if he’d just won the jackpot. 

“I guess that’s another thing I’ll have to work on this year.” Armie bowed his head and ran his hands across his thighs

He sounded so timid and unsure, Timmy reached out to him to let him know he was feeling the exact same way. Timmy squeezed his hand. “Me, too.”

They looked into each other’s eyes at the same time and shred a sweet smile.

Finally, Timmy cleared his throat and clapped his hands together. “And in the spirit of having things to work on, you need to work on taking off another item of clothing and getting more naked.”

Once again, Armie graced him with that big laugh. Not for the first time, Timmy wished he could bottle that laugh and have it with him in those dark moments of his when Armie wasn’t there and he needed it desperately.

Armie reached down and took off one of his boots. “Like I said, I’m pacing myself now.”

If Timmy got another wrong answer he wouldn’t have the luxury of pacing himself. He braced for Armie’s next question. 

Cocking his head to the side, Armie seemed to be pondering this next question as hard as if he were searching for the answers to a calculus problem. He opened his mouth to speak while still looking like he was deep in thought. “What...no...how many times have I had to stay overnight in the hospital?”

This was a bit tricky. Timmy chewed on his lower lip. While it felt like he’d known Armie all of his life technically that wasn’t true since they’d met when they were five. There could be a few times Armie had gone to the hospital that he wouldn’t know about. He really hoped Armie wouldn’t be so technical that he included the time he was in the hospital after he was born.

“You told me you almost drowned when you were four and your mother insisted you stay in the hospital. So, that would be one time.” 

Hoping Armie would confirm whether his answer was true or not, Timmy flicked his eyes up towards him, but he didn’t give anything away.

Timmy continued with a smile. “And, of course, there was the time we were in the hospital when we both had our appendixes removed. So, that’s two.”

Just before Armie’s tenth birthday, he experienced stomach pains that got progressively worse over the next 24 hours. When he also started vomiting, his parents took him to the hospital and it was eventually discovered that he had appendicitis. Since the infection was mild, his doctor tried treating it with antibiotics, but when that didn’t work he was scheduled to have an appendectomy.

Dru and Michael tried to assure Armie that it was a common surgery and he’d have nothing to worry about but he admitted to Timmy that he was really scared. Timmy talked to his parents about it and they also said that it was routine surgery and Armie would be okay. While Timmy always trusted his parents, it didn’t alleviate his fear.

The next day, Timmy experienced his own abdominal pain. At first, Nicole thought that perhaps Timmy’s anxiety over Armie’s surgery was affecting his stomach but when Timmy developed a fever and practically started to projectile vomit, they took him to the hospital. It was quickly discovered he had appendicitis as well. His infection was far more severe than Armie’s and he ended up having surgery before Armie did.

They shared a hospital room for the next couple of days and Armie’s parents even allowed Armie to sleepover at Timmy’s for a few days after they were discharged so they could continue to recuperate together. 

Dru had suggested putting off Armie’s birthday party but he insisted that he still wanted to have it so they did. It ended up being a birthday party/get well soon party for both Armie and Timmy. Despite the fact they spent most of the party lying down, Armie had always said it was one of his favorite birthday parties because he got to share the spotlight with Timmy.

One funny thing Timmy remembered about that time was while Saoirse was really worried about that two of them and was really helpful with their recovery, she also expressed some jealousy that having this surgery at the same time and both of them no longer having their appendixes was something the two of them shared that she didn’t. She felt that Timmy willed what happened to him just so Armie wouldn’t have to go through it alone.

While that wasn't possible, Timmy couldn’t help feeling like she was on to something and he’d always been happy that he could be there for Armie and help him feel less scared.

“I definitely can’t forget that.” Armie crossed his arms over his chest with a rueful grin. “I think it’s the reason I started to get so chubby. It was the first time in my life my parents really overindulged me, especially when it came to letting me eat whatever I wanted.”

“You definitely lived like a king back then.” Timmy nodded.

“Maybe I should be hospitalized more often and they’d actually listen to me,” Armie muttered. He glanced up and as soon as he saw the stricken expression on Timmy’s face he held up his hands. “I was just kidding. Bad joke.”

“Very bad joke.” Timmy held his stomach. “I never want to see you in the hospital again, especially after last time.” He shuddered. “It was all my fault.”

During sophomore year, just before Thanksgiving, Timmy was helping to build a house for Habitat for Humanity. He came by his charitable spirit through his father. Marc had opened and managed a couple of homeless shelters in Berkeley and was always volunteering when he could. Timmy loved to volunteer and help out wherever he could. He often worked at the shelter on the weekends. Every year he helped organize a clothing drive at school.

Whenever he volunteered, Timmy was usually joined by Armie and Saoirse and that was no different when they were building this particular house. Even Ansel was along for the ride that day. They were almost done - just cleaning up - when Saoirse and Timmy started goofing around and weren’t paying attention. One of the workers above them slipped and dropped some heavy lumber which almost hit Timmy, except Armie knocked him out of the way - and got knocked out in the process.

When he regained consciousness, it took him less than ten seconds to ask if Timmy was okay. Over Armie’s objections, everyone insisted on getting him checked out at the hospital. His parents were notified. Despite the doctor saying it seemed like Armie was doing well, Dru was insistent she wanted him to stay overnight at the hospital so they could monitor him. Timmy didn’t often agree with her, but that time he did. He hadn’t wanted to take any chances.

It turned out it was unnecessary. Armie was just fine and suffered no lasting damage, but it didn’t help alleviate the guilt Timmy felt and continued to feel to this day.

“It was not your fault.” Armie lifted Timmy’s chin and made him look up at him. 

“Of course it was,” Timmy insisted. “We shouldn’t have been playing around at a construction site of all places. If I had been paying attention you wouldn’t have had to step in.”

“I had to step in because that freaking guy Carl had butterfingers and almost brained you.”

Timmy frowned. “It wasn’t his fault. It was just an accident.”

“Yes!” Armie pointed at him. “Exactly! It was an accident. Despite what happened, I was fine. It wasn’t a big deal.”

“It was a very big fucking deal!” Timmy cried as he shot up.

Armie stared up at him with wide eyes.

“You don’t know what that was like, Armie.” He put his head in his hands. “I still think about it and can hear the sickening thud your head made when it hit the ground. And your head - your head it fucking _bounced_. It’s a miracle you weren’t hurt worse.” His breathing quickened as he lifted his head up and looked off in the distance living that moment over again.

Standing up, Armie seemed at a loss for words. He hesitantly reached out to touch Timmy and stopped midway as if he were afraid to spook him in some way.

“The worst part was how you just laid there completely motionless. You were like that for _two minutes_. It was the longest two minutes of my life.” He sounded so stricken.

Tears cascaded down Timmy’s face and Armie finally wrapped him up in a crushing hug. Timmy allowed himself to sob for a minute or so as the memory faded. He pulled back slightly and wiped at his eyes. 

When he picked his head up, he saw a look of pure anguish on Armie’s face as if he was living the moment with him.

“I didn’t know you still thought about that or that it upset you so much. When I woke up, you were so calm and you were the one who kept me laughing all night when I was in the hospital. I didn’t know how worried you were,” Armie said softly as his eyes searched Timmy’s face.

“Because I didn’t want you to know.” Timmy sniffled. “I know you, Armie. If you knew how worried I was you would have spent all of your time trying to watch over me and not take care of yourself. I decided to do what you would and I put whatever I was feeling aside and concentrated on you.”

Armie looked up at the ceiling and let out a long breath. When he turned his attention back to Timmy he gazed down at him as if he hung the moon. “I don’t deserve a friend like you. I’m so sorry.”

He narrowed his eyes in confusion. “Why are you sorry? You’re the one who got hurt.”

“I’m not talking about back then. I’m talking about now. I’m sorry for even asking the question that dredged this back up for you. I was so focused on winning the stupid game, I didn’t even stop to consider how this might upset you.” Armie ran his hands through his hair roughly.

“You didn’t know. You didn’t deliberately set out to hurt me. You never would. You certainly didn’t mean to make me cry for like the ten-thousandth time tonight.” Timmy covered his eyes and groaned. “God, I’m supposed to be cheering you up and I keep crying and then you have to cheer me up.”

“I think it works out in the end.” Armie shrugged.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, when you get upset I have to cheer you up and make you feel better and when you feel better, I feel better. So, I guess you bumming yourself out does make me feel better.” In the end, even Armie didn’t seem like he understood his own logic as he wrinkled his nose.

“You’re so weird!” Timmy burst out laughing. 

“That’s part of my charm, baby.” Armie grinned.

Even though he didn’t mean it romantically, Timmy’s stomach still flipped when Armie called him baby.

“Well, I’m glad I could help you by bumming myself out. And, you know, I’m glad you asked that question because I got it right.” Timmy smirked.

“Actually, you never really gave an official answer.”

“Oh. Well, It was three times,” Timmy said hesitantly. “You’ve been hospitalized three times.”

Armie’s eyes widened slightly and then he looked down at the ground. “Right.”

Sensing something was up, Timmy gripped Armie’s wrist as he started to take a step back. “Except that’s not what you asked. You asked how many times you stayed overnight at the hospital.”

“Isn’t that basically the same thing?” He looked down and scuffed his shoe against the floor.

“No. Not really.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “How many times have you stayed overnight at the hospital? Was it three times?”

After he let out a long sigh, Armie held up two fingers. “I did almost drown when I was four. My dad was there with me and took me to the hospital. I was okay and the doctor sent me home. When my mom found out she got upset and said my dad should have insisted I stay there overnight. But I didn’t.”

Timmy slowly nodded. “So I got it wrong.”

“Yeah,” Armie said with a sheepish grin.

“And you lied so it looked like I got it right?”

“Yeah.”

“Because you want to make me feel better?”

“Yeah.”

“I really shouldn’t be surprised. Very typical.” He grinned up at Armie. “Why do you look after me the way you do?”

When he asked the question, it was mostly rhetorical. He didn’t really expect Armie to answer and he certainly didn’t expect Armie to turn as serious as he did. The moment Armie licked his lips and stared into his eyes, Timmy almost melted on the spot. Suddenly he was very aware that they were both shirtless and they were standing so close their nipples were almost touching.

 _Don’t get a boner! Don’t get a boner!_ He had to keep chanting to himself. 

It seemed Armie wanted to do everything in his power to make sure he actually did get a boner because next, Armie stroked his hand slowly through Timmy’s curls.

The capacity to breathe was stolen from him. He was paralyzed but it wasn’t an entirely unpleasant feeling. To have Armie staring into his eyes, he could have spent an eternity like this. 

Armie’s lips parted. “It’s because…” He swallowed thickly. His gaze drifted down to Timmy’s lips.

Did Timmy enter some kind of hallucination? Was he having the most intense and vivid dream of his life? Because it looked like Armie was about to kiss him. And that couldn’t possibly be real.  
   
But then it seemed to him that Armie was leaning in closer. Should he lean in closer, too? What the hell was happening? When Armie was inches away from his face, Timmy closed his eyes and waited for the most magical moment of his life. 

He waited and then...Armie’s lips weren’t on his lips, they were in his hair. Armie kissed him softly on the top of his head. 

“It’s because you’re my best friend,” he whispered.

Timmy had to bite his lip to keep from crying out. It was like being stabbed...but less fun. Suddenly “best friend” sounded like the most offensive words in the English language. How could he be so stupid?! Of course, Armie wasn’t going to kiss him...not on the lips, anyway. He really must have been drunk.

Slowly, Timmy turned away and took a few steps forward. He desperately needed some distance.

“Are you okay?” 

He nodded without saying a word. Timmy wiped his own tears this time. “I’m fine.” His voice was too shaky so he cleared his throat. “I’m alright. I have to take my jeans off soon, so I just have to psyche myself up.”

“Timmy, you know you don’t have-”

“Stop! Don’t even think about it. I don’t need you to protect me right now. It’s not that big of a deal. I got the question wrong, so I’m going to do it. And the sooner I do, the sooner we can both get dressed again. Okay?” He briefly glanced over his shoulder.

“Alright,” Armie replied, his gaze darting to the floor.

When he felt like his emotions - and his partial erection - had been tamed, Timmy turned around. “Sit down.” He couldn’t do this with Armie standing so close to him.

Armie immediately did as he was asked.

Reaching for the button of his jeans, Timmy looked down and sighed. This was probably not going to be that difficult. Even standing in front of Armie in his underwear couldn’t possibly be as embarrassing as what had just happened.

Just before he flicked open the button, he took a deep breath and decided to take one peek at Armie. His head was slightly bowed and it seemed like his eyes were half-closed. A couple of times he would look up at Timmy through his lashes. When Timmy unbuttoned finally, Armie bit his lip and directed his gaze to the floor. Timmy wasn’t sure if he was feeling guilty or what.

Deciding to get this over with, Timmy touched his zipper and started to pull it down.

The door on the other side of the room banged up suddenly. “Timmy! Armie!”

Immediately his head shot up and Timmy was shocked to see Saoirse running towards them at a furious pace. 

Armie stood up and brushed past Timmy as he walked towards her. She almost barreled into him.

“I’ve been looking for you guys everywhere. We have to get out of here!” Saoirse said, her words coming out in a rush as she kept looking behind her. 

Timmy quickly zipped up and buttoned his jeans walking over next to Armie. Getting his first good look at her, he was startled by her appearance. Her hair was disheveled. Her face was streaked with tears. Glancing down, he saw that the back of her skirt looked torn as well.

“What’s going on? Are you okay?” Armie gripped her shoulders.

“I don’t have time to explain. We have to…” She trailed off as she looked at the two of them and seemed taken aback at their state of undress. She shook her head. Glancing behind her, she ran to the couch, snatching up their shirts and then pressed them into their chests.

“We have to go! Now!”

They both started to put on their shirts. 

“You’re starting to freak me out, okay!” Timmy said, his voice rising in concern. “Just tell us what is going on? Did something happen with you and Ansel?”

“Goddammit, Saoirse!” They heard someone screech.

All three heads whipped around towards the door. A panting Ansel was standing in the middle of the doorway shooting death glares in their direction. His shirt was mostly unbuttoned. As he stalked into the room, Timmy could see that his pants are unbuttoned, too.

“You’re going to pay for what you did!” Ansel pointed at her.

Timmy’s mouth fell open and he stared between the two of them in bewilderment. Saoirse and Ansel’s relationship could get volatile at times but he’d never seen Ansel look so incensed.

“Stay away!” Saoirse, who had already been breathing hard, started to pant even more as she glared at Ansel. Her eyes were red and she looked at Ansel with contempt and fear. 

When Ansel made another move closer, she stepped back and something fell out of her hand. Timmy wasn’t sure if she was aware since she made no move to pick it up, so he did it for her. He slowly stood up as he examined the item in his hand. They were white lace panties - he assumed they were hers. What disturbed him was they were torn. 

“What is going on, Sersh?” Timmy said, his voice trembled. He held up the panties and his anxious gaze slowly went from hers back to a still irate Ansel.

Armie noticed what was in Timmy’s hand. His eyes swept over Saoirse from head to toe. He then looked back at Ansel and he did the same. Something seemed to click for Armie and the change was instantaneous. 

The look on Armie’s face now was scary. His face turned an angry red and his lips curled up in a sneer and his eyes were bulging. Timmy hadn’t even seen him look like that on the football field. 

“WHAT DID YOU DO?” Armie bellowed. 

He didn’t wait for a response as he went charging after Ansel. Before any of them knew what was happening, Armie reared back and struck Ansel hard in the face.

At the sound of Armie’s fist connecting with Ansel’s face, Timmy winced and almost felt like he’d been hit. Despite how hard Armie hit him, Ansel was somehow still standing though blood was now gushing from his nose. 

In a daze, Ansel’s eyes flitted around the room as Armie grabbed him by the shirt. “What are you doing, man?”

“What did you do to her?!” Armie shouted into his face.

“Armie!” Saoirse tried to get his attention to no avail. 

Timmy stayed rooted to the spot and wasn’t sure what to do. If Ansel had hurt Saoirse in any way, he completely understood why Armie was so upset but he was also afraid if he didn’t step in, Armie might seriously hurt him.

“You fucking bastard! Did you hurt her?” Armie almost lifted him up as he dragged him across the room.

“Armie, stop!” She cried out, sounding terrified

“You don’t understand. I didn’t mean to -” Ansel tried to explain.

“You didn’t mean to what? Assault her!” Armie ground out and then he slammed Ansel against the glass table by the love seat Timmy and Armie had been sitting at earlier.

Finally, Timmy sprang into action and he raced over to them. When he got there he was surprised to see the table still in one piece, though Ansel didn’t seem to be in great shape. One hand was clutching his head and the other was trying to pry Armie’s hand from around his throat.

“Come on, Armie! You have to let go of him!” Timmy gripped Armie’s shoulder and shook him as hard as he could. 

Saoirse joined him on the other side. “Let him go, Armie! He didn’t assault me!” She closed her eyes and grimaced. “If anything, I assaulted him.”

“What?” Timmy and Armie both quickly gaped up at her. 

While still scowling down at Ansel, Armie’s grip on him loosened. Then, Timmy managed to pull him off all the way. 

Ansel lay there against the table, gasping for air. 

Standing up straight, Armie glanced at Timmy and then at Saoirse. His breathing was starting to get back to normal, but he still looked angry as well as confused. He ran his hands through his hair. “I don’t understand what’s going on! What happened between the two of you? If he didn’t hurt you, then why do you look like that?”

Saoirse pressed a hand to her eyes and groaned. Dropping her hand, she shook her head. “He didn’t hurt me - not physically anyway. He just broke up with me!”

“What?” Armie and Timmy said in unison. They both shot him murderous looks.

“Yeah. Right after we had sex.”

When Timmy saw Armie’s hands ball into fists, he stepped between the two of them. It turned out Ansel deserved every inch of that beatdown Armie gave him, but he still didn’t want Armie to do anything more to him for Armie’s sake.

“That’s why we both look like this,” Saoirse continued. “And that’s why,” she grabbed her underwear from Timmy, “that’s why my underwear is torn and my dress.” She peered down at her skirt. “Well, my skirt got torn after Ansel chased me down the stairs.”

“He chased you down the fucking stairs?” Timmy glared at Ansel. The more he heard, the more he thought he shouldn’t be stopping Armie. He should be kicking Ansel’s ass himself.

“Yeah. He was chasing me because I kicked him in the balls.”

“Really?” Armie asked. 

Saoirse nodded with a half shrug.

“Awesome!” Armie snorted. 

“Awesome?!” Ansel finally fully stood on his feet. He stroked his hand over his neck. “How can you say that? I know you guys have that stupid Three Musketeers thing going on, but I’m your teammate, Armie. I literally have your back on the field and you’re going to take her side?”

Armie narrowed his eyes and stalked towards him. Timmy stayed close to his side, ready to diffuse the situation if it got physical again.

“Yeah, you have my back on the field - because you have to. Saoirse _always_ has my back because she’s one of my best friends. If you think I would _ever_ take your side over hers then I must have hit you harder than I thought.” Armie’s words were dripping with venom and he still looked like he was contemplating ripping Ansel’s head off.

“You ungrateful dick!” Ansel touched the side of his face and groaned. “Fine! Then you get out of my house and you take that fucking bitch with you!”

Timmy saw Saoirse crumple a little when he said that. Armie grunted and took a step forward. Timmy decided to take care of it instead. Before either Ansel or Armie knew what was happening, Timmy rushed towards him, grabbed his shoulders, and then kneed Ansel in the stomach as hard as he could. 

Ansel dropped to his hands and knees like a stone. 

“Don’t you _ever_ call her that again, you fucking prick!” Timmy stood over him for a moment before he moved over to Saoirse and put his arm around her. 

“The only bitch here is you.” Armie stared down at Ansel for a second. “If you know what’s good for you, from now on you’ll stay away from her because if you ever hurt her again, no one will be able to hold me back from stomping your ass into the ground.”

He moved to stand beside his two best friends. Timmy and Armie then quickly gathered up the rest of their things and started to walk Saoirse out. 

Pausing in the middle of the room, Saoirse turned and slowly stepped towards Ansel. He was still on his knees and glowered at her while clutching his stomach. She leaned down close. “All for one and one for all, motherfucker.” 

They stared into each other’s eyes for another second before she straightened and walked out with Timmy and Armie by her side, with her head held high. 

Once they got out to the driveway, Saoirse stopped and took a few steps away from them. She didn’t start to cry, which Timmy didn’t really expect. Her grieving process tended to be different than the standard five stages of grief.

At first, she would get angry and then she would just go numb. She’d barely speak or move. There was no set time for how long that would last. When her parents divorced a couple of years ago, after her initial ranting period, she didn’t leave her room for close to a week.

After the numbness faded, she would get angry again. Then she would cry - again there was no set period for how long that stage went on. It was after that she would finally start to really process things and move on.

As he watched her, Timmy thought Saoirse might start ranting at any minute or even shrieking but she just stood there with her head bowed, panting softly. Timmy and Armie shared a worried look.

When she moved, they moved with her. As they walked down the long driveway, Timmy searched for Armie’s car until Armie suddenly stopped.

“Timmy, I think you should call an Uber.” 

“Why?”

“We’ve both been drinking and even if Saoirse had her license she’s in no shape to drive,” Armie explained, shooting a worried glance her way.

“That’s true.” He didn’t know why that hadn’t already occurred to him.

They went to catch up to Saoirse, though it didn’t take them long since she was moving like a zombie.

Armie reached for her arm and gently stopped her. “We’re going to call an Uber.”

She glanced up at him and nodded slowly.

Walking down to the end of the driveway, they sat down on the hood of someone’s grey Prius. After looking up at the stars for a couple of minutes, Saoirse stared straight ahead.

“He called me a bitch,” she said softly, sounding wounded and in disbelief.

“I’m so sorry, Sersh.” Timmy didn’t know what else to say and shared another concerned look with Armie. 

Saoirse leaned her head on Armie’s shoulder and he put his arm around her and held her close. Peering over his shoulder, he stared daggers back at the house. Timmy was sure that if he didn’t need to be there for her, Armie would have gone back to the house and pummeled Ansel again.

While he had never been Ansel’s biggest fan, Timmy never thought in a million years he would do something like this. He was just thankful that there wasn’t a crowd there when Saoirse and Ansel had their confrontation. It would have just made an awful situation worse and further humiliated her.

When the Uber arrived, they all climbed into the backseat. Eventually, Saoirse slumped down and curled up against Timmy. He held her close and put his head on top of hers. Armie wrapped his arms around them both and leaned his head against theirs.

They sat in silence the whole way to Timmy’s house. It didn’t take them long to get there - Timmy and Armie lived about fifteen minutes away from Ansel. The house was dark when they walked in, even though it wasn’t that late. It was only around 11:15. As great as his parents were, Timmy was glad they were asleep. His mother would be distressed to see Saoirse so upset and she’d probably ask a ton of questions Saoirse wasn’t ready for. 

He was also incredibly grateful school didn’t start the next day. They, especially Saoirse, could take the day to decompress and let emotions cool down.

When they got to Timmy’s room, she walked in and then just stood in the middle. Timmy walked over to his big mahogany dresser on the left side of the room and picked out an old green t-shirt of his for Saoirse to wear. She liked wearing it when she slept over at his house. Wordlessly, he handed the shirt to her. She took it and headed over to the adjacent bathroom.

As soon as the door closed, Armie groaned softly. He tugged at his hair. “Timmy, I swear to God, I could just fucking murder Ansel. That motherfucker!”

“I know, Armie. What an unbelievable…” He trailed off after he turned his gaze to Armie. 

It was the first time he really focused on Armie’s clothes since before Saoirse interrupted them at the party. In their haste to get dressed, they must have put on the wrong shirts. Armie was standing there in his black shirt with hearts all over and it seemed like the shirt could barely contain him. The shirt was so ill-fitting that it didn’t cover all of Armie’s stomach and Timmy could see a sliver of Armie’s abs.

Even though he tried to hold back, Timmy couldn’t keep from snickering. 

Armie’s brow furrowed and he stared at him as if he’d gone batshit crazy. 

“You’re wearing my shirt.” Timmy pointed at his chest. 

Immediately, Armie glanced down and then quickly back up at Timmy with his eyes widened comically. “Well, that explains so much. I definitely felt uncomfortable.”

“Yeah, and no wonder the Uber driver was giving you such weird looks,” Timmy replied as he tried to keep from laughing.

“I can’t believe I haven’t ripped this yet.” Armie flexed as much as he could in the shirt.

Timmy snorted and covered his mouth. 

“I feel like the Hulk in this.” Armie picked at the material.

Letting out a muffled laugh, Timmy pressed his hand down tighter. When Armie looked up at him with a grin, he held out his hand. “Don’t say it.”

“Don’t say what?” Armie smirked. “Oh, you mean don’t say ‘Hulk-”

The door to the bathroom opened and Saoirse walked out. Timmy and Armie’s smiles instantly fell and they sobered.

“Hey,” they both said in an overly sympathetic tone.

She scowled at them and trudged over to Timmy’s bed and sat down on it heavily.

As quick as he could, Armie took off Timmy’s shirt and went over to his bed to get changed into his sleep pants and shirt. Timmy followed suit. As soon as they were finished they went over to Timmy’s bed and sat on either side of her. Sitting straight up, she wasn’t leaning against the pillows. She looked small and uncomfortable

Scanning his brain, Timmy desperately tried to think of something to say. When nothing came to him, he wondered if they should just go to sleep.   

Leaning over, Armie grabbed the remote atop Timmy’s nightstand and played with it in his hands. “You know, technically, it’s still Sunday so we could do a Sunday movie. We can watch whatever you want, Sersh. Even some overly cheesy Lifetime movie where the bad husband/boyfriend bites it in the end.”

Saoirse took the remote from him. “I’m depressed, Armie, but I’m not that depressed yet.” She turned the TV on. “Maybe later though.” She leaned back against the pillow and clicked from channel to channel.

Timmy settled back and leaned against her.

“You know, when I’m feeling less depressed I’m really going to need you guys to explain why you were both shirtless when I walked into that room tonight.” She said it without stopping what she was doing or looking at either one of them.

Briefly sharing a nervous glance with Armie, he sat up. After Saoirse walked in on them, especially with how distraught she was, all thoughts of the game flew out of Timmy’s mind, but now that she brought it up he couldn’t help thinking about it - in very vivid detail.

If not for the interruption, he came so close to standing in front of Armie in just his underwear. More than that, with one more wrong answer he would have been standing there naked - naked in front of the one person in the world he desperately wanted to be naked with. Except he didn’t want it in that way - not because of some game. 

But he had to get real, it was probably the only way that was ever going to happen. Unless they went skinny dipping together, which they had never done before. It was hopeless. He slumped down and put his head on Saoirse’s shoulder. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw that Armie had done the same. 

They made eye contact and Timmy could see that Armie was frowning. It must have been because of how sad Saoirse was. 

Finally, Saoirse seemed to land on something to watch. She put the remote down. Timmy didn’t know what it was or even care. His eyelids were starting to get heavy. 

The last thing he did before he fell asleep was put his hand over Saoirse’s. Right before things went dark, he felt Armie’s hand clasp over his and squeeze it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @filmgeekstacey on Tumblr


	6. One More Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saoirse continues to reel from her break-up with Ansel, despite Timmy and Armie's efforts to comfort her. Armie and Timmy talk about Armie's summer and his fears. Timmy and Armie come up with a unique way to cheer Saoirse up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry about the long delay in posting. It was definitely not the plan to go this long between chapters, but life and some other stories kind of got in the way. 
> 
> This is another long one. There's something that happens between the three of them in this chapter that I've been eager to write (I think you'll know the moment I'm talking about when you get to it) and I'm really happy with how it turned out and hope you like it, too. Please let me know what you think!
> 
> As always, thanks to shimmeringstarss for reading this over for me!

Saoirse rubbed her eyes with the heel of her hands and tried to roll over but felt something heavy on her stomach. Blinking open her eyes slowly, she looked down and saw Armie and Timmy’s arms crisscrossed atop her stomach. Their hands were right next to each other as they slept.

This wasn’t a particularly unusual sight. They often slept in the same bed when one of them slept over. She sat up slowly so as not to disturb them. The two of them had fallen asleep last night while she was busy watching _1000 Ways to Die_. She had pictured Ansel in every scenario.

Ansel.

The events from last night came screaming back to her. She had been standing there naked. Ansel had barely taken the condom off. He just dumped her. That had actually happened - the most humiliating moment of her life.

A moment that got even more embarrassing when she had to explain the situation to Armie and Timmy. Ordinarily, she loved how much they cared about her, but she couldn’t stand the “poor her” looks they kept directing at her. She hated feeling like a victim in any way.

The circumstances of the break-up were bad enough, but what was even more embarrassing was the thought that she’d been a fool for so long. For three years, to her friends and anyone who would listen, she had insisted that Ansel had changed. It wasn’t just a line from her, she really believed it. And yet, last night he had reverted to form - actually it was worse than that. His behavior last night was miles worse than his behavior back in middle school.

Had she been deluding herself the whole time? Did he really change? Was it all an act? But for what purpose? And, if she was wrong about that, what else had she been wrong about? The thought started to occur to her that maybe Ansel never really loved her. 

She could feel her guts begin to churn and she had to get up. As fast - and carefully - as she could, she made her way off the bed. Luckily for her, Armie and Timmy were heavy sleepers and didn’t move as she made her way to the bathroom. As soon as she closed the door, she crumpled to the floor and put her head in her hands, but no tears came out.

“He’s such a dick!” She repeated over and over to herself.

It didn’t help. He might be a dick, but she couldn’t just will her feelings to disappear. No matter what Ansel’s true feelings were, she had truly loved him and still did.

She drew her legs up and put her head against her knees. Unlike Armie and Timmy, Saoirse didn’t have a clear career path or plan for college. The only thing she had known about her future was that she had wanted to spend it with Ansel. She had spent the last year planning her future around Ansel. Now, what was she going to do?

Suddenly, she thought of her mother and had to squeeze her eyes shut. Her mother would probably have a field day over this news. 

“Shit!” Thinking about her mother, she realized she hadn’t called her mother about staying over at Timmy’s.

Getting up, she left the bathroom and found her phone on the nightstand by her purse. Sure enough, she saw her mother had texted her. Though she had only sent two texts. If her mother was truly worried about her whereabouts, she wouldn’t have stopped texting - and calling - all night. 

When she read the texts, her mother just let her know that Armie had contacted her and told her that Saoirse wasn’t feeling well and that she was sleeping over at Timmy’s. The text ended with “feel better. X.”

Turning to a look down at a sleeping Armie, Saoirse sighed with a small smile. Of course, he texted her mother.

Her fingers hovered over her phone’s screen as she considered responding to the text, but she frowned and put her phone down without replying. Things had been more than a little contentious between her and her mother ever since her parents divorced.

Monica Ronan had left her family in Ireland behind to follow her husband Paul’s dream to move to California and pursue his career as an actor. They were both aspiring actors though Paul was more interested in making it big in Hollywood. While Paul went on audition after audition and got an odd job or so, Monica had to put her plans on hold so someone could be there for Saoirse and to make sure that one of them had a steady income to support the family.

Since Monica enjoyed cooking and was good at it, she thought maybe she could get a job as a cook or chef, but she had to start out as a waitress before she eventually worked her way up to running her own kitchen. She enjoyed the work and her dreams of making it as an actress started to fade, but Paul steadfastly held onto his dream.

Their relationship began to deteriorate as resentments festered - Monica regretted moving away from home and Paul thought Monica wasn’t supportive enough and didn’t fight hard enough for their careers. When Paul suddenly announced he wanted to move back to Ireland because he thought he’d have more luck there, it was the final straw for her. 

While she did miss her family, she knew how much Saoirse was settled in California and she didn’t want to uproot her life just to follow another whim of Paul’s. Despite an ultimatum from him, she refused to back down and they aired out all of their lingering resentments in a blistering argument. There was no coming back after that.

At first, Saoirse refused to take sides. She appreciated her mother not wanting to move for her benefit - and she certainly didn’t want to move and be separated from Armie and Timmy - but she couldn’t help understanding her father’s position as well. The truth was she had always been somewhat of a daddy’s girl and had certainly inherited her more romantic/dreamer side from him. Her father’s passion to follow his dreams was inspiring to her.

Eventually, she couldn’t stay neutral and had to tell the court where she wanted to live. It killed her to do it but she said she wanted to stay in California, which would mean her mother having custody. Her decision devastated her father. They had always had such a close relationship - closer than her and her mother’s relationship - and he had been adamant that Saoirse would pick him. The alternative never seemed to enter his mind.

Instead of behaving like the adult in the situation, Paul didn’t hold back in expressing his anger. He told Saoirse that she would be miserable with her mother, that she would be as controlling with her as she had been with him, and that she would never let her follow her dreams. 

After Paul left for Ireland, he distanced himself from Saoirse and she barely heard from him. The whole situation - the divorced, having to choose between her parents - it felt like she was in a slow-moving car crash and when her father turned his back on her it felt like she finally came crashing down and she wasn’t sure how to pick herself back up. 

Her mother tried to reach out to her but instead of seeking comfort from her, Saoirse pulled away from her.

It was more than just pulling away, she lashed out at her mother constantly accusing her of not doing enough to keep their family together and of not loving Paul enough. She flaunted her relationship with Ansel and how devoted he was to her and how committed they were to each other and working through their problems.

Thinking of that immature behavior, Saoirse let out a bitter laugh. Maybe what happened last night was karma for her being such a brat to her mother. How could she have possibly thought it was right to compare her teen romance to her parents’ relationship? 

Rubbing a hand down her face and chewing on her bottom lip, she wondered if it was something worse than karma. Maybe this was how it was going to be for all the Ronan women - instead of her dream of finding love, maybe she was just destined to end up alone.

Crawling back into bed, she wasn’t as careful as she had been before and Timmy started to stir as she got under the covers. He had been on his side with one hand resting on Armie’s stomach. Timmy removed that hand to rub at his eyes and it seemed to wake Armie up.

They both turned and blearily stared at her. She could tell the second they both remembered what had happened. A deep frown formed on both of their faces and they gazed at her with such pity that she immediately turned over and buried her head under the pillow. She would easily stay there for ten years if she could.

One of the boys touched her back gently. Given the hand was smaller in size, it had to be Timmy. 

“How are you feeling?” Timmy asked. His voice sounded muffled, but the patience and tenderness still came through.

While Saoirse didn’t want to return Timmy’s kindness with rudeness, she couldn’t help lifting up her head and glaring at him.

Timmy scrunched up his nose. “Right. Dumb question.”

“I told your mother you were sleeping here,” Armie added. 

“I know.” She turned to Armie and valiantly attempted a grin but was sure it was a very pale imitation. “Thanks.”

Armie nodded. “I know you probably don’t want to do anything but are you hungry, at least?” 

“Yeah!” Timmy exclaimed with more enthusiasm than was appreciated so early in the morning. “My mom always made awesome ‘heart healing’ breakfasts for Paulie whenever she had a break-up. It always seemed to cheer her up - at least for a couple of hours. I know she’d be happy to make it for you, too.”

Twisting over on to her back, she considered this. She hadn’t eaten in ages and was a little hungry but she wasn’t sure she wanted to face anyone else, even Nicole as great as she was. 

In the end, she just shrugged and left the decision up to Timmy. 

“Okay, I’ll ask her to make it.” Timmy squeezed her hand.

“And after that, we can do whatever you want.” Armie smiled with what looked like an almost parody of a smile. It was just so wide and trying too hard.

They were both trying so hard and she wanted to be more responsive and appreciative but she could barely muster keeping her eyes open.

“Sleep,” she replied.

“Or…how about a movie marathon with the goriest movies we’ve got?” Armie suggested enthusiastically.

Saoirse blinked up at him. “Can I sleep during the marathon?”

Armie shared a look with Timmy. “You could, but why would you want to? You’d miss a lot of sleazy guys dying in horrible ways and there might even be penises being shot off.” He raised his eyebrows and seemed to know he had reeled her in when she slowly sat up in bed and he grinned.

“Okay, I’ll try and stay awake.”

When Armie pumped his fist in the air, Saoirse rolled her eyes though there was a faint smile on her lips. 

After that, Timmy left to talk to his mom. Armie went off to search through Timmy’s Blu-ray/DVD collection.

As sweet as they were being, she couldn’t wait for this day to be over. Except then it would be the next day - the first day of school. God, she had been looking forward to this day for years! Her senior year! It was supposed to be amazing and now Ansel had completely ruined it.

“Fucking dick,” she muttered, then threw the covers over her head and slumped down.

~*~

Timmy checked his watch for about the fifth time in the last five minutes. It was only 2:30 but he wasn’t sure how much more of this movie marathon he could take. Ordinarily, horror movies were one of his favorite genres, but he was fairly sure he was thisclose to screaming bloody murder or puking if he had to watch more viscera flying.

His mother had come through just like he knew she would when he told her about Saoirse and Ansel’s break-up. After a few choice words for Ansel (“what a schmuck”), she created a breakfast that would put the finest hotels to shame. There were tons of eggs, toast, stacks of pancakes, bacon. By the time she was done, the table looked like it would take one person a week to eat their way through it. Even though she usually didn’t allow it, they even got to eat breakfast in bed.

With that morning’s breakfast and the next day’s traditional back to school breakfast, Timmy thought he would probably gain twenty pounds over the next two days. 

Starting the marathon during breakfast probably wasn’t the greatest idea either. By the end of the first movie, Timmy thought his breakfast might come back up.

Despite his thinning patience with it, the marathon did feel like it was worth it for a couple of reasons. Saoirse cracked a smile a few times, especially during some of the more vicious kills. It seemed to hold her interest. She was true to her word and stayed awake so far.

The other advantage of the marathon was that Armie clung to his side the whole time even clutching Timmy’s leg a few times during some of the scarier moments. Armie didn’t love horror movies or being scared as much as Saoirse and Timmy did.

When the current movie ended, Timmy muted the TV. He put his hand on Saoirse’s knee and smiled. “I’m guessing you don’t want to get up yet.”

She shook her head.

“Okay.” Timmy nodded. “Do you think you’re going to want to sleep over again tonight?”

Saoirse picked at the bedspread as she pondered this and then looked up and nodded.

“That’s fine, but we’re probably going to need to pick up your clothes for tomorrow.”

She had her outfit for the first day picked out for the last two weeks. Her excitement about it - and for the start of the school year - had been contagious.

“I can do it,” Armie volunteered.

“You don’t have your car.” Timmy turned to him. “Remember, you had to leave it at…” He trailed off before saying Ansel’s name. 

It seemed a little silly to avoid it. It’s not like Ansel was Voldemort. She probably wouldn’t fall to pieces just hearing his name, but he couldn’t help being overly cautious.

“At the house,” he continued awkwardly.

Saoirse rolled her eyes but grinned at him. Armie was watching him with an affectionate gaze.

“That works out great,” Armie replied, getting up from the bed. “I can call an Uber to take me there and pick up my car from ‘the house.’” He smirked at Timmy. “And then swing by Saoirse’s and pick up her clothes and bag and whatever else she needs.”

“You remember what the outfit she picked looks like?” Timmy asked.

“It’s hanging up at the back of my closet,” she volunteered. “I hadn’t picked out which purse to go with it though, so it would help if you brought back a few of them.”

“No problem,” Armie said as he put his wallet in his back pocket. 

“And my make-up bag in the bathroom.”

“Make-up bag. Check.” He started to head towards the door.

“Oh and my deodorant and toothbrush.” Saoirse sat up in bed.

Armie stopped and glanced over his shoulder. “Alright.”

“And my shoes - black open-toed ankle boots.”

Pausing with his hand on the doorknob, Armie turned around. He trailed his teeth over his bottom lip as he looked up at the ceiling in thought. “Um...I’ll take a pic of your shoes and text you and you can tell me which ones those are.”

“Okay.” She nodded.

“Is that it?” Armie raised his eyebrow.

As she stared down at her lap, she seemed to be going over a mental checklist. Suddenly, she looked back at Armie. “Oh, and my jewelry. Definitely can’t forget my seashell necklace.” As soon as she finished talking her eyes clouded over and she appeared as green as the shirt she was wearing.

The seashell necklace was a present Ansel had given to her on their first anniversary. It was one of her most prized possessions. She wore it on the first day of school for the last two years.

Clearing her throat, she ran a hand across the back of her head. “I guess...just forget the necklace. It was stupid anyway.” She slid down the bed.

“Okay. I’ll just get as much jewelry as I can stuff in my pockets.” Armie attempted a weak joke, and when Saoirse had no reaction, he frowned at Timmy. “I’ll just get your jewelry box. Anything else?”

Without looking up, she shook her head slowly.

“I’ll be back soon.” Armie opened the door, shooting one last brief look toward Timmy. 

As he watched him go, Timmy started to feel uneasy, especially when thought back to last night and Armie and Ansel’s last encounter.

Getting out of bed, he turned to Saoirse. “Are you okay by yourself for a minute, Sersh?”

Instead of answering, she just burrowed her head further into the pillow.

Timmy hesitated for a second before he left the room. He caught up to Armie on the stairs. “Do you think maybe I should go with you?”

Armie did a double-take as Timmy settled behind him. “No. Someone should stay here with her.”

“My mom’s here.”

“Isn’t she going to work soon?”

Though Armie didn’t sound sure, Timmy was certain he was right since somehow Armie knew Nicole’s schedule better than he did.

“Still...I mean considering you had your hands around his throat the last time you two were in the same room - and that was with witnesses - I don’t want to think of what could happen with the two of you alone.” He chewed on his thumbnail as he eyed Armie warily.

“Look, I hate that motherfucker for what he did to Saoirse, but it’s not like I’m going to kill him.” They reached the bottom of the stairs.

“You don’t have to kill him to do something that’ll get you into trouble,” Timmy said as he worried his bottom lip. “Last night...how you reacted it was the angriest I’ve ever seen you. It was scary.”

“I scared you?” He sounded anxious and instantly apologetic.

Timmy clasped his hand around Armie’s wrist. “It’s not that I was scared _of you_ , but you really seemed like you could have killed him with your bare hands. You looked that out of it.”

“I know.” He threw his head back and blew out a breath before he stepped closer to Timmy. “I just saw how freaked out and upset Saoirse looked. She was barely dressed and neither was he. Her clothes and underwear were torn. I thought -” He grimaced and his whole face seemed to pale.

“You thought he raped her,” Timmy whispered.

“Yes...for a split second.” Armie shuddered. “And I flipped out.”

“I understand.” It definitely wasn’t hard to see why Armie jumped to that conclusion and Timmy couldn’t imagine Armie reacting any differently given what he thought had happened.

They started to move again and ended up in the den. Armie sank down into the tan love seat and Timmy sat next to him. 

“I know Ansel is a disgusting creep, but if I’d been thinking clearly I would have realized there might be another explanation and not jumped to the worst conclusion.” He leaned over and ran his hands through his hair. “It probably didn’t help that I’ve had all of this stuff building up inside and I took it out on him.”

Since Armie brought it up, Timmy felt safe to broach this topic now. “You mean that stuff that you’ve been dealing with that you refuse to talk about?”

Armie shot him a look. “Yes, that stuff.”

“Last night you said you’d talk to me about it. So talk to me.” Timmy poked Armie’s leg.

“I don’t think we have the time right now.” Armie sat back heavily against the cushion. “I have to get Saoirse’s stuff, which reminds me I still have to call the Uber.”

Groaning, he rolled his eyes. “Like that takes a lot of time. Just call them. Now.”

“Okay, pushy.” Armie pulled out his phone while shooting Timmy a mostly amused look.

Once he was done, Timmy pounced like a dog with a bone. “Okay, enough stalling. Talk.”

“It’s really not that big of a deal,” Armie shrugged. “Especially considering what Sersh is going through right now.”

“If it’s bothering you then it’s a big deal to me,” Timmy said in a tone that was strong and compassionate at the same time.

Armie’s features softened and he seemed to get that he wasn’t getting out of this. “It’s just...everything. Our last year together. College. My parents. Elizabeth.”

“Elizabeth?” Timmy’s brow furrowed. “I thought you said things are okay with you guys?”

“Mostly they are, but she’s so focused on this next year and how perfect it needs to be and how we need to be this perfect couple. She needs to be able to sell ‘her brand.’ Whatever the fuck that means. And she’s making all of these plans for our future without talking to me about it.” He sighed in disgust and shook his head.

This was doing nothing to help Timmy’s plummeting opinion of Elizabeth. “If you don’t like it, tell her to stop.”

“It’s not that simple.” He ran a hand through his hair. “She’s exactly like my parents. They want perfection and nothing less.”

It didn’t surprise Timmy to hear him say this about his parents. They always had expectations that were way too high of Armie. He had even brought this up before to Armie but he usually defended his parents and he had seemed to be handling it okay, but Timmy had seen the cracks starting to form, especially after he came back from his trip to visit colleges this summer.

“Did something happen on your trip this summer?”

“Not really.” Armie sighed. “Not with my parents. It’s just...I kind of realized I’m nothing special.”

His eyes widened and he tried to process Armie’s words. It was like he was speaking some foreign language. “What are you talking about?”

“Do you know how many blonde, blue-eyed, tall athletes there are at that school?” He twisted around on the sofa to face Timmy. “I couldn’t even keep count. How can I stand out there in any real way? The only thing that makes me really special here - the one thing I’m really good at - is football. I’m a leader here. I’m not going to be a leader there. What if it turns out I’m not even a good player - not compared to the guys already there? What do I have after that?”

Timmy had to take a deep breath before he could respond. There were two impulses warring inside him - part of him just wanted to wrap Armie up in his arms and protect him from everything, including his own thoughts about himself. The other part just wanted to shake Armie senseless until he stopped thinking this way. Actually, he wanted to get his hands on Armie’s parents and shake them.

Before Timmy could respond, Armie heaved a big sigh and rubbed his hand roughly down his face. “I know we talked about this last night and you hate how I put myself down but you weren’t there, Timmy. You didn’t see all of those guys.”

“And I don’t need to,” Timmy replied without hesitation. He leaned forward and made eye contact with Armie. “You will always be a leader, Armie because that’s who you are. You don’t take the lead because you’re just some dumb jock who wants to hog the spotlight. You lead because you want to help people and take care of everyone always. That’s why people always come to you for help because they know you care and you listen. You’re the best listener I know.”

This seemed to be sinking in because Armie’s face got a little redder and he had the cutest, shy smile on his face.

“As far as only being a good athlete, that’s just not true. You are an excellent guitar player and I can’t think of anyone who plays ukelele better than you.”

“Do you know any other ukelele players?” Armie chuckled. 

He scrunched up his face and finally shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. You’re amazing at it. And you tell the _best_ stories, Armie.”

“You think so?” Armie stared at him with an open, hopeful expression.

“Absolutely.” Timmy nodded emphatically.

Armie beamed at him. It was so gorgeous. Timmy knew if he could bottle that smile, he’d keep it with him for the rest of his life.

“Thanks.”

Briefly holding his hand, Timmy nodded and then sighed. “And I have to begrudgingly admit, you’re the best at trivia games.”

Armie threw back his head and cackled. He was still grinning as he turned to Timmy. “I feel so bad for Sersh, but her timing last night was so bad.

Timmy let out a long, wheezing laugh.

“You were just about to take your jeans off,” Armie whined.

“You really were disappointed you didn’t get to see the goods, weren’t you?” Timmy’s smile faltered when he glanced up at him and caught Armie leaning back and giving him a long look up and down.

Before he could say anything, Armie’s phone pinged. As he fished the phone out of his pocket, he leveled such a sexy grin at Timmy that he started to get hard. The sexy grin morphed into an angry glare as he stared at his phone.

“That motherfucker!” Armie barked.

It was so loud that Timmy jumped. “What is it?”

“Ansel.” Armie turned his phone towards Timmy. “He just texted me that if I don’t come over to pick up my car, he’s going to have it towed.” He shoved his phone back into his pocket and growled. 

Timmy watched as Armie sprang up and started to pace. His hands were bunched up at his sides and he looked like he could murder someone with the fire in his eyes right now. His reservations about Armie’s trip to Ansel’s house returned big time.

“Okay, I really think I should go with you.”

“It’s alright.” Armie stopped pacing and glanced over at him. He unfurled his hands and ran them through his hair. “I’m not going to kill him or do anything to get in trouble. I’m probably not even going to see him.”

While normally Timmy trusted Armie without question, he was still hesitant. If Armie said he wouldn’t get in trouble usually he wouldn’t. He was pretty level-headed at all times - except if you messed with one of his friends - the way Ansel did.

Ansel and Armie’s past animosity didn’t help matters either.

Kneeling in front of Timmy, Armie put his hands on his knees. “Ansel’s still on the team so I’m going to have to learn how to be civil.” He leaned down a little further and stared deeply into Timmy’s eyes. “I swear to you, I won’t do anything to him.”

The sincerity in his eyes and voice was enough on its own, but especially paired with Armie’s promise, it was enough to put Timmy’s mind at ease. He’d never broken a promise to him.

“Okay.” Timmy sighed. 

“Anyway, I’m not sure if bringing you with me would stop Ansel from getting hurt. You kneed him pretty good yesterday.” A slow smile spread over his face as if he were reliving the memory. “I was impressed.”

“Thanks.” Timmy bit his lip and stared down at the ground. A part of him was a little embarrassed since he usually didn’t resort to violence, but he didn’t regret it because Ansel deserved it for his behavior and what he called Saoirse. That Armie was impressed with his actions thrilled him. 

“I was so glad you kneed him instead of hitting him.” Armie’s smile faltered. “If he had hurt your hand, I don’t think you would have been able to pull me off of him.” He took hold of Timmy’s left hand and stroked his thumb across the back. “You’re going to do great things with these hands.”

The softness of Armie’s touch and of his voice sent a shiver down his spine and Timmy couldn’t help closing his eyes. When he opened them, he stared down at their joined hands. Somehow, Armie’s touch soothed him and set his insides on fire at the same time.

Finally, he was able to look up and straight into Armie’s eyes. “Thanks. It’s sweet how much my playing means to you. I really appreciate the way you look out for me.”

“I’m glad you appreciate it. I’m pretty sure Saoirse doesn’t feel the same.” He threw a glance over his shoulder looking up at the second floor. 

“She may claim to be annoyed with how overprotective you can be but I know she appreciates it, too,” Timmy replied, following Armie’s gaze.

They shared a look and a smile. Out of the corner of his eye, Timmy saw a green Sedan pull into the driveway. “I think your Uber’s here.”

Armie twisted his head around and spied the car as well and stood up. He walked outside and Timmy followed him out to the car. 

Stopping in front of the green car, Armie faced Timmy with a lop-sided grin. “Don’t look so worried, Ansel’s pretty face will remain completely intact while I’m there.” He held up his hands. “I will be completely hands-off. Verbal insults only.”

Rubbing at his chin, he seemed to ponder something. “I’m not saying you have to be _totally_ non-violent. If he ends up being kicked in the balls again no one will shed a tear.”

“Except him,” they said in unison before they dissolved into giggles.

As their laughter died down, Armie gestured to the driver and mouthed “one second.” He glanced up at the house towards Timmy’s room. “Do you think she’ll want to get out of bed anytime soon?”

Timmy quickly peered over his shoulder and shrugged. “You know it takes as long as it takes.”

“The first day of school is tomorrow. She’s going to have to get up sooner than she might like.”

Even though he knew Armie was right, he wasn’t sure what either of them could do to nudge her in the right direction. “I’ll talk to her and see where her mind is at. Maybe, she’ll surprise us.”

“I hope so.” Armie walked to the passenger side and got in. “See ya.”

“Bye.” Timmy closed the door and watched it drive off before he headed inside.

Sure enough, Armie was right about Nicole and she had already headed into work at her dance studio. Before she left, she had baked peanut butter cookies, Saoirse’s favorites. He had smelled the delicious aroma earlier. A tray of the cookies was waiting on the kitchen island.

Timmy raced up the stairs. When he stepped into the room, Saoirse was in the exact same spot as before. Gingerly, he sat on the end of the bed and touched her ankle.

“I’m not sure if you smelled it earlier, but my mom made your favorite cookies. Why don’t we pause the marathon and go downstairs? We can gorge ourselves on sugar instead of blood and guts.” He tried to make it sound as enticing as possible. 

She mumbled something Timmy didn’t quite make out.

“I didn’t hear you.”

“Both,” she replied at a slightly higher volume.

It didn’t exactly clarify things for him.

Seeming to sense his confusion, she lifted up her head a bit. “Blood, guts, and cookies.”

His shoulders slumped and he considered pushing her a bit harder but thought about how he would feel if he had his heart broken like she had and he decided not to press her.

“Alright, I’ll go get them.” He patted the bed beside her calf. 

Without waiting for a response he knew probably wasn’t coming, he trudged down the stairs to get the tray of cookies.

 

~*~

 

After telling the Uber driver - a chatty culinary school student named Fisher - that he didn’t need to wait for him, Armie stared up at Ansel’s house. The promise he made to Timmy was at the forefront of his mind. All he needed to do was find his car and get the hell out of there.

At the party last night, he and Timmy had been among the first to arrive and his car was towards the back of the driveway. As he started to head towards his car, he thought about last night and couldn’t help but marvel at how differently their night had begun and ended. 

Saoirse had started the night in love and ended it heartbroken. Armie and Timmy had started the night as friends and...well they were still friends but there was certainly a time last night where Armie almost crossed the line. 

He had been so close to admitting his feelings to Timmy at one point, just so desperate to be honest with him, but he had come to his senses. At that point, Timmy was already feeling bad, he would have felt worse having to deal with rejecting Armie. It wasn’t fair to do that to him, especially when he was drunk.

What he needed to do was to keep a tighter hold on his feelings. Their friendship was at stake and it was too precious to lose.

When Armie got closer to the main entrance, he could see a bunch of men bustling around clearing debris from outside and inside. It must have been the clean-up crew. Ansel’s uncle seemed to be supervising them.

One of the workers bumped into a statue in front of the house.

“Watch where you’re going! I know you’re only making minimum wage but try to act like you have some grace,” Andrew spit out.

 _What a prick_. Armie rolled his eyes heavenward. Maybe Ansel didn’t have a chance in a family of assholes. 

Turning his attention away from Andrew’s One Man Douche parade, he continued his march toward his car.

A few minutes later, he finally spotted his car. He was just about to heave a sigh of relief when Ansel stepped into view.

“Fucking hell,” Armie muttered. “Why are you here?”

“I live here,” Ansel replied with a smug smirk plastered on his weaselly face.

Armie just shot him a withering glare, though he was pleased that Ansel's nose looked swollen and his voice sounded more nasal.

“We have security cameras. I was keeping an eye on things - have to with all of these undesirables running around. “ He gestured around him to the workers.

Silently cursing him, Armie started to walk towards his car. “It’s too bad you didn’t keep watching those ‘undesirables’ - you might actually learn something about hard work.” He paused and gave Ansel a once-over and then shook. “Never mind. That lesson probably wouldn’t take.”

“Right, like I could actually learn something from losers who can’t find a better way to make money than cleaning up after other people.” Ansel’s lip curled. “Anyway, speaking of losers,” he nodded his head towards Armie, “it’s a good thing you got here just now. I was seriously considering calling the towing company.”

Closing his eyes briefly, he thought of Timmy and refused to take the bait. “Well, now you don’t have to.”

Taking out his car remote, he pressed the button to unlock his car door. Before he could get to the car, Ansel stepped in front of him. 

“Tell Saoirse to pick up her stuff soon. I can’t promise any of it’ll still be here if she waits too long. It’s all a bunch of junk anyway.”

Armie clenched his fist so tightly it started to hurt. A part of him thought it would feel so good to literally wipe Ansel’s face up and down the driveway, but his promise kept repeating in his mind over and over.

“First of all, I’m not your messenger. If you have something to say to her, you tell her yourself.” He put his finger to Ansel’s chest and narrowed his eyes. “When you do, you better be nice. And, if I find out you threw out _any_ of her things, you will regret it. Don’t test me.”

Unlike last night, Ansel didn’t seem scared. He got in Armie’s face. “What are you going to do? Choke me again?”

“I didn’t-” He stopped. 

Even if it wasn’t for long, he did put his hands around his throat. 

“I did that because I thought you physically hurt Saoirse.”

“You thought I raped her!” Ansel grimaced as he gazed down at the ground. “How could you think I would do that to her?”

The genuine hurt in his voice shocked Armie. Some of his anger dissipated and he sighed. “You know what, I am sorry about that. You may be a _colossal_ asshole, but you wouldn’t do that, especially not to her.”

“Exactly. I love her.” Ansel looked up. 

It seemed him to take him a second to fully realize what he had just said. Armie could tell it finally registered when his eyes widened.

“I _loved_ her.” Ansel cleared his throat. 

He snorted derisively. Ansel’s human moment appeared to be over. Tired of looking at him, Armie pushed past him and opened his car door.

“You really need to tell me your secret.”

“What are you talking about?” Ansel’s brow furrowed.

After turning around, Armie leaned his arm atop the door. “How do you fall out of love so easily? I could never do it that fast, then again I’m not a heartless bastard.” He shrugged and without waiting for a response, he finally stepped inside his car.

Ansel put his hand on the roof and leaned over to look him in the eye. “Is this how it’s going to be the rest of the year? You’re just going to keep insulting me constantly? You do realize we’re still on the same team?”

Grabbing on to the steering wheel in a tight grip, he chewed on his bottom lip. Unfortunately, Ansel had a point. Not only were they teammates, but Armie was team captain. It was up to him to set a good example for the rest of the team. It wouldn’t be good for team morale for him and Ansel, who could be argued was number two on the team, to be at each other’s throats.

Armie squeezed his eyes shut and sighed before he peered back up at him. “When we’re on the field - whether we’re practicing or playing - we’re teammates, full stop. I’ve got your back, you’ve got mine, and all of that crap. But when we’re off the field, I don’t want anything to do with you.”

“I thought we were friends?” Ansel’s bravado slipped and he appeared to be dejected. 

“Yeah, well I thought you _might_ be a decent person. I guess the joke’s on me.” He laughed without mirth before pausing to glare at Ansel. “Actually, the joke’s on Saoirse except she’s definitely not laughing right now.”

Ansel slowly straightened up. Finally free, Armie quickly closed his door and left without sparing him another glance.

After picking up all of Saoirse’s things, he headed back to Timmy’s house. As sick as it sounded, when he stepped inside for once he hoped to hear her ranting about something or even crying. It would mean she was close to taking the first step to moving on.

Unfortunately, when he walked inside he was greeted with mostly silence. As he padded closer to Timmy’s room, he could hear the muffled sound of music coming from the tv and then someone screaming, also from the tv.

As soon as he stepped in, Timmy looked up. Forgetting his slight disappointment, Armie couldn’t help smiling when he saw Saoirse cuddled up next to Timmy with her head on his shoulder.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

Saoirse didn’t say anything.

Holding up an overstuffed bag, Armie grinned. “Pretty sure I got everything,” glancing at the black bag he wrinkled his nose, “maybe I got a little too much. With the amount I got you could probably move in here for three months.” He chuckled. “But, if I forgot anything, I can head back out.”

“It’s fine,” she responded without even looking at what he brought.

Armie’s eyes flicked towards Timmy, who returned his gaze immediately. He could feel the frown on his face and he could see it matched on Timmy’s face. He jerked his head toward the door. 

Timmy nodded.

Turning around, he headed back out and heard Timmy’s quiet footsteps as he soon followed him outside. Timmy closed the door quietly and sighed. 

“I tried, but she’s barely moved an inch.” He sounded so apologetic and also stressed on Saoirse’s behalf.

He felt so bad Timmy had to deal with this alone and he stroked his hand up and down Timmy’s arm. Armie stared up at the ceiling and blew out a breath. “We really need to do something.”

“Short of dragging her out of bed physically, what can we do?” Timmy bit his lip and glanced at the door. “She needs time. I know the first day is tomorrow, but I don’t think we should push her. Armie, she just-” He shook his head. “I was going to say she had her heart-broken, but it was more like she had her heart ripped out and stomped on. She needs a minute.”

“You know I would agree normally, but this isn’t a normal time. It’s not just any first day of school tomorrow. This is the start of our senior year. _Senior year_. More than either one of us, Saoirse has been fantasizing about this day forever. She can’t skip school. Because of Ansel?” He shook his head, getting angrier by the second. “No fucking way is that prick taking this away from her. She has to go, but she can’t go like this. If she shows up like a zombie, Ansel and his fuckface buddies will be merciless.”

“I know you’re right but do you think it would be any better if she were a sobbing mess all day or breathing fire?” Timmy pressed the heel of his hands to his eyes and let out a long sigh. 

“Maybe not crying, but her being angry would be better than this.” Armie stepped toward the door and put his hand on it.

When he turned back and focused on Timmy, he seemed hesitant. “Even if that’s true we can’t force her to come around. Has trying to force Saoirse to do anything ever worked? We can’t even get her to listen to Cardi B even once.”

“I think that’s your crusade, dude, not mine.” Armie snickered. 

Rolling his eyes, Timmy tried to bite back a smile.

“Besides, we don’t have to try and force her necessarily.” Armie put his hand on Timmy’s shoulder. “We can just try something different and see if it works.”

“Different like what?”

Pondering his question for a few moments, an idea came to Armie but he wasn’t sure if it was lame or not. Deciding it wouldn’t hurt to at least try it, he looked at Timmy with a slight grin. 

“Can you get our guitars?”

Armie’s parents didn’t exactly approve of his guitar-playing, apparently, it wasn’t sophisticated enough for them, so instead of arguing with them about it, he kept his guitar at Timmy’s.

“Our guitars?” Timmy raised his eyebrow. “Are we going to smoke her out with music?”

“Pretty much...hopefully,” he answered, as he immediately turned and walked back into Timmy’s room.

If Saoirse was at all curious about their disappearance, it didn’t show as she continued to stare at the tv screen. As Timmy got their guitars, Armie sat on the bed and gently shook Saoirse’s knee. 

“I think maybe it’s time to get out of bed. Start the day.” He snorted. “Well, the day’s more than half gone, but still…”

She just grunted and sank down under the covers.

“Come on, Sersh!” He leaned over and grabbed the remote and shut the tv off just as some blonde woman in a tank top was about to get decapitated. “Are you really going to let this jerk do this to you? Ruin the start of your senior year?”

Just then, Timmy came over and handed Armie his guitar. He sat with his own guitar on the opposite side of the bed. 

Waiting for her to respond, Armie put the strap over his head and settled the guitar against his stomach. When she didn’t even look up, Armie sighed loudly. He patted his guitar. “Alright, you leave us no choice.”

At this, she finally peaked her head out and glanced from Timmy to Armie and then dropped back while rolling her eyes. 

Not the greatest response, but it was something at least.

“What should we play?” Timmy asked as he tuned up.

Armie contemplated this as he tuned up as well. “I don’t know. Something appropriate for the occasion. Maybe…” He started strumming and then screeching at the top of his lungs. “And I’m here, to remind you/ of the mess you left when you went away/ it’s not fair, to deny me/ of the cross I bear that you gave to me/you, you, you oughta know!”

He coughed and touched his throat as he first looked over at Timmy, who was doubled over with laughter. When he turned to see Saoirse’s response, he had to bite his lip to keep from laughing as he got the desired response when he saw Saoirse was covering her ears.

Clearing his throat, Armie pursed his lips. “I don’t know if that song’s going to work. I think it’s out of my range, plus I don’t know the rest of the lyrics. Hell, I don’t even know if any of what I just sang was right. What do you think, Sersh?”

She didn’t answer or look at either of them.

“Something else then.” Armie shrugged. “What do you think, Timmy?”

“Maybe something Taylor Swift?” Timmy drummed his fingers against his guitar. 

“Anything but that.” Armie groaned. 

Timmy rolled his eyes. “I know you claim to hate her music, but you forget I remember walking in on you-”

Armie hurriedly reached over and clapped his hand over his mouth. Timmy’s eyes were shining with mirth.

After Viktor left and his parents cut off communication with him to say it was stressful around the house would be an understatement. To relieve some of the stress, one of the things Armie turned to was music. He listened to a lot of his favorite rock music and it did help him channel a lot of his rage but when that wasn’t working he started aimlessly picking random music. Then a Taylor Swift song came on and it actually made him smile.

It came as a shock to him that it made him feel better. At first, he thought it was a fluke but almost an hour later he had listened to all of “1989” and he was feeling immensely lighter. 

On one epically, embarrassing day, Timmy had climbed through his window and caught him dancing around to “Shake it Off.” He had laughed so hard, Armie thought he was going to choke. After that day, he suspended Timmy’s window privileges for a few weeks.

It took what felt like a million years to get over his embarrassment. Once he did, he had sworn Timmy to secrecy. Armie had spent too long needling Saoirse over her Swiftie status to live it down if Timmy told her what he witnessed.

After having a wordless conversation with their eyes - Timmy still smiling under Armie’s hand - but when he nodded, Armie dropped his hand. Both of them turned their attention to Saoirse, who was staring at the two of them with a level of interest she hadn’t displayed all day.

When Timmy looked back at Armie there was still a hint of a mischievous grin on his face. “I think I have a better idea,” he finally responded without completing his previous thought to Armie’s huge relief.

He leaned over and whispered something in Armie’s ear. When he pulled back, Armie was grinning like the Chesire Cat. Not only was he grateful he hadn’t spilled his secret, but Timmy’s suggestion was so perfect, he didn’t know why he hadn’t considered it himself.

Timmy nodded toward him which made sense since the last time they played this song, Armie was the one who played lead guitar. Once Armie started playing, Timmy joined in soon after.

“I know there’s pain/Why do you lock yourself up in these chains/No one can change your life except for you/Don’t ever let anyone step all over you,” Timmy sang, his voice always better than Armie’s.

Of course, Saoirse instantly recognized the song and a tremulous smile started to form as she fully peaked her head out. _Bridesmaids_ was her favorite movie and she immediately fell in love with the song “Hold On” and that moment they were all singing it at the wedding. She loved it so much she roped Armie and Timmy into performing it with her at their seventh-grade talent show.

They kept playing and the further they got into the song, the more engaged she became. First, she sat up fully and was smiling widely as Timmy sang. Soon, she started to mouth along to the lyrics.

Armie joined Timmy in singing. “Don't you know/Don't you know things can change/Things'll go your way/If you hold on for one more day/Can you hold on for one more day/Things'll go your way/Hold on for one more day.”

By the time they got to the bridge, Saoirse was fully dancing around in place. 

“I know that there is pain/But you hold on for one more day and/Break free from the chains/Yeah, I know that there is pain/But you hold on for one more day and you/Break free, break from the chains.”

They all mimed the drum solo part and immediately started to laugh. Armie lost his place, though Timmy had somehow kept going. Armie started playing again. For the rest of the song, Saoirse sang it with them - belting it out at the top of her lungs. Armie almost couldn’t get through the rest of the song he was laughing so much.

When they were done, Saoirse was beaming at both of them. Armie and Timmy shared a delighted smile. She bowed her head and her shoulders started to shake. At first, Armie thought she was still laughing but then he heard a strangled sob. She covered her eyes as her sobs grew.

Even though he knew she would start to cry sooner or later - it was sort of the point - hearing it was actually painful. 

Simultaneously, Armie and Timmy put their guitars down and sat down next to her. They put their arms around her as she continued to sob softly. 

“I’m so sorry about what Ansel did,” Armie said as he stroked his hand down her back.

“I’m not crying about that...not exactly,” Saoirse muttered. After another minute, she looked up and wiped at her tears with the back of her hands. She looked back and forth between them. “When I get my heart broke again who else is going to do something so cheesy and so awesome like this for me?”

“We will.” Timmy squeezed her against his side.

“No.” Her voice cracked. “You’re going to be in New York becoming an even more amazing musician.” She turned to Armie. “And you’re going to be in Texas setting records and ruling the campus again. And I’m…” She blew out a harsh breath toward the ceiling. “I don’t even know where the fuck I’m going to be...what I’m going to be doing. And I’m going to be alone. How am I going to get through this without you guys?” She put her head in her hands and started to cry again.

Armie hugged her tightly with Timmy putting his arms around the both of them. When Armie pulled back, he waited for her to meet his eyes. “I told Timmy this and I’m telling you now - whenever you need me, I’ll be there. It doesn’t matter what time it is, you can call me. I’ll make time for you, I swear!”

“Same here,” Timmy clasped their hands together.

She nodded with watery eyes. “I know. It’s just not going to be the same.” She exhaled slowly. “I knew I was going to miss you guys and it would suck, but I didn’t think I would be alone. I thought I’d have Ansel.” Fisting her hair, she let out a loud scream. “How could he do this to me?” 

Suddenly, she jumped off the bed and began to pace. 

“He’s an asshole,” Armie declared.

“I know that.” Saoirse stopped pacing and touched her chest, right above her heart. “But he was my asshole. He was still partially an asshole but not a complete, giant asshole anymore. I thought I had changed him. But I didn’t. I was wrong. I was wrong about him. I was wrong about him being my soulmate. Maybe I was wrong about the whole thing. Maybe soulmates are some bullshit fantasy?” She scrubbed a hand down her face. “I should have taken the hint when my parents divorced.”

“Did you honestly believe Ansel was your soulmate?” Armie stood up and walked toward her. 

He didn’t want to be combative considering the state she was in but even before Ansel broke up with her, he knew she deserved so much better and he didn’t want her to be disillusioned about love because of Ansel fucking Elgort.

“I…” She tugged at her hair and stared at the floor. “We were together for three years. I thought it was possible.”

“Sersh, you’re only 17. Do you think that people really find their soulmates at our age?”

“I think you can,” Timmy suddenly spoke up. 

When Armie looked over his shoulder, Timmy was standing so close he could feel his breath on his neck. He wasn’t sure how he hadn’t felt it before.

Timmy’s gaze flicked up to Armie’s eyes before he quickly glanced down and cleared his throat, “I think there are people who are lucky like that and are able to spend their whole lives together.”

There was a part of Armie that desperately hoped that was true. Though, if he’d already met his soulmate and he could never be with him how tragic would that be? Then again, if he looked at it a different way, maybe it wasn’t so sad.

“You know what, I think you’re right.” 

“Please tell me you don’t think Liz is your soulmate!” Saoirse groaned and threw her head back. 

“No, I wasn’t talking about Elizabeth. I was talking about you, dummy.” Armie rolled his eyes. 

Saoirse’s eyes widened.

Bursting out laughing, Armie stared at the two of them. “I’m talking about both of you.”

Timmy’s eyes didn’t widen quite as much as Saoirse’s but he looked equally shocked.

“Having a soulmate doesn’t have to just be a romantic thing. At least, I don’t think it does. I think your friends can be your soulmates, too,” Armie explained.

Both of their expressions melted and smiles broke out on their faces as they seemed to immediately agree.

“I can’t imagine how different my life would have been without you guys,” Armie took in a shuddering breath. “I don’t want to even think about it. I’m so lucky you guys are my friends. You’re the best part of my life and neither of you is ever getting rid of me.” He gripped both of their hands.

Though he was valiantly trying to hold back tears, Timmy’s chin was trembling and soon enough his tears steadily began to flow and he let out a sob as he flung himself into Armie’s arms. A teary-eyed Saoirse joined him a second later. 

They held on to each other for what felt like years.

Finally, Saoirse was the first one to pull back. One second she was wiping her eyes, the next she was punching Armie’s shoulder.

“Fuck you, Hammer! Why would you say something so beautiful and perfect? How is that supposed to make me feel better about losing you?”

“Sorry?” Armie rubbed his shoulder and winced.

She pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes and shook her head. “I’m sorry.” Without lowering her hands, she trudged back to Timmy’s bed and flung herself backward, landing with a soft groan.

It was only a few seconds before Armie and Timmy joined her and lay down beside her.

“This was supposed to be an amazing start to an amazing year,” her voice sounded rough and thick with emotion. “Now all I feel is lost and scared.” She whispered the word “scared” as if she were ashamed to admit it. “I know what you said in your speech Armie about having fun but I don’t see that happening anytime soon.”

“Sersh, that speech was total bullshit.” He let out a long sigh. “Well, not total bullshit. I hope this is the best year of our lives. I hope we can have some fun but there is nothing wrong with feeling scared or not knowing what you’re going to do with the rest of your life yet.”

“You guys know,” Saoirse shot back. “You’ve already gotten into college, Arms. You have the ‘perfect’ girlfriend willing to trot after you. There’s nothing to be scared of.” She turned to Timmy. “You’re going to get into Juilliard and have this amazing career. Everything’s set for you guys.”

Timmy and Armie shared a weary look over her shoulder.

“Everything is not set for me, Saoirse,” Armie finally responded. “College is going to be so different. I’ll just be some lowly freshman.”

“That doesn’t matter.” She rolled over to her side and looked at him. “In high school, you ruled the school before freshman year was even over.”

“That was high school! College is different. What if it’s like elementary school and middle school? What if everyone looks at me again like I’m...nothing. I won’t have you guys to help me get through it. And, what if I suck compared to the other players? That is if I even get to play. How do you think my parents will react if I don’t live up to their expectations?”

Realization seemed to dawn for her and a deepening frown formed on her lips. 

“Everything’s not set for me, either,” Timmy added, his brow furrowing. “I know you guys think it’s a slam dunk for me to get into Juilliard but it’s just not that simple. Do you know the percentage of people who apply who actually get in?” He squeezed his eyes shut. “You really don’t want to know. I know I have other options but I just...I don’t feel like I do. This is my dream. That’s where I want to go and if I don’t get in...Of course, I’m fucking scared!”

Saoirse fell back against the bed and they all stared up at the ceiling.

So that was a total bust, Armie thought. Instead of cheering Saoirse up, he just depressed them all. Glancing at Timmy and Saoirse’s dejected faces, Armie thought had seen happier faces at a funeral.

“So...now what?” Saoirse asked with a bone-weary sigh.

Slowly, Armie sat up and leaned over to look at his friends. They were the best people he knew and they deserved only the best. They couldn’t start the year like this. They _wouldn’t_ start the year like this. Fuck that noise!

Getting on to his feet, he waited for Saoirse and Timmy to glance up at him. “Get up,” he said when they finally did.

They both shared a look before shrugging and then doing what they were told.

Armie grabbed both of their hands. “This is our senior year. This is our fucking senior year and it is going to be fun, but also stressful and pretty fucking terrifying. But, we can survive it. You know me, I’m a pretty modest guy-”

Saoirse snorted.

“Shut up,” he said and then continued on without missing a beat. “I think all three of us are pretty cool people. Individually. But together - we are _fucking awesome_. We have survived bullies and divorce and parents with ridiculously high expectations and parents who live to embarrass us by constantly showing everyone our naked baby pictures.”

Timmy hung his head because he definitely knew he was referring to his mother.

“We’ve survived pimples and bad grades and Timmy’s unfortunate hip-hop phase…”

“Why are you picking on me?” Timmy glared at him while Armie peered up at him with a shit-eating grin.

“We’ve gotten through all of this together. And that’s how we make it through this year. That’s how we make this the best year of our lives. No matter what happens if we stick together, I know we can make it. Right?” He stared at both of them with a hopeful look.

A slow, broad smile brightened Timmy’s beautiful face and he squeezed Armie’s hand. “Right.”

“Right,” Saoirse repeated, but she sounded far less convincing. 

“Right?” Armie said again and started to gently poke her side with Timmy soon joining in until they were full-on tickling her.

“Okay, okay.” She giggled and batted their hands away. “We can get through this together.”

“That’s better.” Armie grinned.

To cement the pact, Timmy put out his hand and Armie put his hand on top of his, followed by Saoirse.

“Promise,” they said together.

Before Armie could open his mouth, Saoirse turned to him with narrowed eyes. “If you say ‘all for one and one for all’ I will clock you.”

Timmy snorted.

“What if I said ‘one for all and all for one?” Armie cocked his head to the side with a smirk. 

“You are such a…” She rolled her eyes. 

With a quickness he didn’t know she possessed, she tackled him to the bed and retaliated with her own tickle attack. Timmy soon joined in and Armie laughed until he could barely breathe.

After the tickle fest was over, they all enjoyed the lasagna Nicole had made for dinner. Saoirse put an end to the horror marathon and said she just wanted to watch something mindless so they ended up putting on _Dumb & Dumber_.

While she didn’t cry the rest of the night, Armie could tell Saoirse was still not feeling 100% herself yet.

When the movie was done they all got changed for bed.

“Armie, let me see your wallet,” Timmy asked as Saoirse crawled into his bed.

He did as he was asked and they sat down next to her.

As he went through the pictures in Armie’s wallet, Timmy picked out a few. 

“Sersh, I’m trying to figure out something. Which do you think is the most classic Armie ‘first day of school’ look? The white fade?” Timmy held up a picture of Armie when he was ten with spiky, peroxide blonde hair. “Or…” There was an impish grin on his face as he held up a different picture. “The smurf look?” In the picture, Armie was 12 and had shockingly bright blue hair.

Armie sat back against the headboard and crossed his arms over his chest. He was used to being teased about these “classic” looks.

“By ‘classic’ you do mean ridiculous and lame, right?” Saoirse chuckled. 

“Oh, you want to talk about ridiculous?” Armie wasn’t going to take this lying down and snatched back his wallet and shuffled through the pictures and found one from their first day of 8th grade. “I think even Lady Gaga would say this ensemble was a little over-the-top and that woman wore a dress made of meat.”

“She would never!” She ripped the picture from him. “Unlike you, she has fashion sense.”

“I didn’t realize looking like you were doing a Chewbacca cosplay was the height of fashion. I’ll make a note of that.”

“Oooh,” Saoirse bristled. “You want to talk about lame _Star Wars_ looks…” She quickly looked through the rest of Armie’s pictures. “It’s not here. I’m going to get Timmy’s photo album and then we’ll really see some bad fashion, Mr. Hammer.” Hopping off the bed, she marched over to Timmy’s closet.

Timmy and Armie shared a quick look of amusement. They both knew that could keep her occupied for hours.

As the biggest fashion sinner amongst them - at least according to Saoirse, and even, Timmy - Armie knew he would probably be the butt of many jokes, but as she bounded over with the photo album in her hand with a grin and care-free expression, he didn’t really mind. He would keep this up all year if necessary.

He was determined to keep his promise and make this the best year for all of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @filmgeekstacey on Tumblr - let me know your thoughts here or there! :)


	7. I'm a Rock Star

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first day of school has arrived and Saoirse just wants to get through it without anything embarrassing happening. Armie and Timmy are determined to help her as much as they can.
> 
> Armie and Saoirse have tense encounters with Elizabeth.
> 
> Saoirse and Timmy get help figuring out what comes next.
> 
> Armie has a hobby he's keeping secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently, I can't write a short chapter. 😆 I got to the end of what should have been the end of the chapter, but I felt the plot hadn't moved forward enough - I wanted to get as much of their first day in here as possible - so now you get double the POV. 🙂
> 
> Thank you again to Shimmeringstarss for looking this over for me.

As Timmy blearily rubbed at his eyes he had mixed feelings about last night. They had continued to go through his photo album for hours. It was complete fun going down memory lane and seeing Saoirse not only happy but regaining her enthusiasm for the start of the year.

The only downside was they stayed up past 2 AM and only got four hours of sleep.

He let out a long yawn as he walked into the bathroom. Timmy imagined that Armie would be even more tired since he stayed up even later than him and Saoirse. As he was falling asleep, he saw Armie fire up his laptop. Whatever he was doing seemed to be important. The blue light had illuminated his handsome face and he looked deep in concentration.

Timmy had felt a little creepy surreptitiously watching Armie but he couldn’t ask for a better way to fall asleep looking at that face. He fell asleep with a huge smile.

Putting toothpaste on his toothbrush, he was so lost in thought he almost jumped when he heard the shower turn off. Timmy looked up in the mirror and saw Armie step out of the shower. 

His toothbrush fell out of his mouth.

Armie was naked.

Armie was wet.

Armie’s wet, naked butt was on full display.

Time seemed to slow down and Timmy was afraid to blink for fear of waking up from this glorious dream.

There was a very, very small part of him that was slightly annoyed after all the hoops he jumped through last night to see Armie naked all he really needed to do was walk into his own bathroom at the perfect time. His infinitesimal annoyance was dwarfed by his immense gratitude at this turn of events.

His morning wood, which had started to soften when he walked into the bathroom, was back with a vengeance.

When Armie wrapped a towel around his lower half, he finally started to wake from his lust fog and began to turn around realizing how embarrassed he would be to get caught ogling his naked best friend, especially sporting a raging hard-on. Suddenly springing into action, Timmy scrambled to pick-up his toothbrush.

“Oh, Timmy I didn’t see you there,” Armie said just as Timmy grasped his brush.

If he currently could be stunned he would marvel at how casual Armie said that, as if he wasn’t standing there dripping wet, half-naked, and blindingly gorgeous. Only Timmy didn’t have the energy to be stunned since he was using all his energy to try and will away his boner.

Clearing his throat several times to respond, he still sounded like his vocal cords were being strangled when he finally did. “Yeah, I-I wasn’t paying attention when I walked in and I didn’t realize you would be naked - I mean showering…showering naked, not that you would shower with your clothes on because only a weirdo would shower with their clothes on and you’re not a weirdo so showering naked was clearly the right call.”

_OMG, you weirdo why are you saying these words?! Shut up!_

Timmy chanced a brief glance at Armie and instantly regretted it.

Armie’s glorious, broad chest was still slick and lickable and he now had a slight smirk on his face as he approached Timmy.

Looking away, he tried to think of every disgusting thing he could to get rid of his erection and avoid utter humiliation. Thankfully, due to Saoirse’s gross-out marathon yesterday he had plenty of material to conjure up. 

As Armie stopped next to him, he pressed himself tightly to the counter.

“I know.” Armie leaned against the counter and chuckled.

“You know?” Timmy stared up at him with wide eyes.

“I know what you’re thinking.” Armie nodded. “After everything last night you get to see me naked for free.”

“Oh…” Timmy’s shoulders sagged. “Right. That.” He chuckled weakly. “Yeah. Last night was a real waste.”

“I hope it wasn’t a total waste.” Armie’s smile faltered a bit. 

“Oh, no that’s not what I meant.” He stood up taller and faced Armie fully for the first time. His erection was mostly gone. “Last night was great. It was fun...well more fun for you since I kept getting things wrong.”

“That’s true.” Armie grinned.

“Definitely not fun for Saoirse.” He frowned.

“Yeah.” Armie sighed. “I’m so glad we were able to make her feel a little bit better yesterday.”

“Thanks to you.” He bumped his shoulder against Armie’s before he remembered how the only thing standing between him and a naked Armie was a thin towel and he quickly pulled back and stared at the ground.

“It was a team effort.” Armie returned the shoulder bump. He gazed down at Timmy’s face and his expression grew softer. “You know you’re supposed to brush your teeth, not your lips.”

Timmy’s brow furrowed as he glanced up at him.

Armie reached out and swiped a small spot on Timmy’s lip with his thumb.

 _Fuck, what was he trying to do to him?_ He had just managed to redirect the blood flow to his cock and Armie was doing his damndest to ruin that.

Showing Timmy his thumb, he saw that there was toothpaste on it.

“Oh.” He smiled. “Guess I got a little messy this morning. Too overexcited for today.”

“You don’t seem excited.” Armie’s eyes seemed to follow him. “You seem nervous. You can’t even look me in the eye.”

“You’re naked.” He gulped.

“So?” Armie shrugged.

“I…” Timmy turned the faucet on and ran his brush under it to give himself time to think. “You’re like a mound of muscles and I...really don’t want to start the year off with a complex.” He put more toothpaste on his brush.

“What does that mean?” Armie crossed his arms over his chest.

“Armie, come on. You know what I mean.” He waved his brush in the general direction of Armie’s body. “Look at you and look at me. One of us looks like the ideal man and it’s definitely not me.” 

That seemed like a good enough cover - especially since there was some truth in it - and he started to brush his teeth again. When he peeked up at the mirror he caught Armie staring at him. His gaze was so intense Timmy thought he might melt under it.

Finally, Armie shook his head. “That is such _bullshit_!”

Timmy wouldn’t meet his gaze.

“Just because I have muscles doesn’t mean anything. You don’t need muscles to be a man. You certainly don’t need them to look good. You’re the perfect example of that. You may not have muscles but you’re still gorgeous.”

His brush slowly slid from his mouth and Timmy stared up at Armie in wonder. Armie always did his best to boost his self-esteem and had called him good-looking before but he’d never called him gorgeous and definitely not with so much passion.

“You think I’m gorgeous?” He asked with a mouthful of toothpaste.

“Yes...though not necessarily at present.” Armie snickered.

Blushing, he turned to spit into the sink and quickly rinsed his mouth.

“That’s better.” Armie’s beaming face was radiant.

He was about to ask his question again when Armie’s stomach growled.

They exchanged a brief look and then burst out laughing.

Armie’s cheeks were tinged pink. “I think it might be time to partake of your mother’s massive breakfast. I should let you get ready. I know it takes you a thousand hours to get ready and look-”

“Gorgeous?” He shyly grinned.

“Yeah,” Armie whispered. His eyes sparkled and he ducked his head. Before he walked out, he bumped his fist against Timmy’s shoulder.

Timmy spent the rest of the morning in a delirious haze. It was a good thing he’d already picked out his outfit because he got dressed on autopilot. By the time he got downstairs, his face felt numb from the big grin that never left his face.

It was still ridiculously early but this was easily his favorite first morning of school ever.

 

~*~

 

Saoirse was feeling weighed down. It wasn’t by the sadness she still felt but by Nicole’s monumental breakfast. There was so much food at points she wondered if it was a game and she was supposed to eat her way out of the house.

Nicole usually went all out for their first day but this seemed a lot even for her. She supposed Nicole had to make up for how much she cooked yesterday to make Saoirse feel better. She still seemed to be on a mission to make her feel better, doting on Saoirse all morning. 

She told Saoirse about her own first heartbreak and how she rose above it and assured her that she could do it, too.

It wasn’t just Nicole doting on her. Armie and Timmy were still walking on eggshells around her. It was unusual and unnerving. 

Before they left, she touched boys’ arms and stopped them before they headed out the door.

“I love you guys and I really appreciate how you’ve been looking out for me but I would really like it if you guys didn’t treat me with kid gloves anymore like I’m some mental patient about to flip out at any moment. I want things to be as normal as possible. Ok?”

The two exchanged a brief look before Timmy nodded.

“Whatever you want,” Armie added.

After they promised, she felt a little more comfortable and thought maybe she could make it through the day. 

They all climbed into Armie’s car. Since neither Saoirse or Timmy had a car, Armie always drove them to school. During football season he couldn’t always give them a ride home, especially since Timmy and Saoirse had jobs, but otherwise, he was like their personal Uber. 

While Armie and Timmy chatted about their first classes, she sent her mother a text telling her she was off to school. After sending it, she got preoccupied looking at her phone’s wallpaper. It was a picture of her and Ansel they had taken on the beach for their first anniversary. He was looking at her like she hung the moon.

Suddenly, she flashbacked to the party - _“Fine! Then you get out of my house and you take that fucking bitch with you!”_

It took all her strength to hold back the bile she felt rising in her throat thinking about the disgusting way Ansel talked about her - the malice in his voice and the hatred in his expression. How could they get to that point so fast? How did it end like that?

Her eyes began to sting and she closed them tightly and took a deep breath. She listened to the song playing instead. It was one of her favorites - Taylor Swift’s “Shake it Off.” She decided to do just that. Letting out the breath she was holding, she shook her head, and with a steely gaze stared down at her phone and immediately changed her phone’s background.

The song switched to an Ariana Grande song - another one of her favorites. Another one that Armie had always claimed to hate.

“Why are we listening to this?” 

Armie did a slight double-take and his brow furrowed. “I thought this was one of your favorites?”

“It is, but you hate Taylor Swift and the last time I made you listen to an Ariana Grande song you said you would rather have a nail shoved through your eardrum.” She wrinkled her nose. “Why are we listening to this on your week?”

Even though it was Armie’s car, they had a system where each got to play DJ of the car for one week and got to listen to whatever they wanted. Last week was her turn, which was when Armie had made the comment about listening to Ariana Grande. There was no way he changed his mind about that in one week.

“You should know I was just being dramatic.” Armie chuckled. “She’s not _that_ bad. As much as you may not like her, you and Elizabeth have very similar tastes in music and she makes me listen to this stuff, too and it’s not all completely horrible. It’s kind of like background noise that I don’t even notice.”

Briefly bristling at the mention of Liz, she decided not to start anything. She occupied her time trying to find a better wallpaper picture for her phone than the generic one she was using as a placeholder. Armie had taken a great picture of the three of them the night before the party. She didn’t remember if he had sent it to her.

“Arms, can I borrow your phone?”

“Do you need it right now?” He asked with some hesitation. “Is something wrong with yours?”

She shook her head. “I just want to find that picture of the three of us from the other day.” Without waiting for permission, she reached over and plucked his phone out of the cupholder.

As soon as she unlocked his phone, it opened up to the Spotify app with the playlist they must have been listening to. She scrolled through it. They were all some of her favorite songs. It looked like Armie created it the night before.

“Did you create this playlist, Armie?” She looked up at him with a soft grin. 

“Not sure what playlist you’re talking about? If it’s not something I normally listen to, Elizabeth probably did it.” He briefly looked up at her through the rearview mirror before turning his eyes back to the road.

“But most of these songs were put on this playlist a few hours ago? She was up at 2 o’clock and she created a playlist called “Cheer Up?” Her grin grew wider as she watched him start to squirm.

“She is a cheerleader,” he joked.

“Armie!” She poked him in the side. “You made this for me, didn’t you?”

“That’s what you were doing last night, wasn’t it?” Timmy turned to him, his eyes seemed to sparkle with joy.

“It’s not a big deal.” Armie shrugged one shoulder. “I just thought it would-”

“Cheer me up?” Saoirse interrupted.

“Yeah.” Their eyes met through the mirror and Armie chuckled.

Saoirse bowed her head and looked down at the phone. It really did warm her heart that he took the time to do this for her. Despite his jock exterior, he was one of the sweetest people she knew so this gesture didn’t surprise her.

“So, is it actually cheering you up?” Armie raised his eyebrows and stared at her expectantly.

“Yes.” She jumped up and kissed him on the cheek. A wicked grin soon formed on her lips. “Except maybe it could use a _little_ more Taylor.”

“As far as I’m concerned, it’s your playlist and you can add whatever you want.” Armie laughed. 

She smiled and perused the playlist more. For now, she didn’t add anything to it because, despite her teasing Armie, she liked it the way it was. All of the songs were mostly upbeat and there were absolutely no love songs, which she definitely appreciated.

When she glanced up at the front seat, Timmy was still staring at Armie as if he had cured cancer and when Armie looked over at him, a goofy grin spread over his face before he faced the road again. It made her snicker when the thought occurred to her that it almost looked like they were going to make out. She was going to make a joke about it when she got distracted because “Hold On” started to play.

They all looked at each other and began to laugh. 

“I almost forgot I put that on there.” 

“No offense to Wilson Phillips, but is it weird that I think you two sounded so much better yesterday?” She asked looking between the two.

“Well, obviously,” Armie replied with a cocky grin.

After glancing at each other and rolling their eyes, Timmy and Saoirse laughed.

By the time they got to school, they were all singing Pink’s “So What” at the top of their lungs.

While Armie parked the car, she peered up at the glass building and took a deep breath. “I got this. I’m a rock star,” she muttered to herself.

Timmy and Armie turned to her, but before they could say anything she hopped out of the car and started to march down the parking lot ahead of them. They quickly got out too and caught up with her.

“I got this.” She threw a brief grin at them over her shoulder.

Neither said anything, just nodded.

Tugging on the front of her black denim jacket, she looked down at her orange flowery skirt and determined that she looked okay. The closer she got to the school, the less confident she became and her steps faltered as she noticed the swarm of students in front.

She felt Armie and Timmy flank her and squeeze her hands. 

“Remember this is our year, he can’t take that away from you,” Timmy whispered in her ear.

“Fuck him,” Armie added. “He doesn’t matter. You’re a rock star, remember.” 

“Abso-fucking-lutely.” Her nervous expression morphed into a more determined one. She squared her shoulders and marched forward with her two best friends.

The trio walked in and started to head in the direction of their lockers. When Timmy and Armie followed her, she stopped. Their lockers weren’t next to hers and were in the other direction.

“What’re you guys doing?”

They shrugged at the same time.

‘We’re going to walk you to your locker,” Armie answered.

“No.” She shook her head. “Totally normal, remember?” 

Pursing his lips, Armie looked like he wanted to argue, but Timmy put his hand on his arm and nodded in the direction of their lockers. 

“Okay.” Armie let out a deep sigh. “But remember, if you need us just text - no matter when.”

Timmy nodded, squeezing her shoulder.

“I know.” She kissed them both on the cheek. “I’m okay. Go.” She smiled as she pushed them in the other direction.

Both trudged away and looked back once as they rounded the corner. Her fake smile fell as soon as they were out of sight. As she turned and looked in front of her, she started the short walk to her locker. She tried to keep her head down as much as possible. Before she got there, she spotted a couple of kids staring at her. One of them was Dakota Johnson, who was staring at her with such a look of pity, Saoirse felt tempted to give her the finger but she knew it wasn’t fair to take her anger out on her.

When she finally got to her destination, she had to pause as she tried to open her locker. Her mind kept flashing back to the previous three times when Ansel dropped her off at her locker on the first day and she started to smile as she remembered how he always left her with a kiss on her nose. Absentmindedly, her hand traveled to the tip of her nose and she touched it with a soft smile. Then she remembered why he wasn’t there this time and the smile instantly died.

“Fuck him, fuck him, fuck him,” she chanted.

It took her three tries to get her locker open and when she attempted to put her bag inside, she fumbled with it and it fell on the floor, spilling out some of the contents.

“Fuck!” She yelled. As she realized how loud that was she threw a few furtive glances around and saw some kids staring at her.

“Whatever,” she muttered, rolling her eyes. She kneeled down to pick up her stuff. 

Pastel blue pumps stepped into her line of vision. She recognized the heavy aroma of perfume before she even bothered to glance up.

Elizabeth picked up some of the jewelry left on the ground. They both stood up at the same time. “Hello, Saoirse.”

“Hello, Liz.” She gritted her teeth.

“Elizabeth,” she corrected in her haughty way with a smile that screamed “I really hate you” or maybe Saoirse was just projecting.

She returned that same smile.

Instead of giving her the bracelet she had in her hand, Elizabeth looked her up and down, her gaze lingering on Saoirse’s skirt. “That’s lovely.”

Saoirse blinked at her for a second. Unless they were in front of Armie they didn’t give each other compliments.

“Thanks,” she replied with hesitation. While she didn’t relish the idea of giving Elizabeth any compliments, she debated whether to come up with some sort of compliment for her cream-colored one-piece jumpsuit.

Before she could do that Elizabeth turned her attention to the diamond bracelet. She held it up. “This is really nice, too.” Her eyes flicked up to Saoirse. “It’ll be a shame if you have to give it back.” She smirked as she handed her the bracelet and walked away.

Closing her eyes, she breathed in and out slowly. She had half a mind to stalk after her and rip her hair out by the roots. Instead of doing that, she stuffed the bracelet back in her bag and shoved it in her locker, slamming the door closed.

As she made her way to her first class, she almost made it there without incident when she spotted Ansel a few feet away. It caught her off guard since it wasn’t his locker. It must have been one of his jock buddies, who he was completely surrounded by. They were all laughing and joking about something. From the brief bit she heard from him, it sounded like Ansel didn’t have a care in the world.

When he started to turn his head, she hauled ass away from there. She raced toward Mr. Letts’s class and practically vaulted inside, bumping into a few kids in the process. Ignoring their protestations, she quickly found a seat in the back.

There were whispers all around her and she could feel so many sets of eyes on her. She sunk down in her seat. Not exactly the rock star entrance she was hoping for.

 

~*~

 

Armie watched Timmy open his locker and couldn’t help the chuckle that erupted when he glanced at Timmy’s almost empty, pristine space.

Timmy’s brow furrowed as he looked over at him.

He nodded his head toward Timmy’s locker as his chuckle died down. “I think we should take a picture because this is probably the last time you’ll be able to see the walls of your locker. By the end of the year, it’ll look like the inside of a garbage truck - only less organized.” He started laughing again.

Letting out a cute mock laugh, Timmy gave Armie the finger. “Most of us aren’t so anal retentive that we take our locker grooming tips from Marie Kondo.”

“At least what I do sparks joy.”

What Armie expected was more banter from him but instead, Timmy looked at him over his shoulder with a bright grin. “I can’t really argue with that.”

As he felt an equally wide grin form on his face, Armie lowered his head and closed his pristine locker. Just then, he spotted Elizabeth walking up to him. “Hi,” he said as she got closer. He gave her a quick kiss on the lips, which she returned though she was still looking at her phone.

“Hey, Elizabeth,” Timmy called out. 

She gave him a short wave without even looking at him.

They shared a look and Armie just shrugged apologetically.

“We need to talk,” she said suddenly as she put away her phone. There was a deep frown on her face.

“Okay, what about?” He asked as he leaned up against his locker.

“We need to figure out how to do damage control after what you did at Ansel’s party.” She crossed her arms over her chest.

“What I did?” He asked despite having a good idea of what she was referring to. 

“You attacked Ansel!”

“Because I thought he had hurt Saoirse which he actually did by breaking up with her.” This should have been self-explanatory. 

“You don’t physically attack someone just because they break-up with someone else. Your friend or not.” She turned toward Timmy. “I, especially, thought you would understand that, Timothée.”

Timmy, who had his head practically in his locker, pulled his head out quickly and his eyes widened. “Me?”

“Why are you bringing him into this?” Armie pointed at him.

“Of course, he’s involved in this. He hit Ansel, too.” Elizabeth rolled her eyes. 

“He fucking deserved it!” He took a deep breath to get under control as he looked around and could see they were attracting some attention. Stepping closer to her, he lowered his voice. “Saoirse is my best friend and when someone hurts her, I’m not just going to sit back and do nothing.”

Elizabeth opened her mouth to respond but then cocked her head to the side. “Saoirse’s your best friend?” She glanced over her shoulder. “I thought Timmy was?”

It took Armie a second to catch up to the shift in conversation. He shrugged. “They’re both my best friend. You can have two best friends.”

“Whatever.” She waved her hand dismissively. “She’s a big girl - or so she’s always claiming. She can fight her own battles. Let her handle her break-up with Ansel. You cannot alienate him. He’s your teammate. He has your back. That matters a hell of a lot more than Saoirse or her feelings.”

Armie bit his lip so hard he could taste blood. To keep from exploding, he had to close his eyes and count to ten. When he opened his eyes, the look on his face must have been intense because she shrunk back with wide eyes.

“Don’t ever say that Saoirse doesn’t matter. She’s my family.” His gaze flicked over to Timmy. “Both her and Timmy. They mean more to me than anyone.” He leveled a pointed look at her. _Anyone_. Understood?”

She looked down at her feet and swallowed. When she glared up at him there was a slight smirk on her face. “I’m sure your parents would love to hear that.”

Ignoring that remark, he just continued to stare her down.

“Fine.” She let out a loud sigh. “If you don’t want to do anything to put your team back together, I can’t force you. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” With that parting shot, she flounced off.

“That could have gone better.” Armie fell back against his locker and banged his head against it. He immediately felt Timmy move closer to him. “Maybe I was too harsh with her. I should probably apologize.”

“Fuck that,” Timmy spat out.

Armie quickly glanced over at him, his lip curling up in a grin. 

“You’re right, we are family, and she had no business acting like Saoirse’s feelings don’t matter. I would have said the same thing to anyone I was dating.” His eyes had a steely glint to them that Armie didn’t see often but it always thrilled him when he did. It was so sexy.

He focused on that instead of thinking about the actual prospect of Timmy dating. He smiled. “Thanks.” He pursed his lips. “She’s not completely wrong though. I know some of the team will be pissed at me. I’m sure Ansel has made sure of it.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Timmy said with so much confidence. 

“You think so?” He raised an eyebrow. 

“Yeah.” Timmy nodded. “You’re the team captain, Armie. Those guys look up to you, not Ansel. If any of them are upset with you all you’ll need to do is be you and make them laugh and they’ll forget why they’re mad at you. It’s worked way too often on me. You’re like a puppy, I just can’t stay mad at you.” After he finished, he stared down at the floor and rubbed the back of his neck.

His stomach flipped and he had to fight hard to keep from blushing - he wasn’t sure if he was succeeding. It’s something that Armie knew already - he and Timmy rarely fought. The longest they’d ever gone without speaking to each other was a day. Still, Timmy actually admitting he couldn’t stay mad at him was adorable. 

“I’m not sure I’ve ever been compared to a puppy before.” He chuckled and leaned in closer. “I guess I’ve got you wrapped around my little finger, huh?”

Timmy was hunched over so much, Armie thought he might actually start to burrow inside his own stomach. He shifted up suddenly and pushed Armie’s shoulder. “Don’t get so cocky. You don’t want to test that theory, do you?” He bit his lip and turned back to his locker.

“You’re right, I don’t.” He cleared his throat and hoisted his backpack on to his shoulder. “So, you really think I can win most of the guys over?”

“Absolutely.”

“What about the ones who stay mad at me?” 

“Fuck ‘em,” they said in unison and then started to laugh.

The first bell rang, so they prepared to go their separate ways.

“See ya, third period.” Armie knocked his shoulder against Timmy’s. 

“See ya.” Timmy grinned. 

Finally, they went off to their separate classes. It wasn’t a long walk to Armie’s first class. As soon as he walked in, he spotted Ansel, who immediately looked up and glared at him.

Deciding it was best to ignore him, he took a seat toward the front as far from Ansel as he could get. He smiled at the person sitting next to him - Dev Patel - and struck up a conversation. He could feel Ansel’s eyes still on him but he refused to let that weasel affect him.

 

~*~

 

Before lunch, Timmy asked his music teacher if he could talk to him for a few minutes about his Juilliard audition. Thankfully, his music class was just before the lunch period so he didn’t have to go far or keep Mr. Stuhlbarg waiting.

As kids began to disperse after the bell rang, he walked up to the front of the class. He waited for Mr. Stuhlbarg to finish speaking with Daniel Kulaaya before he got his chance to speak with him.

“So, Timmy, what was it you wanted to discuss with me?” Mr. Stuhlbarg asked as he put some papers in his bag.

“Well, I’ve finally decided on the pieces I want to play for my pre-audition program.”

“Excellent.” Mr. Stuhlbarg smiled. 

Despite feeling nervous, Timmy returned the smile. Other than the fact he taught his favorite subject, Mr. Stuhlbarg was his favorite teacher because of how supportive he had always been. He had a way of putting Timmy at ease even when he was giving criticisms.

“I decided on Chopin Op. 25, No. 5 and Mozart’s Piano Sonata No. 8. For my substantial composition, I was thinking about Chopin’s Ballade No. 2.” Timmy chewed on his lip waiting for Mr. Stuhlbarg’s input.

Mr. Stuhlbarg paused and sat down on his desk.

“Do you think that’s not a good choice?” Timmy stood up straighter and his nerves worsened. 

He shook his head. “It’s a beautiful piece and you perform it exquisitely. Juilliard wouldn’t have included Chopin among the options if it was a bad choice.”

“But?” Timmy could tell he was hesitant.

“Well, first off, you’re already doing one Chopin piece plus Ballade No.2 is a common piece used in auditions. I know you perform it very, very well and that could potentially work to your advantage. Even if they hear it repeatedly if you play it in a way that stands out it will stick out to them and be very impressive. But-”

“But I might have a harder time standing out if I play something like that?” Timmy interrupted.

“I know you might not think now is the time to challenge yourself, but I think the way to stand out is to really show them the range you have and do something that’s a challenge,” Mr. Stuhlbarg explained.

Timmy’s shoulders sagged and he chewed on his lip. While he had liked his choices, he could see the sense in what Mr. Stuhlbarg was saying. In fact, this summer he had been practicing some material he thought he could use some work on.

“I have been practicing Liszt a lot this summer. I think I’m actually doing really well with Hungarian Rhapsody No.6 - especially thanks to your suggestions.”

“That’s great news!” Mr. Stuhlbarg got up and patted his shoulder.

“I just have to keep practicing.” He would quit his job if he could to keep practicing but he was sure his parents wouldn’t let him. They wanted to make sure he made time for something other than hanging out with his friends or practicing all day. “I think I can get it to where it needs to be by November.”

“I have no doubt you’ll do your best.” Mr. Stuhlbarg smiled and crossed his arms over his chest. “In fact, I have some good news for you, at least I hope you’ll consider it good news.”

“Okay.” This definitely had him intrigued and he leaned in closer. 

“If you remember I told you that if you got a final audition, before that it would be best if you had a meeting with one of the professors at Juilliard so you could play for them and get a sense of their teaching style - that way you would know how well you take to their style and if you’ll have a good working relationship. It will help you make your teacher preferences.”

“Yes. I know.”

“Well, I was talking about you to a friend of mine who teaches at Juilliard - I think you may have heard of him - Sufjan Stevens.”

His eyes widened. Of course, he knew who Sufjan Stevens was. The man was a world-class musician who was composing symphonies when he was a teenager. He’d won three Grammies and been teaching at Juilliard for the past ten years. 

Being taught by him would be a dream come true. He couldn’t believe Mr. Stuhlbarg had talked about him to Sufjan freaking Stevens!

“I will take that as a yes.” Mr. Stuhlbarg chuckled. “I told him what an amazing pianist you are. Assuming you pass the pre-audition, which I have every faith you will,” he grinned, “he would like to meet with you.”

Timmy just blinked at him. Words were not forming in his brain and even if they were, he wasn’t sure if he could speak right now.

Clasping his shoulder, Mr. Stuhlbarg looked him in the eye. “Timmy, breathe.”

It took him another few seconds, but he began to blink normally and breathe slowly in and out. A small smile started to grow as he shook his head. “Th-that’s amazing, Mr. Stuhlbarg. Thank you so much for telling him about me.”

“It was my pleasure.” Mr. Stuhlbarg responded. “It’s probably a good thing I told you now that way hopefully you can get rid of most of your nerves before you meet him. I can tell you that while Sufjan can be tough on his students and demands the best, he doesn’t bite. He’s very soft-spoken and very nice.”

He had seen interviews with him and that lined up with his impression. Still, it didn’t really lessen his nerves.

“I also want to stress that just because you idolize him and enjoy his music that doesn’t mean his teaching style ultimately will be for you. And, even if you do get on well and even if he is impressed with you, it does not guarantee that you will be admitted. You will still have to audition.”

Timmy’s mouth went dry and he had to squeeze his fists to keep from shaking, but he managed a small nod.

“I know this is overwhelming, but you have a couple of months to prepare and I’m always here to help if you need it.” 

“Thank you, Mr. Stuhlbarg.” He gave him a weak smile. “Enjoy your lunch.”

“You, too.” Mr. Stuhlbarg nodded.

Walking backward, Timmy waved goodbye and then turned around and walked stiffly out of the room. He was supposed to meet Armie and Saoirse for lunch so he headed out to meet them by Armie’s car.

Mr. Stuhlabrg’s news kept replaying in his head and he was moving on autopilot. He was amazed he managed to make it to the car without getting hit.

Getting to meet Sufjan Stevens would be such an amazing experience - whether or not it helped his chances of getting into Juilliard but he couldn’t stop thinking of what could go wrong. It also reminded him once again of everything he still needed to do to even get to the point of meeting him.

He didn’t know how long he’d been there pacing when suddenly Armie’s gorgeous face filled his view. His expression was one of concern as he stared at Timmy.

“Timmy, are you alright?” Armie gripped his shoulder.

Armie touching him and leaning in so close did nothing to lessen his nerves. He looked down and rubbed at his forehead. “Yeah, I mean, mostly. I…” He swallowed and looked up. “I’m freaking out a little.”

“Why? What happened?” Armie’s brows knitted together and he gently took Timmy’s hand and walked him over to his car. He opened the door for him and Timmy climbed inside with Armie quickly joining him. 

“You know I’ve wanted to go to Juilliard forever.” He looked up at the ceiling and blew out a breath. “I’ve been on their website practically every day, so I’ve known what I need to do to apply for ages now...but now that the time is here, it just seems so overwhelming.” He slowly ran his hand through his somewhat unruly hair. “Picking out not just my pre-audition repertoire but what I’ll perform for a possible audition then there’s the essay, the introduction video, getting my recommendations, picking my teacher preferences and if I get an audition I’ll have to perform for 45 fucking minutes for some of the best teachers in the world. Now, Mr. Stuhlbarg says that he’s spoken to _Sufjan Stevens_ about me.”

“Timmy, I get that this is all so stressful but Sufjan Stevens! You’re always talking about him. This is awesome news!” He turned to Armie with a deep frown and Armie, who had been beaming at him, slowly grew serious. “Okay, not so awesome?”

“It is awesome - mostly.” Timmy sighed. “He wants to meet with me so I can play for him and he can see for himself my skill level and I can see whether he’s someone who’s teaching style works for me. It is like a dream, but it’s just _so much_ fucking pressure. What if I fuck up and ruin everything?”

“You’re not going to fuck anything up.” Armie gripped his hand. “I’ve seen you perform flawlessly after having a 100-degree fever and puking your guts out just minutes before. You know how to perform under pressure.”

“This is different.”

“Not really.” Armie shook his head. “I know this guy is one of your idols, but he’s still just a human being. A talented human being whose job it is to see that talent in others and will certainly see it in you. If I can see how amazing you are, he will, too.”

“You have to say that because you’re my best friend.” Timmy was touched by his words but still felt uneasy. 

“I wouldn’t lie to you.” He stared into Timmy’s eyes as if to make sure Timmy knew he was dead serious. “I wouldn’t give you false hope if I didn’t believe this with my whole heart. You are going to blow that guy away.”

Timmy suddenly lunged forward and hugged him fiercely. It was either that or kiss him senseless. He went for the safer option.

“Thank you.” He pressed his face into Armie’s neck and Armie wrapped his arms around him. “I don’t have your confidence, but when you say things like that, I believe it a little more.”

“Then I’ll keep saying it.” Armie stroked his hand down Timmy’s back.

They pulled back and both were smiling. The tension he was feeling didn’t entirely disappear, but he was feeling so much lighter and it still amazed him sometimes how Armie could just lift him up so dramatically, sometimes just by looking at him.

“Let’s get out of here.” Armie faced forward.

“Wait, what about Saoirse?” He asked while putting on his seatbelt and Armie did the same.

“Oh, sorry, I forgot to mention it. She texted me. She says she needs some major guidance so she’s going to Ms. Gerwig’s office. She said not to wait up.”

“That makes sense.” He nodded. “I hope Ms. Gerwig can help her.”

“Me, too,” Armie said as he started up the car. “So, I can probably guess where you want to go.”

He bit his lip as he fought a smile. “I know it’s so weird I consider it comfort food.” 

“They are pretty good.” Armie shrugged. “I could go for some chicken nuggets right now.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Armie grinned. “McDonald’s it is.” He pulled out of the parking lot.

 

~*~

 

“I do like fashion,” Saoirse said as she sat back in the comfortable yellow couch in Ms. Gerwig’s office.

Ms. Gerwig, or Greta as she preferred to be called, nodded. “I can see that. You’ve always been very stylish.”

“Yeah, putting together outfits has always been fun for me. I really like my job at ZARA. Maybe I could be a fashion designer?” Her eyes widened in excitement.

“That sounds like it could be a good possibility,” Greta said as she leaned against the arm of the sofa. 

She had a very informal style. Not only did she prefer the students calling her by her first name, but she very rarely sat at her desk, especially when she was interacting with students. She felt like the desk was a barrier between them and she wanted everyone who came to her to unburden themselves to feel comfortable and like they were talking to a friend.

At first, Saoirse made fun of her for acting “like a misplaced hippie” but she found Greta to actually be sincere in how much she wanted to help her students and found she gave good advice.

“But I don’t know.” She drummed her fingers against her chin. “I think designers work a lot with models and I tend to be pretty judgmental about those people. I don’t know if I could work with them.”

“I don’t know much about that world, but maybe some designers don’t work with models and they stay more behind the scenes.”

“Maybe.” She sounded doubtful as she cocked her head to the side and appeared lost in thought.

“Or there might be other fashion-related jobs,” Greta suggested.

“Yeah.” Saoirse nodded. “Or...I like writing and I like romance. Maybe I could be a romance novelist.” She scrunched her nose. “Except I don’t really relish the idea of coming up with a thousand euphemisms for ‘penis.’”

Greta giggled as she tucked her feet under her on the couch.

“I’m also pretty good at giving advice. Maybe I could be a psychologist…” She smiled up at Greta. “Or a guidance counselor.”

“You’ll get no arguments from me against this job. I find it to be pretty rewarding,” she said with total sincerity. 

“Sign me up then.” Saoirse clapped her hands together. 

“As much as that would make me burst with pride, I think maybe you should pump the brakes a little and probably take some time before coming to any decisions. You just vacillated between a whole lot of different jobs there without even taking a breath. I don’t really think you’re ready to make a final decision, nor do you need to.” She got up and walked over to her desk. “I know it's the beginning of your senior year, but that doesn’t mean you have to have your future career picked out right this second. I think this, and especially college, is a wonderful time to explore things and figure out who you are and then you can figure out the rest.”

Even though what she said made sense she couldn’t help feeling like a slacker since Armie and Timmy had known what they wanted to do for a long time. She remembered what they both said about still being scared and she understood why they felt like that, but she still couldn’t help feeling like it was different for her.

“It would probably help if I had any idea where I want to go to college or if college is even right for me.” Saoirse sighed. 

“That is a valid question. College isn’t right for everyone and no law says you have to start college right after you graduate. You could take a year or more off.” Greta sat back down and handed her a book. “I think a book like this could help.” The book was called “Careers: The Graphic Guide to Finding the Perfect Job for You.” “There are a lot of great, interesting careers there and they list the best colleges to go to if that career is something you’re interested in. Also, you should go to Moe’s Books and check out this book, ‘Doable: The Girls’ Guide to Accomplishing Just About Anything.’ It’s for young, independent women like yourself and helping them with the questions you have.” She sat back. “There are so many options. You can go online and there are tests you can take to see what careers best suit your personality.”

Those tests were all over the internet but she’d never paid much attention to them. She glanced at Greta out of the corner of her eye. “What do you think would best suit my personality?”

“That is a hard question.” Greta pursed her lips. “I don’t want to influence your decision or tell you what to do. Plus, you are such a beautifully unique individual. But...I will admit that I have thought you would be one hell of an actress.”

“I don’t know about that.” She frowned and picked at the couch.

“I know your parents don’t have a great history as actors,” Greta stated as gently as possible.

“Well, now that my dad has ditched his family he’s doing a little better. He’s advanced from doing nothing to landing a few commercials and doing local theater. Thank God, we’re not holding him back anymore.” She squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head as she looked up at the ceiling.

Greta put her hand on her shoulder. “I’m sorry for bringing up a sensitive subject.”

Sighing, Saoirse looked down at her. “It’s not your fault. I asked for your opinion. Why do you think I’d be good at that?”

“You’re a creative person. You have such an expressive face and great access to your emotions. I think this Fall’s play might really be well-suited for you.”

“Why?” Saoirse raised her eyebrow.

“I don’t mean to be insensitive but the main female character is dealing with a break-up. To say she doesn’t handle it well is an understatement. I’m not suggesting anything about how you’re handling your situation with Ansel, but I think if you got the part, channeling your feelings through this character could be cathartic for you,” she explained.

Saoirse bit her lip and picked at her skirt. It could have its advantages. Getting to cry and scream on stage would be better than having a real breakdown in school in front of everyone.

She glanced up at Greta and nodded. “I’ll think about trying out for the play.”

Giving it more thought she realized it could be fun, especially getting to hang out with Timmy more. Unless, of course, Ansel got the lead again. she wasn’t sure if that would be awkward or an awesome opportunity to make Ansel’s life as uncomfortable as possible. With that last thought, the idea of doing the play became even more appealing.

 

~*~

 

For the first time, Armie was really glad that for the first week of practice there was a rule of no contact or hitting. With the way a lot of the guys on the team were looking at him, he would have ended up on his back a lot more than he would have preferred.

As he suspected, Ansel had already given his side of things which Armie was sure didn’t paint him or Saoirse in a great light. At first, he thought of giving one of his speeches and explaining the whole situation but he felt uncomfortable with the idea of giving any details about the situation without asking Saoirse if she was okay with him discussing it. He also didn’t feel like pretending he did anything wrong that required he grovel for forgiveness.

Ultimately, he just decided to behave like he normally did. He led the team through warm-up and stretching exercises. After that, he helped Lyle Chandler when he was having trouble with the Jump Cut Drill. He joked around with the members of the team who were still friendly like Ash’s brother Tyler and Justin Theroux about things like how boring Mr. Portman’s class was and teaching everyone tips about how to sleep with their eyes open as he did. 

Once the other holdouts saw how much fun they were all having, they joined in. and by the end of practice, the only person still mad at him was Ansel. 

In a way, he was grateful to have had something else to focus on during practice otherwise it would have been really boring. As much as he had always liked playing football, his interest in it had been waning over the years. The practices were especially tedious. They were just all the same and he didn’t feel like he was learning anything or getting better.

Armie was relieved when their coach let them go early. He met Timmy and Saoirse at his car. They hadn’t been waiting long. Timmy had just gotten out of a drama club meeting and Saoirse had a meeting for the school paper where she was one of the school photographers. When he arrived Saoirse had been in the middle of telling Timmy about her meeting with Greta. She showed them the book Greta had loaned her.

“I don’t know if this book is helping or making things worse. There are _so_ many careers I had never even considered, like do you guys think I would make a good stockbroker?” She said flipping to a page in the book and showing it to them.

“No.” Armie and Timmy said in unison while chuckling.

“Why not?” Her nose scrunched and she narrowed her eyes. 

“Oh, come on, Sersh,” Armie said, shaking his head.

“You loathe math more than I do,” Timmy chimed in. “You would be bored to tears and probably frustrated as hell.”

She flopped back against the backseat. “I suppose you have a point.” She continued to peruse the book.

“You also like photography. Maybe you could do something with that?” Timmy suggested. 

“That’s more like a hobby and I don’t think I’m very great.”

“That’s what college is for. Learning and getting better.”

“Maybe,” she said absent-mindedly and flipped to a random page. “Oh, what about a race car driver?”

“Are you being serious?” Armie asked as he pulled up to Timmy’s driveway. “You hate driving.”

“Ugh, I know!” She groaned.

After he parked, they all get out of the car and walked up to the front door. 

“Oh, I have a great idea.” Saoirse tucked the book under her arm. “What about a talk show host?”

“Is that in the book?” Timmy turned his head to glance at her.

“No.” She shook her head. “This is my idea. I think it’s pretty brilliant. I think I’d be great at it.” She started to list things off on her fingers as they walked inside. “I like to argue. I like sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong and handing out advice. I’m loud.”

Timmy threw back his head and chuckled. 

“That is all true,” Armie said with a smirk.

“The title could be simply Saoirse. Oh, but it would have to have an exclamation mark - Saoirse!” She spread out her hands.

Putting his face in his hands, Timmy started to laugh louder. 

They stopped in the kitchen and Saoirse sat at the kitchen table while a giggling Timmy and Armie started to raid the fridge.

“The theme music could be this stereotypical Irish jig and like Ellen, I’d come out dancing.” She got up and started doing a jig. She jumped and kicked her legs out spastically. 

Armie collapsed against the kitchen island and Timmy literally fell on the floor he was wheezing and cackling so hard, even Saoirse couldn’t help the broad grin on her face and started to giggle.

Sitting down again, she continued with her fantasy. “But I wouldn’t just interview celebrities and stuff. I’d have real people on to discuss real issues like people who can’t find work, people who triumph over adversity, girls who get dumped and need answers...” The smile slowly fell from her lips and she blew out a long breath as she ran her hand atop the white tablecloth.

Timmy and Armie’s laughter came to a halt as well. Armie could see the misery from the past day settle in her eyes again. 

The two of them shared a look of concern before they joined her at the table. Armie put a bottle of water in front of her.

“God, does everything have to come back to that?” She threw up her hands. “I didn’t even see him that much today. He should be gone from my mind.”

“It doesn’t really work like that,” he said gently.

“Trust me I know.” She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “I think it would just be easier if I could really understand what the hell happened.”

“What did happen?” Timmy asked. “You didn’t really go into specifics.”

“I don’t know.” Saoirse shook her head. “Everything was fine.” She rolled her eyes. “Okay, I guess everything wasn’t exactly fine. We got in a few small fights that day, but nothing really unusual. He didn’t give me any indication that he was thinking about breaking up. Hell, just that morning he even asked me about Homecoming and what we were going to wear. Then suddenly we have sex and after he’s just like ‘so sorry, I’m done with you.’” Her lip curled up and she looked angry enough to spit nails. “He wasn’t even sorry.”

“Did he give you a reason?” Armie put his hand on top of hers. 

“Several, actually.” She picked up the bottle of water but didn’t attempt to open it. “The sex was actually pretty bad and he was frustrated but the sex was never all that great.”

“Really?” He bit his lip and tried valiantly to hold back a chuckle. When she glared at him, he got serious again. “Sorry.” He stared down at the table sheepishly.

Out of the corner of his eye, he glanced up at Timmy who shook his head, but by the way, he was biting his lip, Armie could tell he was trying to hold back his laughter.

“Anyway, he also said so much bullshit like I was always criticizing him and I was never there for him or supportive enough and that I didn’t like who he was. Oh, and that I always put you guys first above him.”

“Us?” Timmy gestured between him and Armie. “Oh, that is bullshit! You were always there for him and supportive!”

“I know!” She gripped the bottle tightly. “I am such an idiot! I really thought we were going to make it and be one of those successful high school love stories but, I was so wrong! I don’t even know if I really knew him at all.”

Armie squeezed her arm. “You’re not an idiot. He’s the idiot. He never should have let you go. He never deserved you in the first place. You never should have been with him.”

As soon as those last words came out of his mouth, he knew he said the wrong thing when Saoirse slowly turned her gaze to him and her eyes narrowed.

“Is that your way of saying ‘I told you so?’”

“No!” Armie’s eyes widened. 

“Because I am stunned you haven’t managed to say it already given how much you’ve always hated Ansel and, yeah, you turned out to be right but you are the last person who should be saying ‘I told you so’ given who you are dating.” She threw the bottle of water aside.

Gritting his teeth, he knew he shouldn’t respond because he knew she was just lashing out but he couldn’t stop his mouth from betraying him. “Why are you bringing her into this? My relationship has nothing to do with yours.”

“I don’t know about that.” She shrugged. “You were right about Ansel, just like I’m right about her.”

“I’m really not in the mood to get into this with you - _again_.” He rubbed at his forehead.

“Oh, do you want me to stay out of your relationship? Maybe you should stay out of my business, too! I mean, why did you have to get all caveman with Ansel last night and act like my big protector?”

“What?” He scratched his head in confusion. “You’re the one who ran into that room looking for us!”

“Because I wanted to get out of there, not because I wanted you to throw Ansel against a glass table! You could have seriously hurt him!”

“Why do you care? He deserved it!”

“I’ll keep that in mind the next time I’m in the room with Elizabeth and a glass table.” 

Before he could throw out another retort, Timmy stood up.

“Enough!” He hung his head and sighed. 

This was a situation that was far too familiar for him, playing referee between the two. 

The first one he turned to was Armie. “What are you doing? You know she’s just trying to pick a fight.”

He took a deep breath and exhaled looking up at the ceiling. Clearly, Timmy was right. He should not have let things escalate like that. As much as he loved Saoirse, they were like oil and water sometimes.

“And you?” Timmy glared at her. “What are you doing? Does anything you’re saying make sense? You can’t really blame Armie for wanting to protect you when you run into the room crying with Ansel chasing you and your underwear is torn. He’d do the same thing if anyone hurt me.”

Armie shuddered to think what he would do if someone hurt Timmy like that - he’d probably end up in jail.

“I know!” She pushed away from the table and turned as she leaned against the counter. After letting out a few breaths, she turned around. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too.” He stood up and walked toward her. 

“I don’t mean to pick a fight with you. The person I want to be fighting with is Ansel.” She groaned. “I mean, not fighting necessarily but there are things I need to say to him. I think maybe I should go over and see him tonight.”

Instantly, the boys shook their heads. Armie kept thinking about how Ansel talked about her when he went to pick up his car. She shouldn’t have to deal with that.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Timmy was definitely on the same wavelength as him. “With the way Ansel has been behaving, I don’t trust him around you.”

“I agree.” Armie nodded. “You’re both still really emotional right now. You should probably wait a few days.”

“I still have things at his house I should pick up.” She crossed her arms over her chest. 

“Do you need to get that stuff right now?” Despite remembering what Ansel said about throwing out her stuff, he was still hesitant. 

She didn’t answer him and didn’t seem to be budging from her decision.

“If you need to get it now, maybe you can wait and we can go with you.” He looked over at Timmy, who stepped up beside him.

“Look, I shouldn’t have picked a fight with you but it’s not because I didn’t mean some of what I said. Despite your very successful audition last night for the Kevin Costner role, I don’t actually need a bodyguard. I don’t need you guys to protect me.” She tried to soften her comment by gently holding both of their hands.

“I know you can take care of yourself. I do,” Armie started. “I just think you’ve been through enough the last couple of days and should take time to heal before confronting him but it’s your decision. We’ll back you up - from a distance - if that’s what you want.”

“I love you, guys.” She hugged them both. When she pulled back, her brow furrowed and she stared down at the floor. “I’ll think about it.”

“Okay,” Timmy and Armie said. It was obviously the best they could hope for.

Saoirse grinned at them both before she sat back down again at the table.

“Does anyone want something to eat?” Armie wandered back over to the refrigerator. 

“Nah.” Timmy shook his head. “I think I’m still stuffed from lunch...and breakfast.”

“Yeah, I’m not hungry either.” She went back to looking through the careers book.

Keeping the refrigerator open a while longer, he tried to decide if he wanted anything. After practice, he’s always hungry, but he’s not sure if he can eat because there’s a knot starting to form in his stomach. After all, he knows he’s going to have to leave Timmy’s house soon and go home and welcome his parents.

“Arms, I’m not done with this yet, but I can lend it to you later if you want,” she said while still looking down at the book. 

“Why would I need it?” He closed the refrigerator and his brow wrinkled.

“Well, I know Timmy doesn’t need to look at it.” She closed the book. “I know you’re scared about Juilliard, but Juilliard or no Juilliard, I know you’re going to become a famous musician.”

Timmy smiled.

“And I know you’ve already been accepted to a school and you’re going to continue to be a great athlete at college, but is that what you want for your future?” She leaned forward and stared up at him.

“Uh, I don’t know.” He shoved his hands into his pockets. “I guess I haven’t really thought that far ahead.” That was a slight lie.

“You should. I mean, even if you do become some major league football player, those guys are retiring earlier and earlier. So, you should probably have some sort of back-up plan. You don’t have anything else you might want to try?”

“Uh…” He fidgeted from foot to foot. His phone vibrated in his pocket. When he fished it out, he saw it was a text from his parents. It had been a long time since he was actually relieved to hear from them. “It’s my parents. They’ll be home soon. I should get my stuff and take Saoirse home.”

“Okay,” Timmy responded and followed him upstairs. 

Armie had already packed up his stuff this morning but hadn’t taken it with him so when he went inside Timmy’s bedroom, he quickly picked up his black duffle bag. When he turned back around, Timmy was leaning against the door frame, pursing his lips.

“I can’t believe I’m actually going to miss your snoring.”

“And I’m going to miss you being way too chipper at 9 o’clock in the morning.” He chuckled. 

“Ugh, why are we getting so maudlin?” Timmy grinned and shook his head. “It’s not like we don’t live next door to each other and see each other _every day_.”

“Right.” He slung the duffle bag’s strap over his shoulder. Despite what Timmy said, he could wipe the frown from his face.

“And don’t worry about what Saoirse said.” Timmy gestured behind him. “You have a lot of time before you have to think about that.”

“I know.” He walked toward him and they headed out of his room.

“And if you do have any future career ideas you know you can tell me.” Timmy tried to catch his eye.

He looked away and swallowed before glancing back at him with a small grin. “Of course.” 

After they left Timmy’s, he managed to drop Saoirse off without them getting into a fight. She just kept listing ideas she thought would be good for both of them though he wasn’t sure how serious she was being when she suggested he become a tow truck driver.

His parents weren’t home when he arrived so he went upstairs to his room. As soon as he put down his bags, Armie went to his closet and pulled out a small mahogany chest. When he opened it, he removed a few Men’s Health magazines that were on top. Underneath that, he had dozens of black and white notebooks. He pulled out the latest one he’d been using and after putting the chest away, sat down with it on his bed.

The notebooks contained tons of stories Armie had written. It felt a little silly to go to those lengths to hide them, but even though his mother didn’t clean, he didn’t trust her not to snoop in his room. It was very important that those notebooks - and the contents inside - remain private. 

He’d been writing like this for a couple of years now. People had always told him how great his stories were and that he was a great storyteller. He once regaled Timmy with a story while Timmy was sick that had soup coming out of his nose. 

Not surprisingly, Timmy was his biggest inspiration to write. He had told him once if he wrote down any of his stories he could probably sell them. Just that one comment sparked something in Armie and he’d been writing ever since. 

Though he loved them dearly, he’d never shared his writing with even Saoirse or Timmy. Despite what people told him, he was too insecure about his writing and worried it wasn’t very good. There was probably a big difference between coming up with great stories at parties and being a good writer. 

While he knew he could probably show his writing to Saoirse and she would be honest, he wasn’t sure if she would be able to keep it a secret from Timmy and it was his response he was the most worried about.

If Timmy thought his writing sucked, it would be absolutely devastating and hard to recover from. And he was so sweet and supportive, he’d find something to compliment even if he hated most of it, so Armie wasn’t sure he’d be able to completely trust a positive reaction from him. 

So for now, until he gained more confidence, he would keep his writing to himself.

Flipping open the notebook, he pulled a pen out of his pocket and got back to work on his current story. It was centered around an angry young boy who develops an alter ego who acts as a vigilante around town. Fight Club was one of his favorite movies and it’s definitely influenced this particular story quite a bit. It was in the early stages but he was kind of happy with how it was turning out.

This weekend’s events would provide him with a lot of fodder since so many characters were based on the people in his life. One particularly odious character named Greg, who was based on Ansel, would definitely be the next victim. A wicked grin spread on his face and he started to furiously scribble out the ideas as fast as they came to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! @FilmGeekStacey on Tumblr.
> 
> I haven't done this before (hope this works) this is a link to the Cheer Up playlist:
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7g8TovsuvyikRcUFei0A2q?si=hetAMSLDQcK43CzCpZjC1Q


End file.
